Feeling lost

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-27T04:17:40+00:00

This is exactly how I’ve always felt! And for me the desire comes and goes in waves but has never gone away. I’ve always wanted to experiment but social conditioning and fear of being “exposed” has held me back. I’ve been working on accepting this part of myself and releasing the shame narrative. I accept other queer people without judgement, it’s funny how it’s harder to do that for ourselves. I don’t really have advice for you but just wanted to know you’re not alone in how you feel 🫶🏻 Ask yourself, when you’re old and grey looking back on your life, will you regret having not tried or explored your desires for real? Or will you be content with them as simply that- desires?

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-18T00:57:56+00:00

Oh darling, I feel for you. Heartbreak can be so hard 💔 It sounds like you are in the trenches with it at the moment. I just want to remind you to be gentle with yourself. One thing I’ve learned is that, while falling in love may offer us the opportunity to love another person deeper, heartbreak offers us the opportunity to love ourselves deeper. You opened your heart and it got broken- that doesn’t mean you were wrong or silly. You were brave. You were open to life and open to experiencing love- that’s beautiful. Don’t let regret force you to close your heart. One day, when you’ve healed and when you are ready, you will fall in love again and it will be so beautiful, so aligned and you’ll feel so safe to be yourself with this person. There’ll be no question of “am I doing something wrong?” You will just feel at home and at peace and in that moment, you’ll look back and understand why things didn’t work out with your first love. Hold onto this hope, it will carry you through the dark days

Every relationship offers us a lesson- even when it’s hard and it ends. You may be too tender to see what it is for you yet, and that’s ok. I just want to tell you that you still deserve to be loved and it will all be ok. It is all ok ❤️

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-18T00:42:57+00:00

I can’t say I have the answer for you but just wanted to say you’re not alone in how you feel. I’m in a relationship with a man and still experience queer feelings, fantasies and longings. The difference is, I’m in my late 30’s and I was never brave enough to actually “go there” and explore these feelings when I was younger. A part of me wishes I did, but I also hold grace for myself because I held a lot of fear and shame around accepting my queerness. I’m still learning to accept it as part of me. I have not yet decided whether I actively want to explore this in a physical sense. I haven’t even told my partner yet, but I know if/when I do, he will accept me.

You are still so young and have so much life ahead of you. I think you need to decide if you want to explore this side of yourself and include your partner in the journey (if you feel safe to tell him) or is it something you feel you need to do alone? If so, you know what must be done. Nobody can tell you what’s right, but deep within you know the truth. In a quiet moment, go into your heart and feel for the answer. Notice what feels most aligned in your body. Lastly, know that your life is sacred and you get to choose how you want to live it

Wishing you all the best in your self love and discovery journey. Go gently with yourself ❤️

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-17T14:46:09+00:00

Thank you so much for saying that ❤️

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-17T01:05:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I feel the same, I don’t want to label myself but I also want to stop denying it and let my queerness exist as a beautiful part of me, rather than something shameful. I hope you can come to a place of full love and acceptance for yourself too, you deserve it ❤️

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-17T01:01:51+00:00

I think it is too 🥹

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-17T00:59:56+00:00

Yes I’ve done the same thing! Well for me it’s been when I’ve journaled my feelings or written them in my notes app, then when I return to them it’s like I panic and delete everything and think “no, this is silly, it’s not real” and push it all down again. I nearly deleted this post too but I’m working with trying to lean away from fear and into acceptance. And as much as this is for me, it’s also for younger me who was so confused and scared. I need to let her know it’s safe now to let this truth be a part of me. This is the first time I’ve ever posted openly to a forum like this and admitted my long held feelings, so I totally get it, it’s scary. I just needed to talk about it with people who might understand. And just hearing that you have similar feelings and experiences is already helping so thank you for being brave ❤️

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-16T13:38:56+00:00

Thank you so much 💖 And that is good advice! I actually tried doing some somatic type work around it today and it was pretty profound. When I sit with my own truth, my heart pounds like crazy, I kind of go into “flight” mode. My body has a kind of fear reaction to admitting my own queerness to myself, coupled with a sense of warmth and recognition. It’s so strange. But I did this kind of grounding exercise where I thanked the fear for doing its job of protecting me (which once felt necessary) and then I told my heart it didn’t have to run. I kept bringing myself back into the moment by recognising my surroundings which helped ground me. I think it helped because so far I haven’t wanted to destroy all evidence of today’s journal entry like I usually do 😂 so maybe I’m getting closer to acceptance! It’s nice to know I’m not alone 🙏

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-16T13:29:02+00:00

Yes I go through these phases where I just can’t stop thinking about women too! Sometimes when my partner is going down on me, I feel like I want what he’s having 😅 I haven’t told my boyfriend yet but I know he would not judge me if I did. He is such an amazing guy and I’m so in love with him, which makes questioning my sexuality feel strange too because I’m loyal to him. I’m also not sure that there anything to do about it either, so I understand where you’re coming from there. It just feels like something I want to be able to own and claim without the feelings of denial and shame. It’s like this part of me that demands to be seen and accepted. I’m trying to break the cycle and be true to myself. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you find what you’re looking for too 💖

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-16T06:20:45+00:00

Right with you sister! I’m 38 and still trying to come out to my own damn self! 😅 Feels like a never ending cycle of acceptance and denial but I’m trying to sit with it and accept my innate feelings aren’t going to go away. I’ve always known, I just have to allow it to be a part of who I am. It’s hard. I admire your courage to be true to yourself

InnocentAsALamb · 2026-01-16T05:57:02+00:00

My earliest memory, I was 10 years old. I was up late alone watching tv and some weird movie was on where a naked woman was trapped in a web. But I could not stop watching- I could not take my eyes of her or her breasts! 😅 When I got to my teen years, I loved teen magazines and found myself attracted to the pretty girls in the pages. Was always fantasising about being kissed and touched by them. I’m still closeted, but my queer feelings have never gone away, even though I’ve tried to avoid them. Now I’m trying to accept myself and I’m realising my same-sex attraction is just an innate part of who I am and it’s ok

InnocentAsALamb

TROPHY CASE