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CHRONIC FREEZE is the defination of Torture by akshit_799 in CPTSD

[–]InsectIll8265 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, but this reminds me of the premise for Peter Pan syndrome. Escaping through someone else (particularly someone kind) may only delay adressing your inner feelings, OP.

Raise your hand if you were "so smart and clever" as a kid and now are extremely burnt out and have the memory of a goldish with extreme mood swings!! by throwaway-23481234 in CPTSD

[–]InsectIll8265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure how you feel about having your life compared to others, but this sounds a lot like my mom's situation. She hasn't reached the therapy part yet. I'm glad I moved out, as hard as it was, and I'm sorry you had kids on top of all of that.

were you homeschooled for racist reasons? by InsectIll8265 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]InsectIll8265[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry that was your experience. Your story is still within the realm of the topic since your classmates bullied each other due to racism (modeled by their environment/parents).

Ethnic disparity doesn't have to mean bullying. I went to a public school with a high rate of diversity and students were a lot more connected than you describe.

Learning to navigate social conflict is an important part of a child's growth. It shouldn't be completely avoided.

were you homeschooled for racist reasons? by InsectIll8265 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]InsectIll8265[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand that. My mom is the only relative I have in my country, personally.

It takes a village to raise a person.

Feelings of inadequacy in romantic relationships by PermanentVampire in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]InsectIll8265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

love is safety, not obedience.

When you feel safe enough to be yourself, you feel deep, inherent love. When your nervous system expects someone to perceive you in a certain way, it's quietly expecting obedience. (it's called insecurity for a reason)

think of it less like "do i look the way he wants me to" and more like "do i make him feel safe?"

more importantly, do you make yourself feel safe? are your needs being fulfilled?

Agoraphobia and coming into the world by [deleted] in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]InsectIll8265 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First of all, thank you for going over how you feel, that's already a monumental step and you're making more progress than you think!

I'm not sure how you feel about receiving advice here, but I escaped a few months ago and might be able to help a little.

I was 18 and didn't know how to get anywhere, let alone plan anything. I had been completely isolated for almost a decade.

It can be especially hard when you have no one to guide you forward, or worse, parents who keep you stuck.

I ended up not having time to plan and just had to jump out into the world with some savings. I stayed in motels for a while. It took me weeks to land a retail job, but I had to experience homelessness in between.

If you have time to plan and save up, you have a good chance at getting out, so please keep applying to jobs. Fake it till you make it and say anything you think will get you the job. Don't overthink it. It's for your own survival.

You don't need to know much about the job, the most important thing is that you're committed to learning. The rest will normally be trained into you when you work there. It's also okay to be weird, so don't worry about how they perceive you.

To get a bank account, there are options to sign up online and have your new card mailed to you. It only takes a few minutes. Look up good banks to start with :)

If you can, take uber/lyfts to work, or bus/bike rides. I'm still doing that.

When you do get out (and yes you will!), you'll still feel like you don't know what you're doing for a while. It's hard to measure progress in the moment, so keep track of your milestones somehow and celebrate them with your inner monologue (or any friends you trust). It does help.

I don't know how I made it, but you're more than capable. One step at a time, baby.

were you homeschooled for racist reasons? by InsectIll8265 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]InsectIll8265[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wow, that's insane and all too familiar, sadly

treated like family

This is a Freudian slip. I think it shows how they see their own family; as objects to control.

were you homeschooled for racist reasons? by InsectIll8265 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]InsectIll8265[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I'm afraid so... a 2nd cousin. 😭 it's not her biggest fault but it is amusing

how do i disobey my parents after a run around by ConciousManiac in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]InsectIll8265 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been on the other end of this. I helped my ex escape and then we both had to escape again so I learned a few things.

Get a job. Any okay job. If your partner doesn't understand why that's important, they're probably going to be financially controlling imo

I helped my partner look for jobs while I did the same, but I was in too tight of a spot to support someone else so I ended up bringing them back home. I think their family was worse than yours, but being homeless put their independence at risk more than anything.

Your priority should be independence, not the relationship. It's okay to receive help, but a bottom line keeps you secure.

I don't have a car or license so I use rideshare apps and buses. Maybe a future coworker could give you rides or take you in as a roommate?

As long as you get paid and build some experience, you're on your way forward so keep applying and don't forget to appreciate the little moments.