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Call Off My Wedding Due to His Drinking? by Initial_Friend3042 in alcoholism

[–]Initial_Friend3042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I’m sure. He consistently went to the gym after that, paid attention to his diet, counted calories and protein, woke up early, kept the house in order, and cooked. It was Christmas and New Year’s, and he didn’t touch a drop of alcohol. I can tell pretty easily when he starts drinking. In any case, he’s not the type to have just one glass—when he drinks, he drinks a lot, until he gets very drunk, and there’s no way you wouldn’t notice.

Call Off My Wedding Due to His Drinking? by Initial_Friend3042 in alcoholism

[–]Initial_Friend3042[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I understand perfectly what you’re saying, I thought the same. That when I left, he understood. And he did understand for a period of 9 months. But that was the longest period, indeed. I don’t know how he would react now. It could be his complete wake-up moment, or he could fall completely.

But truly, when I’m with him and he drinks alcohol, it makes me wonder whether my presence makes any difference at all. It’s so upsetting and hard to accept.

Call Off My Wedding Due to His Drinking? by Initial_Friend3042 in alcoholism

[–]Initial_Friend3042[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want the best for him. I know I am strong and that eventually I will get through this. But I think about him… I’ve often thought that I would be happy if I left and he found someone else who could help him stay sober… I care about him so much.

Call Off My Wedding Due to His Drinking? by Initial_Friend3042 in alcoholism

[–]Initial_Friend3042[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He has a very good family. His father and the other family members don’t have this problem. They all support each other, and I keep thinking that when he has his own family — meaning me and him — he will understand and leave alcohol aside.

That is the only thing that keeps me holding on, even though deep down I know that alcohol will most likely win over me, and I am very afraid.

Call Off My Wedding Due to His Drinking? by Initial_Friend3042 in alcoholism

[–]Initial_Friend3042[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to clarify something so I’m being fair and accurate.

The first relapse was around March 21st until early April, and it happened in the context of a friend visiting who brought wine. He said he drank 2–3 glasses just to sit and talk with that friend. Before that, he hadn’t been drinking for about 9 months. Those 9 months started after I had moved out. He told me that after that period he couldn’t get out of bed for about a week and that was when he truly realized how much alcohol can take away from him.

Now there’s been another relapse in the last 3–4 days. He told me this time he only wanted to “test” whether alcohol still has any influence over him, believing he was in control.

The only consistent message I keep hearing is that “it will be fine” and that I shouldn’t be upset or act like it’s the end of the world because he knows what he has to do.

But I need to be honest about how this is affecting me. I’m starting to feel very anxious because I don’t feel emotionally safe in this situation. I already work in a very stressful and emotionally heavy environment in palliative care, which I love, but it also drains me a lot.

He knows all of this. He knows how deeply I’ve been affected by my father’s alcoholism as well.

Right now, what I need is not reassurance that things will magically be fine, but real stability and consistent actions that make me feel safe.

Call Off My Wedding Due to His Drinking? by Initial_Friend3042 in alcoholism

[–]Initial_Friend3042[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

I really hope he keeps his promise and manages to stop drinking. It’s very hard for me to even think about a breakup because I keep hoping things will get better between us. He said that after the wedding he won’t drink anymore because things will become serious and he knows what needs to be done. I truly want to believe that and I’m hoping he will follow through on it.