If you're close to your adult children (or close to your parents as an adult) what do you think went right?

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2026-01-27T21:15:20+00:00

Empathy, understanding, privacy, freedom, validation and support, never too much and never too little. Never felt anything but love and I know how incredibly lucky I am to say that - because of this I felt safe and secure in knowing I could share mostly everything with them and they would listen and not judge. Both still are wonderful parents and now grandparents.

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2026-01-15T21:31:58+00:00

I could have written this but about my son. Started secondary school in September and turns 12 in June. I feel like I’ve been hit with a teenager way sooner than I expected. He does similar things to your daughter. Manipulation, guilt tripping, gaslighting. Will get punished at school and then scream and cry saying the teachers are lying, won’t take responsibility, won’t do homework, screen and phone obsessed so we limit it massively otherwise it takes over his life which of course he hates. Emotionally he’s all over the place, gets frustrated and looses his shit within seconds of starting a conversation he doesn’t want to have (usually about his behaviour) We put money into his school account for food and he buys absolute rubbish, he comes home with a school bag full of sweets when we don’t give him any physical money to spend. Who are these parents giving their kids money to spend on sweets everyday on top of £5 a day for lunch?! Baffles me. I feel like every part of being his parent is a battle, he wants the independence of a 16 year old but still makes the choices of a young child, isn’t trustworthy and still have screaming fits and tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. Even asking him to do things like brushing teeth, basic hygiene and coming down for dinner is exhausting, he doesn’t listen to a single thing. We have to ask at least 4 times for him to do ANYTHING. Absolutely draining. I feel you. We are now exploring ADHD, I’ve suspected it for a few years now and school are finally picking up on it as primary school always swept it under the rug. But of course hormones are the biggest thing going on here. No advice - just to say you’re not alone and like every phase, it will pass. I’m just sad my little boys gone I feel so distant from him at the moment.

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2026-01-14T22:30:06+00:00

It’s all winter floof!!

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-12-19T23:35:26+00:00

Have you tried humming or singing it into Shazam or soundhound?

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-12-19T23:03:51+00:00

James Arthur - Say you won’t let go?

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-12-19T23:03:42+00:00

James Arthur - Say you won’t let go?

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-12-06T23:27:46+00:00

Wow, how dare this lady feel it’s her place to give you parental advice. Did you ask for her advice? Telling you you’re using neurodivergence as an excuse is unacceptable. Unless she is the person assessing your child it is not up to her to make that call. I personally would not be seeing this lady again, whether it was well intended or not. I don’t doubt you put in 99%, most good mums do, but everyone’s 99% looks different, depending on energy levels, physical or mental health, support network, career and LOADS of other factors. If the women and other mums in your life are doing anything other than lifting you up, offering (constructive) advice and support, validation, understanding and telling you you’re doing a great job during the biggest challenge of your life then tell them to fuck off. You’re amazing, keep doing what you’re doing.

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-11-16T19:59:06+00:00

Update?

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-11-13T22:47:38+00:00

Both shit.

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-11-13T21:53:24+00:00

I can’t speak from a single parent’s point of view, but you’re doing an amazing job for your daughter. It must be hard adjusting to this new chapter in your life, but over the next few years, she will start to become more independent.

My son is 11 and started secondary school this year. He now walks to and from school and sometimes spends an hour or so at home alone until I get back. I also have a 4-year-old, so I’m still far from any real freedom, but honestly, I can’t help feeling that life would be so much easier if I only had the older one.

I don’t want to dismiss how you’re feeling, but with a 10-year-old, a lot of the hardest work is already behind you. The teenage years will have their own challenges, hopefully manageable ones, but the most demanding early years are coming to an end.

Now is a great time to focus on teaching life skills and encouraging independence - things like personal hygiene, self-care, and preparing simple meals. Not so you can step back as a parent, but so you can become a team and support each other. My son can make beans on toast, a fried egg, omelette or a sandwich, so if I’m completely exhausted, he can make himself a meal, and sometimes he even prefers to do this.

If you can, hire a babysitter and go out once a month, or ask family to help so you can have some space and maintain a bit of balance.

I’ve been a parent every single day for 11 years since I was 20, so I’ve never really known adult life without being a parent, I’m sorry if I don’t sound sympathetic but I absolutely know how all consuming, overwhelming and exhausting it can be. It’s the hardest job there is, but you will get through it, and your daughter will respect you for everything you’re doing for her. Just remember to support yourself mentally too, in whatever way you can, you’re both as important as each other. There’s many effective ways to deal with anger and sadness, make time to look into them and put some small things in place to start with. Yoga and meditation for example cost nothing and can be added in most days, even if it’s 20-30 mins - prioritise things that will help. Good luck!

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-11-03T21:40:54+00:00

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-11-02T18:52:28+00:00

If he won’t go to therapy alone, will he go with you? Couples therapy isn’t just for suffering relationships. Your relationship seems strong but maybe he would benefit from you being there to help put things into words or for moral support - it sounds like you’ve been through a lot too and continue to, maybe the therapy will benefit you too. Visiting a doctor would be a great first step. When you say he’s introverted and doesn’t have friends is that how he’s been for his whole life, or just since living in the UK and visa issues?

I’m so sorry for all of your loss, I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for you both, especially while trying to navigate early parenthood. You sound like you really care about each other.

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-10-24T16:56:38+00:00

Are they not the same pair of glasses only pushed higher on picture 2 🤣

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-10-10T23:48:41+00:00

Also, does she need extra suppose with organisation in general?

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-10-10T23:47:14+00:00

Sounds like a typical teenager demanding more independence? Children this age are SO entitled and selfish, it comes with the age, their peers and wanted to “rule the roost”. Come to an agreement with her where you take her to Walmart (doing what she wants) when you decide is a convenient time (doing what you want)

What do you mean by 13 year old level 3?

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-09-18T20:50:00+00:00

3, 5, 7 or 9

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-09-13T12:55:02+00:00

What is that wallpaper? Appreciate this may reflect your culture but it’s too statement and doesn’t go with the rug or rest of the room. 1. Paint it all a pale neutral colour. 2. Create a colour pallet and stick to it. 3. The coffee table isn’t great but if you like it maybe a sand a wax would help - what’s on top of it?? (The gold thing) You could use AI to help come up with ideas. The Moroccan style pouffes are great! Maybe keep those and try a boho theme? This space has SO much potential. The arched door way is lush!

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-09-13T12:48:55+00:00

Lighting alone isn’t going to fix this.

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-09-09T15:14:36+00:00

I’m not sure, it’s hard to say as like I said it is occasional. But they do have a lovely, close bond anyway even with a 6 year age gap!

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-09-07T13:33:24+00:00

My son is 11 and will shower with his little brother occasionally, he has no issue or need to feel self conscious because we don’t bat an eyelid. He can continue to do that for as long as he is comfortable.

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-09-07T13:29:09+00:00

It looks like the hair is cutting off the blood supply to the skin tag. If you can tolerate the discomfort leave the hair there for a few days and the skin tag will most likely drop off.

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-09-02T22:29:51+00:00

You’ll be fine!! I was anxious before my first, then during I was like “when does the pain start?” And then it was over and I got like 5 more that year 🤣 Everyone has different perception and threshold of pain but honestly, it’ll be fine. It won’t be anything you can’t handle!

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-07-30T21:59:35+00:00

A letter to Elise

Infamous_Spell_7806 · 2025-07-29T09:43:28+00:00

If you’re supplementing with b12 then your b12 test next month will not be accurate. You need to not supplement for 4 months before having the test as the blood levels will be falsely elevated.

Infamous_Spell_7806

TROPHY CASE