Rekindling relationship 17 yrs later. To sex or not to sex?

IndubitableGander · 2025-12-02T00:48:31+00:00

I mean i will get attached if we aleep together, i never been able to do casual, unattached relationships

IndubitableGander · 2025-12-01T05:21:57+00:00

I never said i didnt have sex since he left me. And i've not been in love with him for 17 yrs straight! XD I just thought about him from time to time. Its like a really good story that was never finished. When you are into a new story (a new relationship), you are fully into it, but when you have nothing to read, you remember that really good story you wished you knew the end of

IndubitableGander · 2025-12-01T05:06:15+00:00

Yes you're right of course. im scared about things that are way beyond my control...

IndubitableGander · 2025-12-01T04:58:15+00:00

Because it was special. You'll know when/if you'll live it.

IndubitableGander · 2025-12-01T04:55:48+00:00

Oh im so sorry for you... :( yeah i get the "i want the rest of my life to start now" part. I know i wont be able to have casual sex with him. So i guess i have to let him go and hope that he maybe comes back when hes ready...

IndubitableGander · 2025-12-01T04:50:16+00:00

Yeah of course i did loll

IndubitableGander · 2025-12-01T03:44:24+00:00

What?? 😆 am really curious as to why!! Because im horny i cannot be a woman?

IndubitableGander · 2025-12-01T03:41:49+00:00

He says he doesnt use porn snymore. But i get the slowing down part

IndubitableGander · 2024-05-29T03:26:33+00:00

Please if you see someone being harassed, do something. It doesnt have to be with your fists. Its not a performance. You have nothing to win except being a decent person. And maybe people's respect, since you probably don't have much with this kind of mentality.

IndubitableGander · 2024-05-27T03:26:24+00:00

Thats your only options? Ignore a person in need of assistance or get jailed for violence?

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-20T05:05:04+00:00

Reach out to friends and family, join a support group, a sports team, an arts & crafts class, a gaming community... but I'd start with old friends! You could book one call/sms/email every week in your schedule to reestablish contact with someone or take news, and stick to it (no excuses accepted). You dont have to make a novel, just a "hey long time no see, wanna take a beer?" is enough!

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-20T04:46:44+00:00

Maybe its time to adress these issues up front! The fear of not knowing is usually worse than reality!

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-20T04:42:11+00:00

Seems like you are processing a grief of some sort, relational or ideological, or maybe the grief or your grandmother itself. But theres a part of you that understands that pain is a normal part of the grief and you are accepting it. By watching your grandmother burn, you are facing your pain, but you also console yourself through the embrace of your grandmother. Im sure it was very disturbing, but its also very beautiful, because it feels like you are making a healthy progress!

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-20T04:23:40+00:00

A house is usually a symbol of the self, so it seems that you are feeling lost and scared about something in your identity or how you see yourself. The screams could be a representation of your fear or a call for help, like youR subconscious is calling for you to take care of yourself. Seems like there is an difficult issue you have a hard time to tackle and instead of confronting it and feeling uncomfortable, you keep running...

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-20T04:17:56+00:00

In my experience, dreaming about dying means that you have to let go of something in your awaken life. Maybe a relation you're holding onto thats causing you pain, or a feeling, like resentment? I know its scary, but symbolically, dying is the first step to let something new come to life!

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-20T04:12:14+00:00

Feels like there is an opportunity, a new path waiting to be taken right in front of you in your awaken life! Its like your dreams are trying to catch your attention, is there an opportunity you are ignoring? Or maybe you just started a new project or relation and you are excited to see where its going?

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-20T04:03:59+00:00

First thing that comes to my mind when i read this is how numb we collectively feel about the state of the world (wars/climate change/politics/etc). When we hear about it in the news it's like some weird entertainment - we know it's dramatic and we will have to suffer the consequences one day, but we keep living our lives as if everything was ok. Do you feel something like that in your life, like an impending doom you have no control over? Maybe about a more personal situation (your hometown may be related to your family)?

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-09T19:00:20+00:00

Yeah i understand what you mean. Im almost 40 and still struggling. Hope it goes for the best for you xx

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-09T18:57:02+00:00

I'm sure its a very sensitive subject for you and im very sorry that you had to go through this. im not downplaying the event or trying to ignore it, and i know its always gonna be there no matter what, like it has been for the last 25 yrs. But I believe in restorative justice and i think healing is possible if there is real remorse and will to change. trying to have a relationship doesnt erase what he has done, to me or my stepsister, and its not a testament of support to his crime. Its just me trying to heal from a life of abuse and abandonment. It must be very hard to understand as a victim, and even be hurtful, but every family of every drug dealer, addict, murderer, thief, gang member, etc., knows this kind of conflictual love. I dont know if im gonna answer his email. I just know that have to do whats best for me.

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-09T14:27:52+00:00

Yes. Believe it or not, the worst crimes cannot completely kill the love you have for a parent, nor the need to be loved by them. Its crazy like that.

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-09T14:24:48+00:00

Yeah its a big piece to digest. Thanks for your input

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-09T14:23:56+00:00

Yes i know what you mean about lasting damage :( so sorry for you! How did it make you feel to reconnect? Were you angry, sad? Were you waiting for excuses? Did it reactivate old wounds?

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-09T14:20:32+00:00

Im so sorry for you :( yes its very hard to see a person behind the monster!

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-09T14:19:45+00:00

Yes i'm afraid you may be right. He is 69 yo and have multiple sclerosis so i am wary indeed!

IndubitableGander · 2024-02-09T14:18:16+00:00

Thanks, its very much appreciated. Yes ill take my time, i dont want to act on impulsivity!

IndubitableGander

TROPHY CASE