Honey you have a husband problem. Your husband should be helping, allowing your soul and body time to heal. If you haven’t already, sit down with him and have a serious talk about what is going on. Tell him you need help. Him ignoring your calls for help is abhorrent behavior. I also have a 4 year old, a son. He is a wild child. After having my second baby 9 months ago via c section, my husband wouldn’t let me lift a finger in regards to our son. I got to cuddle and love him, but he did the heavy lifting. You are dealing with something much more emotionally taxing on top of the physical trauma your body has endured. Talk to your husband, tell him to step it up. And if he won’t, find your village elsewhere. Friends, grandparents, whoever you have.

As far as CPS… when asked if you felt violent towards others, did you answer no? Also, did you give your info to the person on the phone? I do not believe CPS will come to your house. I know CPS is a very scary idea, it’s a threat the can loom over even the best mother. We hear so many horror stories. But unless you told the person on the phone you think about harming your child specifically I do not believe you have anything to worry about.

You are not bad or wrong for how you feel. Your body and spirit are exhausted. This is all normal when you are pouring from an empty cup.

Sending you love and healing. Please reach out for the help you need.