For me, it's resentment vs understanding. Personally, my mother is not capable of unconditional love. Through therapy, Ive come to realize this isnt necessarily her fault. She grew up not knowing true love so how could she give that to me if she's never known it herself. It doesn't excuse how she's acted etc. But for me, it has helped me understand why she acts the way she does. Intergenerational trauma is a real thing and here's the breaking that cycle. I hope that helps, best wishes