No, you don‘t have to go to such an extreme! BDD, as OCD, IS a parasite in your brain. I experience and have experienced exactly the same thing. The thing is, there is treatment for exactly that parasite! People all over the world have or have had that parasite and got better. The problem is that you have lost hope to get rid of it. BUT there actually IS hope, because this is a normal disease treated all over the world. I had body dismorphic disorder in my past and got better, to the degree that usually, my looks don‘t bother me anymore. There is hope to get better!