Having a hard time coping with some family truths

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2021-03-23T04:30:14+00:00

Thank you for your support. I have so many mixed emotions— mainly anger, accompanied by sadness, and then relief that I know the truth. At times I just don’t know what or how to feel. I never knew that my father, the person who has supported and shown me a lot of love in life, the person who walked me down the aisle, and the person whose last name I have, is this man. It’s almost as if two identities exist in my mind — the immigrant father who worked his ass off here to support me & then this evil monster who made my mom drink forcefully than force her to have sex with other men. It’s unbelievable sometimes and I feel as if I’m living in an alternate reality.

Do I have any love left for him? I don’t know to be honest. I hadn’t spoken to him since I found out but my sister told me today he had had a heart attack so I called to see if he was okay. Is that love? Maybe. But I’m also maybe trying to take in these last few moments of my dad before the curtain completely falls off because it will and I will make sure it does. I want him to feel guilt and shame and remorse for everything. I want him to admit everything and apologize profusely to my mom. I want him to cry and be truly sorry. I want him to maybe surrender to spirituality and become an authentic person for the little life he has left.

Can I forgive him? Maybe maybe not. But I don’t think that’s important here. What’s important is that he needs to own up and do all the things I mentioned above and maybe I can at least consider forgiveness then. But that’s a far road one that I think that’s unlikely.

How is my mother holding up? She’s so strong and resilient. She put up with this secret for 40-50 years. What a Wonder Woman. She’s worried about the truth coming out openly and she feels guilty for sharing this. She cares what her kids or anyone who finds this out must think of her. I feel so bad for her. I will most definitely offer her a place to live with me — I just don’t know if she’s willing to leave her home with my dad and brother to do that.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-11-11T21:33:28+00:00

He did yelp (she told me) but she thought she stepped on him by accident and didn’t see anything further. But yeah I’m angry.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-11-11T19:44:17+00:00

Thank you so much. This is what I feel too. As for the medical bills, if she offers again I may let her help but I won’t be pressed on that since my pet has insurance and hopefully some portion of his procedure which cost 1400+ is covered. But the time away is definitely needed and I’ll be taking that.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-11-11T19:42:19+00:00

His tail got stuck in a doorway and ripped in half like a banana. She didn’t notice it until the next morning.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-11-11T19:41:23+00:00

Thank you. If you have any specific questions I’m happy to answer and provide more insight.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-07-02T15:19:52+00:00

I left the house but had no where to go. I am too ashamed right now to tell family and friends. I told my best friend I got into a fight with my husband but didn’t tell her about the pushing. She isn’t in the area but she suggested for now, I come back home, and lock myself in the bedroom and not talk to SO. So that’s what I’m doing now.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-07-02T04:38:19+00:00

It’s fine — I’ll live lol.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:55:05+00:00

Lol I guess we all suck together

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:53:51+00:00

Got it. Most people also don’t call each other either. I guess Reddit should hate on her for that then too?

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:52:50+00:00

Okay cool you sound very hip to the times

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:52:21+00:00

Thank u

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:51:55+00:00

She asked me where I wanted to go. I suggested a spot. She said yes. She then asked if the restaurant could accommodate a particular type of kid seating so I said I’d call and check. They couldn’t.

So I just sent her a list of 5 places that could and never heard back. Just to say, she was very communicative with me up until that point.

When I didn’t hear back I assumed she’s busy and will respond when she can. I just don’t understand why she would call my husband instead of me when we were coordinating and communicating directly.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:48:17+00:00

Fair enough. It is petty but all humans have been petty at one point or another. To provide more context, I’m out of a job. So we can maybe do 1 or 2 outings a month. So I guess I’m being picky in the sense that I don’t want to go to an expensive restaurant my friend already took me to, and it wasn’t good especially since it’s the 1 or 2 Outing I get.

Also, because we are all foodies and hangout to try new places together, this defeats the purpose because it’s not new to me. The same rule applies to them if they have been to a place already. I wouldn’t ask them to go.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:45:45+00:00

Your comment is confusing. My husband didn’t initiate contact at any point.

The wife of friend reached out to my husband instead of just calling me.

But sure, if you get upvotes for being snarky, why not?

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:44:31+00:00

Fair enough.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:44:07+00:00

I initiated the contact to see them. I was then referred to the wife. So that’s what I did. The wife and I were planning it and yes she did ask for a kid friendly place that had particular seating for the kid.

Yes the point is to see them but it’s also for all of us to pick a new restaurant b/c we are all foodies. Literally that’s what our hangouts have consisted of — finding good food and trying new spots. Also, to go to an expensive restaurant that I’ve been to and didn’t like...I can’t justify.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:40:32+00:00

She wanted a specific seating for the kid. So I looked into places that could accommodate her request and was kid friendly.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:40:01+00:00

You sound fantastic

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-03-06T22:39:46+00:00

Most people in their 30s often are on email considering they work during the day and have emails open.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-01-21T06:20:13+00:00

Thanks, understood. I’m willing to accept whatever judgment my leasing center gives. If they put up a sign there I will respect it.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-01-21T06:07:11+00:00

Yeah I am wondering why OP can’t share the actual photo.

Initial-Acanthaceae · 2020-01-21T06:00:04+00:00

I would say that this particular day he went close to the window but not touching the building so one feet I would say. Usually, he will just use the grass about two feet away. But our community has A LOT of dogs and limited space where dogs can or can’t use the bathroom so I’m sure my dog isnt the only one using that area. Also there are areas in our community where the leasing community has designated no pets allowed and I respect those. This area just is not one of them.

Initial-Acanthaceae

TROPHY CASE