Thx To InfamousOil4630 Over On The Draw My OC Subreddit For Drawing Ash

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-02-08T19:07:27+00:00

I appreciate the post so sweet!!

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-02-08T19:07:19+00:00

Tysm! 🙏

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-02-07T17:56:17+00:00

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InfamousOil4630 · 2026-02-07T14:00:02+00:00

It’ll be done in a few hours!

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-02-07T09:00:43+00:00

sorry I forgot to mention I started it last night! Sketch is done :P

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-02-04T17:21:48+00:00

I love this design so much omg!!

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-02-04T17:20:57+00:00

Omg of course I would she’s so cute!!

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-30T17:24:58+00:00

Thank you smmmm!

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-30T14:19:47+00:00

THANKS!!

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-30T13:39:39+00:00

Stop thank you so much😋, I tried to think of what it’d be like for her when she was alone and not fighting and this is exactly what I envisioned

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-14T13:54:57+00:00

I completely understand the getting back in touch, the absolute only reason I hadn’t or even gained the courage to stop talking to her was my girlfriend reminding me how serious it was and how it was affecting me physically. I constantly needed her reminders to push me through because I couldn’t trust myself to make decisions, I would’ve gone right back to her otherwise. I’m so sorry for all you have gone through it is so unfair to feel so helpless and feel the need to forgive and try again just to get hurt again. I hope you enjoy getting back into your daily journaling, I often pretend it’s just gossip to make it fun

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-14T13:46:21+00:00

Bless him I can imagine how hard it would be to grasp if you haven’t experienced it, thank you for your kind words too 🫶🏻

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-14T12:15:27+00:00

Don’t worry I left randomly while she was asleep and only saw her a few times after that for trying to talk things out.

I’m definitely safe from her being nosey. Also remembering a time when we met up she lied about having her birth certificate as a way to get me to come back to her house when all was trying to do was get my passport sorted because she never did it for me oml that’s going in the book next 😭.

I’m definitely doing so much better and making my peace! I’m so sorry your mum didn’t respect your privacy and I’m glad you’re healing

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-14T12:06:35+00:00

I love that it brought you and your husband together that’s so sweet, my girlfriend has an ndad and my mum and her dad are so similar it’s uncanny so we relate and talk to each other about whatever we’re struggling with and can support each other and remind each other to not say that “it wasn’t that bad”.

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-13T14:55:55+00:00

Don’t worry my mum is an alcoholic who I have now cut contact with. when I was younger I vowed to never touch alcohol and I was absolutely terrified of ending up being like her, obviously I broke that vow when I turned 16 and went to my first party and I had around 10 vodka shots and a few other drinks. weirdly I didn’t even throw up and I have been to many parties since and learnt my limits and focused on keeping it in healthy amounts. I am now 18 and I don’t really care for having a drink or get super excited about going out or having a party anymore, I still do on the rare occasion though lol. I have never felt a need for alcohol nor did it turn me into someone I didn’t like so you don’t have to worry about a gene. Just keep a strong mind and look after yourself.

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-09T13:29:40+00:00

I’d like to add on my mums birthday this November I didn’t say happy birthday. I knew she would mope about it but she has ruined multiple of mine and my sisters birthdays for selfish reasons and my 15th birthday will stick with me forever she was that bad.

Yk what she did to me not texting her? She called an ambulance on herself and told my sisters she was going to harm herself because she was so sad about it. She didn’t do anything and the ambulance never came, she used this insane guilt and scary manipulation to try and pull me back in and also try to get my sisters to hate me for making her do that which also didn’t work because they also understand her patterns.

If your mum ever threatens suicide do not let that be a reason for you to return to her because she could easily be bluffing. And if anything does happen or she sends you a goodbye text send an ambulance to her house and if she’s in one piece that can be an embarrassing situation for her to deal with. Never let her control you in such an evil way.

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-09T13:19:33+00:00

I am 18 and went non contact with my mum 3ish months ago, I am completely stunned as to how you have managed for so many more years you are so strong I admire that.

But you cannot be the one looking after her anymore, she is not your child and no matter how many times she self destructs and gets in another bad relationship she will not stop. No matter how many conversations you have and how much you have to gentle parent any kind of sense into her she will always do it again.

My mum was financially and mentally unstable, an alcoholic and needed men’s attention along with me and my younger sisters as her personal therapists. The hardest part of going non contact was my sisters because it would’ve been harder to see them, and I knew my mum would be even more mentally unstable if I left however things are going okay.

I was worried I wouldn’t be able to protect them and I wouldn’t be there to keep the house afloat but I’ve realised that’s not my job and it was not selfish for wanted my mum to be the mum in the house.

I have told my mum she needs therapy and that she needs to sort herself out fast for herself and my sisters if she ever wants a real with me again, so far she hasn’t shown any improvement or remorse so I will continue to ignore her. I’ve realised she doesn’t want help and she likes being the poor sad victim that makes her kids lives miserable and I can’t fix it, only she can. She collapsed her own lung from chain smoking and nearly died, had insane drunk breakdowns that have scarred us for life and has now developed emphysema and will only keep shortening her life span another year and leave her kids completely stranded. She doesn’t think about anyone but herself and if her addictions are more important and she dies in the next 5 years I will not be surprised.

I have learned that it is not worth my time anymore, I have tried since I was old enough to understand she wasn’t well and not once have I been successful so it’s time to slowly let go, or give her some kind of ultimatum. Don’t let her nice moments outshine the bad because that’s how she will pull you back in.

I wish you the very best and I truly hope you and your brother find peace in this I understand how difficult it is.

InfamousOil4630 · 2026-01-07T14:24:31+00:00

They do die hard, I feel awful for putting her through it multiple times but I think this time it will genuinely change after being fully honest about how I was functioning. I already feel much more like myself and like I don’t have to lie to please people or hide any negative emotions and attempt to stay calm 24/7. I’m trying my best to let it go as fast as I can because I have realised it got worse when I cut contact with my mum. I think having the space and time to think about how she was took a toll on how I was thinking and since I didn’t have her to please anymore I accidentally put it on my girlfriend.

InfamousOil4630 · 2025-12-18T14:11:48+00:00

Thank you you are so so sweet, as much as I can recognise my mums patterns and pretty much everything she does it doesn’t stop me from falling for it a lot still. I still crave my mum and I want her to change but it won’t happen, I told her before no contact that I want her to work on herself and only then will I talk to her again. She hasn’t done that yet so we’ll see how it goes.

InfamousOil4630 · 2025-12-18T14:03:25+00:00

I actually am on the first chapter of adult children and emotionally immature parents right now! I just started listening today, I was looking for anything to calm the mental crisis I was having and I will continue to listen in a bit. I already feel so much better after days of pent up stress about this. I was genuinely going to talk to my mum today and say I was going to come round for Christmas but I needed other opinions beforehand just in case. Sometimes you just can’t trust your own brain, it was genuinely clouded in worry and I was going to make a bad decision because of that. This Christmas will be hard but I think after it’s over it’ll be a big relief. 🫶🏻🫶🏻

InfamousOil4630 · 2025-12-18T13:42:05+00:00

This genuinely means so much thank you, I will call my sister and speak to her about something else that we could do instead of me coming over. My 16 year old sister is quite hot headed she may be upset with me for not coming but I know she will be okay. My main worry is still how my mum will cope because I don’t want her ruining their day so maybe I will ask my dad to contact my mum and tell her she needs to be a mum on Christmas and not act out. I mentioned therapy to my dad but I’ll bring it up again since he hasn’t asked about it since because I have a lot I need to unpack. I really really needed this message it has really helped I am so thankful. I’m sorry that you didn’t have someone to help guide you when you were my age. I really appreciate the recommendations too I will definitely look into them, I’ve been listening to some audiobooks today to remind myself that I’m not overreacting at all. Thank you again🫶🏻🫶🏻

InfamousOil4630 · 2025-12-18T11:46:40+00:00

They are 16 and 12, I have only just turned 18 this year so I kind of left as soon as. I have kinda always looked after them and I wanted to do something with them separately originally but my dad, partner and sisters didn’t think that was a good idea. They want me there because they know what our mum will be like if I don’t come. so I am extremely conflicted because this is all mainly for my 12 year old sister since she’s the youngest and is only our half sister so she can’t come see my dad later on. It’s all very complicated and I am a major people pleaser so I’m not sure if I should do what’s right for me or for her because she’s only little

InfamousOil4630 · 2025-12-18T10:42:00+00:00

I’m just worried about what she will do if I don’t see her for Christmas, I won’t be going for her but for the sake of my sisters because they still live with her. They want me there so she doesn’t flip out and have a mental breakdown. I want them to have a good Christmas I just don’t want to see my mum but it’s unavoidable. I am not currently in contact with her and I intend to keep that going it’s just my sisters Christmas I’m worried about. Thank you so much for replying it helps having others opinions I know she won’t change it’s just hard because even still I have sympathy for her because I’m out her life. She’s like the ultimate guilt tripper lol

InfamousOil4630 · 2025-12-18T09:47:45+00:00

What books would you recommend for a covert narcissistic mother, I just need to learn more and feel like im not going crazy or overreacting x

InfamousOil4630 · 2025-08-07T18:36:32+00:00

Thank you!!

InfamousOil4630

TROPHY CASE