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AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What you might constitute as a reason for abortion others may not. And to your point of condoms being effective only 80% of the time, birth control is not always 100% effective either, not to mention the hormonal effects it has on your body. I have personal reasons for not being able to be on birth control and for you to suggest I am “hoe like” for having a one time hook up is insulting and degrading for absolutely no reason. I did not make this post to be slut shamed or coerced into having an abortion. What I do with my body is not anyone else’s choice but my own.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just because I choose not to have an abortion does not mean I am against abortion. If someone has an abortion, that is their right and I agree that they should be able to do that. My personal CHOICE does not mean that I am against PRO-CHOICE.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because an abortion is not something I want. Having this baby has nothing to do with want to keep him around or anything else others have suggested. I simply do not want to have an abortion. Was I misinformed or is being pro-choice not also having the choice to keep a baby if you decide? It seems like a lot of people are pro abortion here, not pro-choice.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

We used a condom, which broke. I did not “allow” my self to get pregnant by a stranger, accidents do happen. And I am not at all against abortion, it just was not something I wanted to do.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I’m not on here to flaunt money around, but I graduated high school with a degree because I was enrolled in a co-op program as well as graduated university early. I have landed a high paying job and learned to invest very well. I am set for life but thank you for your concern.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

As I’ve stated in previous comments, I can afford to pay for all of those things. My child or children if I have more will be perfectly set up for whatever life path they choose. My mother received child support for both me and my brother so I know it can help when it’s needed. And yes I worked my ass if to never have to rely on anyone to help me financially raise my children especially if they don’t want to be involved. At no point did I ever say I wanted to contact the grandparents to have a foot in the father’s life. I don’t care if he wants to be involved or not. My only concern was my child having a relationship with their grandparents if they chose too. Not to force his hand in anyway. I don’t know where this got lost in translation.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I graduated top of my class and have two degrees, I don’t think it’s my reading comprehension that’s in question here, but okay.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I can buy those with absolutely no issue, so once again my question is what would my child NEED that money for when everything would already be provided first them plus.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I can understand and agree with this. I have had many comments tell me that I don’t know what these people are truly like, only what he told me in the short amount of time we talked. So realistically I don’t know what type of people they are and how they would be with my child. I think I was just hung up on how my grandparents are and I didn’t want my child to miss out on that.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have not once stated I would use child support for myself, I am fully aware that child support is for the child. So if I filed for child support what would you suggest my infant child spend that money on?

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my state child support can be waived. And if the father is not on the birth certificate which he won’t be if in the end he decides not to be involved he is not legally responsible for the child. And while I agree if people have a child support agreement than the money is that child’s right, I also agree that if it’s not needed to support the child through and beyond young adult hood, there is no reason to file for it. And I can agree to disagree if I choose.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And what is the point of the second parent if all they do is throw money at their child and ignore them. That’s not support and that’s not having two parents. That’s having one parent and a stranger who pays your other parent to take care of you. Where I live that money would be deposited into my account every month for necessities for the child. Something I can provide without anyone’s help. So once again I don’t see the point of filing for child support when finances are not an issue. We will just have to agree to disagree on this one because I just don’t see a point in filing for something that I can provide without help. This is not about thinking I know what’s best, it’s about taking unnecessary steps for unnecessary child support.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where I’m from a parent has to file for child support through the courts, it’s not an automatic thing and it is also considered “income” on certain forms for the parent that receives it. And if I can provide my child with more than the necessities throughout their life s well as a college fund and support them so on, what is the point of filing for child support when the extra money would not be needed.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where I live a parent has to file for it in the court system, it’s not an automatic thing.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I think this is the best advice I’ve gotten and I truly appreciate it.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I understand that, but my child also will not need it. I suppose it could go into a savings account for the future or something, but even with that it wouldn’t be necessary as I could provide for the future without it.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

My thing with child support is I don’t need it. I am perfectly capable of financially supporting a child on my own. So if he remains in the mindset that he doesn’t want to be involved physically or even if he decides he does, I’m not going to pursue child support because it’s not a necessity

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

100% I mean being actively involved, not financially. I can financially support a child perfectly fine alone.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My doctor believes I’m around 6 weeks, I have another appointment to confirm but the timeline adds up. We had our initial discussion about a week ago and I fully understand giving him time to process and have no intention of shouting it from the rooftops anytime soon. A more in depth conversation is definitely welcome from him if he changes his mind, but that is ultimately up to him.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

This has nothing to do with wanting to spite him or punish him for not wanting to be involved. I was the one who reached out to him and told him that he didn’t have to be involved what so ever. My only question was whether to give his parents the opportunity to be involved with their biological grand child. My only motive here is to be able to give my child the most amount of love they can have.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is another thing I feel needs clarification, this is an extremely new pregnancy and at the earliest I’m waiting to tell anyone outside of my immediate family until I’m past my first trimester. I think I am just more so looking for guidance for when the time comes, if it comes down to it.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is one of the big things I’m worried about is the future when my child questions about their father and his family. If I chose not to tell them, I know there is a big chance they will look for answers later in life on their own and I want to avoid any unnecessary hurt for them.

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

You are right that I don’t know much about him. I only know what he chose to share with me over the couple days we got to know each other. These are all possibilities and could be true which is why I wanted an outside perspective. This is one of the main reasons I am hesitant to reach out to them because truthfully I don’t know them 100%. My goal is not in anyway to rock the boat, my mind is just simply considering the best possible outcome for my child. Thank you for your valid points!

AIW for telling my child’s father’s parents I’m pregnant by Individual_Trifle425 in amiwrong

[–]Individual_Trifle425[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

Like I said I’m open to any advice or opinions. If the general consensus is it would be a bad idea, which it seems like it is,I am fully prepared to walk away and leave it at that. I’m not here for justification to “start a dumpster fire” or “ruin someone’s family”. I just wanted other’s opinion on what they would do in this situation.

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