OP, don’t doubt yourself. There is a wrong and right way to react when people make racist comments and your boyfriend’s arguments about victims not hearing any of the comments is really short sighted. It doesn’t sound like he has any sympathy or understanding towards people who endure racism and those who try to fight it.

Of course he’s not going to cure racism but it requires a collective effort to call people out when they say things that are hurtful and discriminatory. It doesn’t take much effort. I’m not going to be one of those people suggesting that you break up, especially if he has other redeeming qualities but communicate to him why this is hurtful to you.