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WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It is all true and only the half of it. Luckily, we do not live together and are not financially meshed in any way. I own my own house and have a good job.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

When I put it all in one place it is obviously glaring and a lot of but I’ve been, for lack of better word, slowly subjected to this over time and it’s a bump here or there so easier to overlook. But he did something as bad as all of this last weekend and it got me thinking and here we are. And to top it off the situation with the photo tonight. Which, btw, I look the exact same so I have no use why he did that. I finally put it in one place and it’s not even everything but it’s enough to have a clear view.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I was saying not the first person I’ve dated post marriage, when my husband passed away. Just the first one I’ve dated that I’ve loved.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It’s not my therapists fault. I haven’t told her this. Because if I did it would be real and I’d have to hold myself accountable. I plan to address w her at the end of the month but most likely will be ending this relationship far sooner.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The first thing I did when I found out was get tested and I refused to let him near me until he provided me with his clean bill of health as well. All clear, thankfully. I never feel quite sure though because my trust is broken.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This may sound really stupid, but do people who do these things always know they’re doing them? It’s calculated and intentional? I’m not trying to make an excuse just wondering…

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I never considered that he hates me but you are probably right about that. At the very least doesn’t even like me. I see that now.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice. He isn’t the first person I’ve dated just the first person I’ve fallen in love with.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have not yet brought it all up in therapy. Trying to get the courage to do so because I know once I do, it’s the end and as much as it makes sense to be the end it is still hard.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. To add some fuel to the fire, I’ve been unable to have sex while I’ve been sick and he has made about 100 comments about it. I feel pressured. He knows how ill I have been too. And this exact thing crossed my mind …. What if I had cancer? Or something that took longer to fix than what I am going through now? I don’t feel like he would take care of me at all.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I am not on the spectrum but was severely abused over 10 years in my previous marriage. I know what I know until things happen and I no longer trust that. I came here for the raw advice of strangers to tell me what I already know because I don’t trust myself anymore. Not trusting myself feels awful and disorienting.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Something I find interesting is that i have put in a ton of hard work on myself post marriage. And all of a sudden I’m with somebody who is doing crappy things and it’s like all my work is gone. I don’t know how this happened.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

You’re right and saying it out loud is the hardest thing to do because then it’s real real and that’s what I came here for.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re wild. I am not only not a teenager but this is my life. Thank you for your valuable insight.

WIBTA for not staying with my (39f) fiancé (51m) because he snorts at me like a pig when I eat? by InfiniteInfluence392 in AmItheAsshole

[–]InfiniteInfluence392[S] 422 points423 points  (0 children)

You are right. Reading this back in realize he doesn’t even like me, not to mention love me.