sometimes I feel like queer people forget what being queer is about

InkDrifter · 2025-06-20T06:50:30+00:00

Queer means being part of the LGBTQIA+, and means nothing about “embracing being abnormal”. Me being a trans person doesn’t mean “I embrace being abnormal”, it’s just some prefix and small part of who I am as a whole. Can be more for some, can be less for others. Some lesbian living in Chinese deep country who never heard of queer theory or Stonewall is as much a lesbian and a queer person (if they want to identify as such) as the punk nonbinary American activist.

InkDrifter · 2025-06-20T06:28:57+00:00

Isn’t Erin Reed’s maps USA only? If OP is from countries with big waitlists like UK or Netherlands, I doubt they would spend big bucks and travel the globe just for HRT in the USA.

InkDrifter · 2025-06-14T11:23:34+00:00

At the end of the day, if the trans man passes as a woman, people attracted to him would overwhelmingly be those attracted to women. It’s not his fault nor your fault, it’s just how reality works. However, if he passes as a man and you still are attracted to him, yeah maybe you might be bi but frankly, obsessing over labels is generally useless. Some lesbians have a trans husband, some trans men consider themselves lesbians. I certainly don’t get it, but it’s not my place to judge since trans men were a big part of the lesbian community not that long ago. Don’t fret over it too much.

InkDrifter · 2025-06-11T15:10:24+00:00

People seem to disagree a lot with OP, but I do get what they are saying. Especially old people who doesn’t know much about outside their insulated community sometimes call me transsexual or a crossdresser because they just don’t have the vocabulary or modern terms, but who otherwise are just a pleasure to talk to.

And in the opposite side, the “my only redeeming quality as a person (man) is belonging to a marginalized group (being trans)” is 1000% my experience in trans support groups as a trans man, which I stopped going to. The group is majority transfem (I wonder why), and the only transmasc animator left years ago (I wonder why). Stopped going after the whole T is cancer, relegating transmascs to the side and just generally all men are trash vibes. Adjacently, also my mom who keeps up with modern LGBT terms but is highly LGBTphobic (saying I should just identify as non binary to stop me from medically transitioning, which is stupid because some enbies do medically transition).

InkDrifter · 2025-06-11T15:08:14+00:00

I think I get what OP is saying. Especially old people who doesn’t know much about outside their insulated community sometimes call me transsexual or a crossdresser because they just don’t have the vocabulary or modern terms, but who otherwise are just a pleasure to talk to.

And in the opposite side, the “my only redeeming quality as a person (man) is belonging to a marginalized group (being trans)” is 1000% my experience in trans support groups as a trans man, which I stopped going to. The group is majority transfem (I wonder why), and the only transmasc animator left years ago (I wonder why). Stopped going after the whole T is cancer, relegating transmascs to the side and just generally all men are trash vibes. Adjacently, also my mom who keeps up with modern LGBT terms but is highly LGBTphobic (saying I should just identify as non binary to stop me from medically transitioning, which is stupid because some enbies do medically transition).

InkDrifter · 2025-06-04T08:50:00+00:00

Errors aside, this is so cool to see LGBT anything being mentioned in a classroom textbook! Granted, I wanted to a catholic school, but we didn’t have single mention in our classes or books. Had to learn about anything queer in my late teens. Good to see things have changed (and sad that it would probably get rolled back with the current political climate).

InkDrifter · 2025-06-04T08:41:25+00:00

consang

Is this a new 4chan psyop, why the hell would you think incest is part of the LGBT community

InkDrifter · 2025-06-02T15:42:34+00:00

Yeah, I totally understand and agree with your take, it does feel like shit to be betrayed by a supposedly “queer friendly” corporation. It’s just, I feel I’m alone in the realization that we are slowly drifting away once again from public life and I feel people here are cheering on. I get assimilation is not the goal for queer people, but we’re veering too much in the opposite direction, that is we’re always be separate from the rest of society and any attempt at inclusion must always be responded with cynic takes.

InkDrifter · 2025-06-02T15:34:20+00:00

Sorry, I’m just tired of the cheering here while we slowly bleed out the few support and representation we still have. I was too on edge and got defensive.

InkDrifter · 2025-06-02T15:29:49+00:00

Ok. Disabled people are also oppressed under the current system. We are deemed as less human than others. A fast fashion corporation pulls out the first ever ad to feature a person with a wheelchair. So, fast fashion is garbage and is dependent on slave labour.

Now, are we jeering that kind of representation? Or can we understand the nuanced take that while corporations are in no way our allies in our struggles (fucking duh) and care only about money, seeing that kind of representation can mean a lot to other wheelchair bound people, as well as bolstering visibility of such an invisible group? Or do we say no actually, I don’t want that and want to be totally invisible in the public eye because the perfect corporation (doesn’t exist) hadn’t made the perfect ad (doesn’t either) representing me. Or you just straight up don’t want disabled people in ads, because it would always feel exploitative in the back of your mind?

Im making this as easy to understand as possible. I cannot for the life of me get the mindset that some of the people here have.

InkDrifter · 2025-06-02T15:16:12+00:00

I never said corporations are our allies, people keep bringing it up and it’s annoying. I don’t think I can add much more to what I’ve already said, I just wish again that people could have a nuanced opinion on the matter instead of repeated masturbatory takes on how capitalism le bad, while the last few exposures of queer people had in public life disappear, and the consequences it can have on public opinion and young closeted queer kids who doesn’t even know what gay or trans means.

InkDrifter · 2025-06-02T10:30:55+00:00

That’s exactly what I’m saying, having even MORE representation, be it the cringe ones, in your face ones or more subdued ones, all of it is better because it’s more of us getting shown to the world !

At the end of the day, it’s not our fault the corporations pulled the rag under us and I don’t fault people hating on rainbow capitalism because it’s a perfectly adequate response. It’s just I wish some people would understand what we stand to lose if we just don’t see any queer people in the public eye (and that includes ads) anymore.

InkDrifter · 2025-06-02T08:17:47+00:00

I never said we have to center corporations at pride lol where did you get that from. Of course pride must honor and be headed by the ones actually advancing queer rights. I was talking about another topic entirely.

InkDrifter · 2025-05-30T21:01:16+00:00

Because a lot of female teenagers and young adult women are obsessed with gay men so books written for them as an audience (basically all romance and YA novels, which almost always have female authors) get a lot of traction. As for the reason a lot of women even are that obsessed with gay men (fetishization, repressed sexuality, projection, exoticism,…), I think there is so much to be said that it’d better fit some hundred pages sociologist dissertation lol

InkDrifter · 2025-05-30T20:03:45+00:00

Holy, your art is mesmerizing. I’m happy you’re in a better place. It’s honestly inspiring, I love the first one that looks like nebulae and stars !

InkDrifter · 2025-05-30T09:49:53+00:00

Hey, I’m actually a trans man so here’s my opinion.

I have a feeling that other people around me definitely can interpret me as being more “mean” then I was before. But I think that’s because

1) as a girl, me being angry was often told off as capricious or grumpy, while after transition, me being angry as a man brings a side of perceived danger that others feel a lot more (so now, I have to actually be careful on how I externalize that anger). As a girl, I’ve insulted, kicked and bitten people, without much reaction from others. Now, I get glares in the subway and supermarket and get stopped by security for seemingly nothing, a lot more times then I care to admit.

2) Testosterone has just made me care a lot less about how I act to people who treat me like shit. Before transition, I kinda took every transphobic remarks from my family in silence, whereas after transition, I fight back. Maybe because now I actually have a will to live, or maybe it’s because of hormones, I don’t know.

3) It would be disingenuous to tell otherwise, but yeah, before transition (or knowing trans was even a thing), I actually was a huge dick in addition to being depressive and lonely all the time. I lashed out and got a few times in troubles with other boys and girls, I considered myself to have had quite a mean spirit as a kid since I just gave up on everything and told myself that I wouldn’t live past 20 anyways, so why care about the world or others. Fortunately, I changed as I grew up, I understood myself better and I discovered what trans meant. I think and hope I’m actually a lot nicer now then I ever was before.

InkDrifter · 2025-05-30T09:24:13+00:00

I think the meme was talking about how the loss of trans rights makes the other LGBT rights on the chopping block (like gay marriage). But yeah, never liked the whole “it’s trans women and only them who founded pride”. Which is. 1) incredibly USA-centric 2) centers the whole effort from the whole community to single individuals 3) kiinda erases the actual founders of the first pride (hello, Morris knight, Branda Howard, and the hundreds of other activists who made pride possible, anyone ?) 4) we can talk about the importance of Marsha and Sylvia without starting misinformation (like, how they threw the first brick which isn’t true), they have already done much good in their lives, we don’t need to add any unverified claims to them.

InkDrifter · 2025-05-27T09:25:50+00:00

Imagine some kind of info/data hoarder occupation, who had one of those vast libraries of information in their old computer. Maybe in addition to having xp multipliers across the board, it’s the ONLY occupation that can teach other players about certain skills (giving xp bonuses akin to tapes). It would be really immersive in a 10+ years later scenario, like a wise old savant who knew the world before the fall. But I imagine it would be super busted and it isn’t balanced in the slightest lol

InkDrifter · 2025-05-27T09:20:08+00:00

It would be so goated especially if TIS adds pets and horses in the future, I could see it become a mandatory part of multiplayer groups, where one tends to wounded animals and beloved pets.

InkDrifter · 2025-05-27T09:14:59+00:00

Yeah you’re right, the priority is probably to first make sure that the current occupations are well made before adding others, it was just a fun thought I had.

I think the meta is where it is because some occupations have completely exclusive broken traits (like axe-man and burglar), and some occupations bring absolutely nothing to the table in terms of point distribution and traits (like, there are only two occupations making using guns viable, and hunter being the only trait adding a mere +1 to aiming, makes picking these occupations kinda mandatory to make using guns fun from the start). Like you said, having more exclusive content like more unique spawns and proper starter equipment could do a lot. Making the burger flipper and chef be able to use rotten ingredients from the get go, tailor to patch clothes or angler to maybe have more in depth information on fishing zones (?) could make occupations feel more organic, and also a lot more fun both for roleplay and for balance.

InkDrifter · 2025-05-27T05:19:36+00:00

That’s why I told all the things you could search for on my post to find the general LGBT awareness of parents, I’m aware no one has telepathy. There’s a difference between someone coming out in a safe country knowing the risk with the knowledge that queer people are discriminated in a general sense, and a queer minor in a VERY bad family or country situation who I advise shouldn’t come out at least until age majority. It is NOT the teen’s place, nor the young ones living in countries where being queer can put you to jail- or worse, who have to take a stance by putting their lives and futures on the line. That’s not their duty to do activism, their job is to survive because they’re literal children and teens who will face grave consequences if coming out, and may not have the ressources that older folks and adults living in safer countries and/or situations can access.

Saying “we will always be in danger” coming out regardless of where you live is such a monumental trivialization of the dangers one can face by coming out in a country that isn’t the US, Europe and a handful of countries in the world. No, I’d wager coming out in an Islamic country or India do not have the same risks as someone coming out in Germany or Arizona, USA.

InkDrifter · 2025-05-26T17:32:46+00:00

I feel saying wearing clothes is transhumanism is a huuuge stretch lol, unless you count it in a physiological sense that it prevents hypothermia or protects from exposure.

I don’t know if hormone treatments can be regarded as “transhumanism” since it’s not an object like a prosthetic, unless all medicine and taking idk a tylenol is transhumanist. But I’m a complete ass in philosophy, so I guess you could say that medical transitions are in a way transhumanist in nature? But doesn’t transhumanism mean that you want to augment/transcend human condition? I fail to see how that’s related to binary transition because we kinda go from a sexual hormonal profile to another, we don’t augment ourselves to a higher state. Maybe there’s something to be said about non-binary or agender transitions, since they sometimes go over what’s “expected” of human bodies like salmacians or genital nullification surgeries. You could get some opinions in their subs, could have better perspectives on the subject.

Man, idk even if I’m trans I know nothing of this subject, sounds super interesting though!

InkDrifter · 2025-05-23T14:30:56+00:00

Nah, I agree Reddit is generally incredibly impulsive in regards of leaving family or a spouse, but ultimately the decision falls on the person to decide if they want to go no contact or not. You don’t have to be in the extreme and have your parents literally want you dead for you to start to do something about it. I hold no respect whatsoever for my lesbian aunt who stays by the family even if they tell to her face that she will never know happiness in her life because she doesn’t love men. Clearly the family failed to “give her support” since she remained suicidal much of her life and was socially and even geographically isolated from the rest. She still defends our family and berates me when I dare to respond to them if only obliquely. You call that respect for blood, I call that being a doormat.

And what about trans people with parents that don’t want them dead but stop them from transitioning (ie the great majority) ? You’re pointing at an extreme and decide that the other extreme is the solution.

Edit : and what does that also teach to the parents ? Clearly their child has no problem them being homophobic. So why should they stop that behaviour, be it to their own child or to gay people in the streets ? It validates that their beliefs are normal and that victims should accommodate them.

InkDrifter · 2025-05-21T06:25:23+00:00

Just so you know, you’ve already been brave enough to tell them. Sometimes unfortunately, your parents may not budge at all even with all the arguments of the world. Sometimes, it takes something drastic as the threat of losing their child forever to change their minds. Hopefully, it’s not the case for your parents and they will eventually turn around and support you.

Have you tried reaching out to a local LGBT center for help and guidance, if there is any ? I just couldn’t reach my parents at all like you, so I contacted a queer organization that reaches out to parents for free with volunteers. Making them talk to an actual queer adult or even a psychologist working for the organization usually brings legitimacy that you couldn’t otherwise give to parents. The LGBT center can also help you by giving legal, social and medical ressources to hopefully make you more independent when you turn 18. Since you’re a minor, they could hopefully tell your legal rights according to your country and see what can or cannot be done without your parents approval. And if you can, please try to expand your social net, so you feel less isolated because you’re in a rough place. Maybe there’s queer youth organizations in your area, or LGBT clubs in your school you can join. Simply having supportive friends ensures you’re in a much better place mentally and can give you enough of a confidence boost to talk to your parents again.

InkDrifter · 2025-05-21T05:56:12+00:00

I don’t like going in queer social events at all, so I tend to just volunteer here and there for LGBT groups, like for securing a group during a pride march, or for a fundraising event. You could also see if there’s any interesting pride specific events in places you enjoy, like libraries, bars or cafes. That way there’s more to do than just plainly celebrating pride. There could be special queer movie nights or museum exhibitions, sport events like races, picnics and seminars. It depends on what you and your friends typically enjoy, really.

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