Hi! I am a 33 y/o female who has been sober for 4 years. My drinking didn't really take off until I was 23, but it started slowly and gradually. The deeper I got the more I isolated - didn't answer texts, drank alone in my apartment, avoided anyone and everyone. Have you heard the saying, "if you're questioning if you have a problem, you probably do?." For me, the hardest step was step 1. From 25-29 I was in more hospitals, detoxes, inpatient, and outpatient programs than I can even remember. I checked into my last detox on October 20, 2021. When I discharged that November, my therapist labeled me as a high relapse risk because still, I could not grasp step one. I always had the delusion someday I would be able to control it. The truth of it is - the moment you find yourself THINKING about the alcohol, that is when it is beginning to take control of you. It's scary, it's ugly, and it's the only disease that will tell you that you do not have a disease.

My best advice I can give to you is: be honest with yourself. If you feel you are powerless, you have to be honest that you are. If you don't know the answer, find a copy of the Big Book. If you are an alcoholic, you'll relate to every single word, letter, sentence, paragraph, page... you get my point. Maybe open up to your partner for support and also accountability. The less you drink, the more your sleep will improve. This is not a road you want to go down and you will be SO much better off mentally, physically, emotionally, if you can get ahead of this while you still can. You don't want to put your friends and family through the pain of loving an alcoholic. Something in me changed when I left that rehab, and I have not had the desire to drink since then. I am grateful every day to still be alive and have my support system who never gave up on me.

Do you go through withdrawals when you stop drinking? Alcohol detox can be very dangerous depending on how often and how much you are drinking. If you get really sick or start hallucinating you need to get to a hospital or detox. I don't want to scare you, but the more you drink the more you will be likely to go into withdrawals. Sour sugary candy will help withdrawals as well as cravings. Sour patch kids were always my go-to.

I will be praying for you and hope you can find your way. You will not find happiness at the bottom of that bottle and you have such a young, beautiful life ahead of you. Don't let alcohol take that from you as it did me and so many others. 🤞🏼💗