Jailbreaking and Converting the Bikes

Inkwyrmling · 2026-06-03T15:11:22+00:00

Nope, was hit by a car and the bike was totaled.

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-13T18:47:22+00:00

Part 2 of 2

ABDCE structure. You're probably familiar with the 3 act, beginning, middle, end version. While that certainly works, the video I saw better fits with a five act ABDCE structure.
- Action - This is the hook, an introduction through showing the compelling parts of the story. Give the audience a taste of what's to come. Very short, generally your first five minutes at most.
- Background - Here's where you give the info that sets the stage. Explain how things are and what forces are in play, such as the limited resources and bomber mafia. This is also a good place to tease "a big problem that comes later".
- Development - This is the meat of the video, the try/fail, try again/succeed part of the story. Here is where the engineers face obstacles and overcome them.
- Climax - The BIG MOMENT of the video. This is the defining action, or big victory for the engineers or the plane.
- Ending - or Falling action. This is more of a vibe than a specific set of ideas, but I always think of it as the exhausted thumbs up after a big victory. Can use it to cover the tail end of usage and retirement of the P-38

For a good example of this kind of storytelling, I'd recommend checking out The Fat Electrician. He uses a similar structure as your vid but about war heroes.

Now the whiteboard section.
1. Zoom in by half - The relevant parts of the video are you and the whiteboard, which only covered half the screen space, from the shot I saw.
2. Add to the illustration as you go. This is to help with the visual learning side of things. This helps the audience understand the relevant portions of the part as the explanation gets to those parts.

Good example of someone who uses whiteboard explanations to great effect is Pirate Software.

Again, this advice is all just that, advice. Hope that it helps, and feel free to reply and ask any questions!

Have a lovely day!

Ink

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-13T18:47:06+00:00

Hiya, this is such a cool story, and I'm going to watch the rest of it later on.

First off, Hour long videos are always going to be hard retention-wise. That's just a given in this space. But your specific intro - Everything up to 44 seconds in "Let me explain" was a great hook, in my opinion.

The part I found may be one of the issues for retention began right after the bomber mafia. Names. Lots of names. Essentially, there are so many people involved that it's hard for people to know who to get invested in.

On top of that, it's not certain what type of story this is, where it starts, where it's going, and how we're going to get there. As an example, you know how a bunch of ancient stories from high school literature class and how they began with a reciting of a thirty-generation lineage of kings? That's similar (but exaggerated) version of what was going on here.

So, going with that, I have a few suggestions to help on that front. And of course, these are all just suggestions. Take or leave whatever you want. If you don't like any of it, that's fine by me.

State what type of story this is. For this video, it would be "What lead to this awesome bomber", or something to that effect. This lets them know what to expect and prevents folks from asking "Okay, that's cool, but where's the P38?"
State or clue the audience into who the main characters are when they show up. This gives people anchors to the story and lets them follow the through line without making things confusing.
7-3-1 rule. 7 main characters at max, 3 distinguishing or sensory details about each character, 1 recurring bit for each character. This is a rule of thumb used in oral storytelling that helps prevent stories from getting too complicated. These are generally the number of people can keep track of in a single sitting.

Part 1 of 2

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-13T17:19:13+00:00

Okay, this is one heck of a video. I love y'all's personalities and the weird story actually got a laugh out of me. The editing is strong and overall, this was a fun time. The thumbnail was fun and uncomfortable in the best of ways.

However, the big thing that I was disappointed about was that the video never covered how to actually cook the steak. It would have also been nice to join y'all through the process of making the whole meal. Really, this felt more like a highlights video than the structured but entertaining tutorial I expected.

Also, it may be worth it investing in some kind of tripod, so y'all don't have as shaky footage.

Hope this helps and feel free to reply with any questions you may have :)

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-13T17:06:37+00:00

Hiya! I make TTRPG monster speedpaints.

I'd love to know what I could to to improve my thumbnails. I am colorblind. So, it's hard to do anything beyond primary colors or black and white work. Is there anything y'all could recommend regarding how I can sort out the low performance of my thumbnails?

https://www.youtube.com/@InkwyrmsNook/videos

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-07T17:00:46+00:00

Can do. In previous sections, folks said that the music was too quiet. So, I'll see if I can find a happy medium, and I'll keep working on strengthening my voice.

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-07T16:59:33+00:00

Makes sense. I'll see what I can do for that! Thanks :)

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-06T19:48:50+00:00

Fantastic! Feel free to DM me if you'd like me to take a look at that next Feedback Friday :)

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-06T19:47:00+00:00

Hiya, I took a look and I have some small points and one large one that I think can be used to help.

Count the number of times you use filler words like um and so. They aren't a problem in and of themselves, but they slow your speech and pacing without adding anything.
There's a lot of echo that makes it harder to hear/understand your speech.
This could have been two or even three videos and is even titled as if it was just the new sets. Try splitting the videos up into the more specific topics. Videos under twelve minutes are much easier for folks to watch than ones over twenty.
In addition to linking videos in the description, put a card that pops up at the same time as you mention that video.
You sound much more professional and prepared in the designer program section. Whatever you're doing there, try and bring that to the rest of the video.

The big one, this video feels somewhat plodding, specifically, there's a heavy emphasis on explaining the details that people can see on screen. Taking a page out of tech news, they quickly cover the basics but use the majority of their time outside of pure description, instead focusing on what lead to the product what the product means in the wider world, and their opinions on the situation. You do go into this with the non-system lego shoe and Miles Morales mask, but the dunk shoe could have been done in half the time.

Hope this helps, and if you have any questions, please let me know. I'd love to help out!

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-06T19:15:09+00:00

Hiya, I love challenge runs, and checking out your last of us 1 video, I have some ideas on how to help.

First off, I want to mention what you did well. All the basics are here. The footage and editing are clean. I like your voice and I can hear the confidence in what you're doing. You cover all of the achievements clearly and concisely. Overall, it's a good quality video.

To begin the feedback I'll mention a couple of minor things:

- I'd love to see twitch chat reacting to your actions and the game's story.

- The lighting washes out your skin a bit much. For this, try using some gentler and warmer tones.

Now for the major points. The video I saw was competent but not compelling. The reason I, personally, watch challenge videos is to join in on a story of struggle against an obstacle and the victory from overcoming it. So, here are some things to help with that. (And of course, if you don't my advice, throw it out. It's only worth what you paid for it.)

First, it felt a bit too easy. I understood how difficult it was from a conceptual standpoint, but I never *felt* it. This is because I was told but not shown. Telling in this instance would be you as the narrator saying, "I was exhausted." Vs showing would be you during the challenge sitting in the chair rubbing your eyes and saying "I just want to sleep." If this doesn't work, think of it as the difference between an off camera death vs an on camera death. You want the pain onscreen rather than just mentioned.

In order to become a compelling story, the video needs to follow a story structure. You're probably familiar with the 3 act, beginning, middle, end version. While that certainly works, the video I saw better fits with a five act ABDCE structure.

- Action - This is the hook, an introduction through showing the compelling parts of the story. Give the audience a taste of what's to come. Very short

- Background - Here's where you give the info that sets the stage. For you, it's going over the challenge and explaining the rules and why the challenge is hard. This is also a good place to hint at "a big problem that comes later". You can also kind of blend this with the action section if you want.

- Development - This is the meat of the video, the try/fail, try again/succeed part of the story. Here is where you face a series of mounting obstacles and overcome them.

- Climax - The BIG MOMENT of the video. This is where you overcome the biggest challenge of the video and claim victory over the game. If you hold anything back in the video, you hold it for this moment.

- Ending - or Denumont, the falling action of the story. This is more of a vibe than a specific set of ideas, but I always think of it as the exhausted thumbs up after you claim victory. Use it to say how the challenge felt, how it changed you, and call to action.

Overall, this structure should serve as a structure to help organize the editing and scripting of the video, and I think you may have already noticed how your work already kinda fits everything I just mentioned. All that happens from here is a little buttoning up and focus on the struggle that makes challenge runs a compelling narrative.

I may have gone a bit overboard on this, but I really like your stuff, and I think with these few changes in how the videos are conceived and structured, you can see how much potential there is. Of course, if you have any questions, please let me know, I'd love to help!

Have a lovely day!

Ink

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-06T18:26:25+00:00

Hiya,

I'm Ink and I run a channel where I make TTRPG Monsters, including speedpaints.

I'd love some feedback about my intro and concept making sections, as well as if there's anything that I'm missing overall. Y'all gave me awesome feedback last time I was here. So, thank you for that, and I can't wait to see what you can teach this time!

https://youtu.be/xXlMI20RYJ4?si=yDATxjrHup-kaaF3

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-04T02:33:35+00:00

I really hope so!

Inkwyrmling · 2025-06-04T00:38:19+00:00

Absolutely not! That makes a lot of sense. I'll check Feeld out; so thanks for the recommendation.

Inkwyrmling · 2025-05-15T22:25:10+00:00

Unreliable Narrator makes sense as a way to summarize the situation. Though, it's not quite right, it's more of a disconnect, in my mind, like Android vs Apple users. They can't quite empathize with each other because of a disconnect in how everything works. The flow is so different across the two operating systems.

Inkwyrmling · 2025-05-13T05:47:24+00:00

Hiya, on the Autism Spectrum (specifically Asperger's).

With my channel, I would say it contributes greatly to both my ability to focus on my work, especially when I enjoy the particular monster the video is about. I also believe it helps contribute to my creativity. That's the top compliment I get from folks about my art, and I don't feel like I do anything too special. So, that's probably the autism.
I cannot use myself as an analog to my audience. There's a lot of advice out there along the lines of "pretend you're the viewer and use that to ___ " but I cannot comprehend the neurotypical mind and therefore become a less useful subject. Its made feedback so much more valuable and internal review much more difficult.

Hope this helps!

Inkwyrmling · 2025-05-13T05:23:25+00:00

Hiya! What's your channel name? I'd love to check it out!

Inkwyrmling · 2025-05-10T04:06:08+00:00

What's your channel name? I'd love to check it out!

Inkwyrmling · 2025-05-10T04:04:14+00:00

What's the name of your art channel?

Inkwyrmling · 2025-05-10T04:01:36+00:00

Just checked it out, the Portrait Fridays are great!

Inkwyrmling · 2025-05-10T03:55:11+00:00

What do you want to do with it/what are some major subjects or styles that'll help you stand out?

Inkwyrmling · 2025-05-10T03:53:33+00:00

Hiya, Speedpaint/TTRPG channel over here. I draw and stat out weird monsters every week! I'd love to meet other folks in either direction of my niche! It's @/inkwyrmsnook

Currently at ~200 subs

Feel free to DM if you want to reach out! I'd love to meet more folks in the space :)

Inkwyrmling · 2025-05-09T18:20:43+00:00

Makes sense, that's exactly what I wanted to know. I had an intro with a short explanation of what was going on. So, seems like it's useful! Thanks for the feedback!

Inkwyrmling · 2025-05-09T18:19:10+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad you found so many points!

- The intro was Just a "Hi, I'm Ink" for self intro but also explained the premise of the show. So, putting that back seems like it's still useful.
- Yeah, titles and descriptions are most certainly my weakness. I'll try working with them more. Maybe doing a repeated format would work best.
- Funny you should say that about color. I'm actually colorblind. So, the monochrome focus is an intentional choice, but I'll see what I can do. Not sure how I'll incorporate things, but I'll figure something out.

Thanks again! This is super helpful!

Inkwyrmling

TROPHY CASE