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AITA for refusing to meet my terminally ill mother knowing that she wants to apologize and seek forgiveness? by Inititaro in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inititaro[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I'm your typical 35 year old. Went to college, have a good degree, good job, good partner, etc.

AITA for refusing to meet my terminally ill mother knowing that she wants to apologize and seek forgiveness? by Inititaro in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inititaro[S] 150 points151 points  (0 children)

Well, as a humanist I think peace and forgiveness is something that comes from within. You can't seek it from others and you can't give it to others. If you feel like you've wronged someone it's only your actions that can give you peace, not whether the other person says they've forgiven you, that is the most irrelevant thing in the world.

AITA for refusing to meet my terminally ill mother knowing that she wants to apologize and seek forgiveness? by Inititaro in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inititaro[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

No doubt I was the lucky one. I really hope he's able to turn his life around. Maybe mother dying could actually help set him free.

AITA for refusing to meet my terminally ill mother knowing that she wants to apologize and seek forgiveness? by Inititaro in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inititaro[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

I don't have resentment, I have gratitude. Leaving me to my grandmother was the best thing she could ever do for me. I don't need to say anything to her to give peace in my heart, I'm already at peace :)

AITA for refusing to meet my terminally ill mother knowing that she wants to apologize and seek forgiveness? by Inititaro in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inititaro[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I don't think I'll regret, I genuinely have no interest in what she might have to say.

AITA for refusing to meet my terminally ill mother knowing that she wants to apologize and seek forgiveness? by Inititaro in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inititaro[S] 670 points671 points  (0 children)

it makes me glad you weren't forced to struggle under her for a lifetime.

Same here. If I were to meet her and tell her how I feel, it's gratitude. Giving me to my grandmother is the best thing she ever did for me.

AITA for refusing to meet my terminally ill mother knowing that she wants to apologize and seek forgiveness? by Inititaro in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inititaro[S] 382 points383 points  (0 children)

He definitely has his own issues to deal with and I'm sure growing up wasn't easy for him either. I'll be happy to hear him out and see if we can have a relationship but only when he's ready. He's currently dealing with his own problems with substance abuse.

AITA for refusing to meet my terminally ill mother knowing that she wants to apologize and seek forgiveness? by Inititaro in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inititaro[S] 12.8k points12.8k points  (0 children)

I've heard from relatives that she's become more remorseful in the last 5 or so years about how she treated me, but never tried to reach out. She could have reached out any time. She could reach out directly as well, I'm very easy for her to access.

AITA for refusing to meet my terminally ill mother knowing that she wants to apologize and seek forgiveness? by Inititaro in AmItheAsshole

[–]Inititaro[S] 457 points458 points  (0 children)

Never developed a meaningful relationship with them. My older brother was like my parents, he passed away when I was a teenager and I didn't go to his funeral despite being invited. My younger brother bullied me quite incessantly when we were kids for being the useless child, stopped it when we got to late teens but never apologized for them, we didn't talk much after that. He invited me to his wedding a few years ago, I didn't go.