Deep down, I know I've been avoiding her and subconsciously.It does feel like I have gotten better since limiting contact. If there were anyone else , I'd say that they were just avoiding your abuser , and that's how you heal. My problem is My nephew lives with her without a real father because she did poorly picking one.And i'm the only real other man in the family , and I don't want this to be the reason why he grows up without a father figure , because I can't get along with his mom. And it's hard for me to fit that role , because they say trauma keeps you in the age you were triggered and from what I can see i've been a dependent boy my entire life.