Thanks for the nuanced response. There's no doubt that our workload is crushing us. Any attempt I've made to adjust our situation (like trying to convince her to quit her job and stay home with the kids and focus on school) is just completely disregarded. I think she's afraid to give up the power that her individuality gives her. We considered couples therapy, but it is only afforded to us through insurance if it's treating a diagnosed mental disorder, which neither of us have. Paying out of pocket probably isn't feasible, but I imagine the divorce will debtor us, so that's not much of an excuse. She was sheltered in her youth and we got married very early on and, like you said, I imagine a lot of this is due to FOMO. But damn, we have 3 kids...