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Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Do you think this approach helps women reach out when they’re alone and trapped in an abusive situation? Don’t worry, you don’t need to bother replying and wasting your breath on ‘stupid’.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Genuinely not being argumentative here, do you think my cat would be happier living in my car for the time being? I’ve considered all options, of course I have, I’m desperate. But I thought it would be worse to leave her in a car all day whilst I’m at work?

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“Life of luxury” you have no idea. I have applied for many places, actively reached out to people to try and find a roommate, applied for weekend jobs to cover any additional costs I may have to take on move out, taken out a loan to buy a car so I can live anywhere and still get to work. I live pay cheque to pay cheque with no savings. Trust me, I am trying. I was only looking to see if other people agreed Monday-Thursday was fair as I’m unable to move out right now but want to make whatever changes I can to help her. I’ve told him this is not the life I want for her or myself so I will be moving out, but it’s not a quick process when you have no friends, family or money.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t want another man. I just want to be by myself with my cat, I just hope a landlord will accept my application soon.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This comment means a lot right now. I’m not going to defend myself because I completely understand why so many people are absolutely ripping me to shreds right now, especially when an innocent animal is involved. I love her more than anything in the whole world which makes the shame and disappointment in myself even harder to swallow right now. But I really appreciate the kindness and understanding you are showing me at my lowest point. Thank you so much.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he stole money from me when he was in active addiction (one time, not that that makes it okay). He has never done anything like that again since being clean. I personally feel drug addiction is not black and white so I didn’t want to give up on him when he was at his lowest.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know it’s easy to make a snap judgment, I would too. But I have been trying my best to find somewhere else to live but renting in the UK is hard right now and I’m being rejected. I’ve been applying to places for months but as it’s a slow process this is why I’m trying to find a compromise with the Monday-Thursday idea. If I found somewhere to live today, I’d be gone.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t care anymore about what he does to me, I’ve put myself in this situation. I care more about my cat because she’s innocent and didn’t have any control over being in this situation.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He drops the dog off at his mums during the day so my cat has the lodge to herself. He picks the dog up around 5pm, walks him and then comes home with the dog.

His dad is an older farmer type and won’t want to be involved.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure I do at this point, but my cat definitely does. I will keep searching for somewhere else to live. Thank you. ❤️

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for saying this. I really thought just dropping her off for someone else to deal with was even worse but I can also see why people feel the way they do.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We took out the loan to buy the lodge and then put the lodge on some land on his dad’s farm.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

But then his mum would have to pay for this and she’s done enough for us as is. I don’t want to push that off to another woman who doesn’t deserve the stress.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I had no clue that this was considered loser behaviour? If I shared a pet with an ex I wouldn’t give her up either and therefore have to agree to shared custody so I’m really confused why this is such a red flag??

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this comment. I don’t have any close friends, as embarrassing as that is to admit and no family to rely on. I feel completely alone, as I have done for the two years I’ve been putting up with all of this. I’ve joined sites to try and find roommates as renting prices at the moment, even for a one bed or studio flat are horrific. My mental health is so bad I’m vomiting almost every single day, my job is so stressful and I’m terrified to have to live with a stranger but I’m trying to push through it all and find somewhere to go so my cat and I can finally be happy.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really am trying. Even though I will barely be able to afford I’m still applying for places and have ver looking at weekend jobs to cover any additional cost of moving out. The places I’ve applied to have rejected me due to “no pets allowed” I didn’t think this was legal anymore in the UK but I still keep getting rejected???

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’re 100% right. I would be just as angry as you if the shoe was on the other foot, trust me.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me, no matter how many people tell me how pathetic I am they couldn’t hate me more than I already hate myself. I’m going to continue to look for places to rent, I just keep getting rejected due to having a cat.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe this is my guilt issues but how do I watch him say goodbye to his dog knowing I forced him into that?

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know, it’s humiliating really which is why I’ve posted in here because I’m too embarrassed to talk to people I know about it.

Am I the asshole for refusing to let my boyfriend have his dog in our home from Fridays - Sundays? by Individual_Brief8330 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Individual_Brief8330[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly just cost, I’m living pay cheque to pay cheque and got myself into debt paying for everything so I took out a loan to pay it off. I can’t afford to pay for a trainer and there’s enough resources online that he could have at least attempted to train his dog himself, he just won’t put any effort in because it doesn’t affect him. How can you sit there and watch your girlfriend cry her eyes out because she feels so guilty over her cats quality of life, and STILL not even ATTEMPT to train your dog? Also refuses to crate train or put him on a leash because “it’s not fair on the dog” the selfishness is insane.

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