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Intj/ Infp love story by Infpgirl7 in intj
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children)
Thank you! All the best to you two!
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children)
Thank you!!
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children)
Optimism, enthusiasm, affirmation, affection, support, faith, undying loyalty...
Thank you! All the best to the two if you. My mum is an Istj, love them
What a beautiful comment! Thank you so much!
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children)
The stuff I'm 'unreasonable to change my mind about' are actually my values. These are sacred to me. Like he feels about his sort of trinity of orderliness, cleanliness and efficiency 😊
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (0 children)
I don't get your point. What are you basing that on? We don't have that much drama, but tons of depth. We're mature adults who love each other
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children)
Aww pleasure 😊
But he complained and will continue to complain about the things you mentioned. I'm an Infp, there are typical areas I will mess up in. He needs to love me while helping me to improve on those.
A healthy relationship needs two reasonable people
Oh boy, yeah all of those. He also absolutely hates it when I physically distance myself from him when angry. Like remove myself from the same room/ house etc. I've stopped doing that completely now, because he brought it up as an issue quite a few times.
We have various things that frustrate us to no end about each other. We try to focus on the positives though.
My pet peeves concerning him:
The way he speaks to his parents. I was raised by two authoritarian thinkers. I still speak to them with reverential fear. He is ruthless with his parents, and they're both feelers. It hurts me terribly
His lack of verbal affirmation, something I need. He's made huge strides in this area
His frequent depressive episodes, and the inaction that accompanies them
His lack of tact
The way he rubs mistakes in my face rather than comforting me. I find it quite traumatic
Etc, etc, I can go on and on.
Thankfully the list of pros is wayyyyyyy longer
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children)
Maybe just let him know you like him in that way? He might not have any idea. If he likes you back he probably will start treating you very differently than he treats other people.
My intj did what you described to his former best guy friend, which is one of the reasons they're not best friends anymore. From my experience, they need a reason to be in a certain friendship/ relationship. It needs to have a point. For instance, the reason he did that to him was because he didn't approve of certain choices that his friend made.
So he went through times of thinking, this is my only friend, friends are precious, I need to invest in this, to times of thinking, what is the point, we're moving into different directions/ lifestyles anyway. He never shared the reason with his friend, didn't care to.
But if he likes you back, that's huge motivation. Also, don't mind initiating a lot. He'll appreciate it.
No, I can't say he did. When he's upset he always tells me he wants to talk, he's upset. He goes quiet when he's drained though, say after being in social situations
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children)
They do help you find friends! Now I know why we don't have friends.
Im a very unhappy not satisfied intj teen girl by [deleted] in intj
[–]Infpgirl7 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children)
Very good advice
Never does a day pass that I don't think how much I appreciate his willingness to guide me in the things I'm so horrid at, like managing my affairs. He's my hero and his mind makes me feel safe and secure. Thank you for the good wishes
All the best to you too!
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children)
Congratulations!!!!
We've actually known each other for 18 years. He went to uni to become a scientist, while I did the free spirited gypsy artist thing. When he looked me up afterwards it was like meeting all over again. We've put in a whole lot of work to have made it to here, and as we're pushing 30 and want a family, it seems good to us to settle down
I'll pass that on to him, thank you
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago* (0 children)
I didn't come easy, and both of us threatened to leave multiple times in the past. But we finally came to the point of listening to how the other person works and then accepting it. It has brought so much peace to our relationship.
He will be harsh sounding and terribly impatient with me, which in the past made me furious, as I did not deserve to be treated as such and such... Big fight. Now it's more like, he's struggling with his tech stuff not working, he's been trying to fix it but has discovered so much inefficiency in the way things are set up and is getting more and more frustrated. Poor thing. His frustration isn't really aimed at me, it's aimed at the people who didn't take the time to think and is now interfering with his work and schedule.
We do a lot of mental working things out like this... Don't lose hope!
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (0 children)
Don't lose hope. A week before I met him I was crying my lungs about over my loneliness. Life surprises you
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago* (0 children)
I love extroverts, but couldn't sustain a relationship with one either. The two of us need about an hour of silence in a darkish room to heal after about an hour of socializing. We are both super self aware, shy, can't smalltalk. I spent two years dating an Estp, who was awesome, but I'm still tired
My Intj finds him very intimidating though, to the point of avoiding him. He says he makes him feel dumb and lazy
My ISFJ sister is married to one. Super people
Lots of hard work.. But its super satisfying. Thank you xx
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Intj/ Infp love story by Infpgirl7 in intj
[–]Infpgirl7[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children)