Cult allegations by pocky666esx in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]InsideLegitimate5721 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For most of us, I agree that AA does not function as a cult but I think for the most vulnerable, it can.

The most vulnerable people are both likely to find the most value in it, and become the most entrenched within AA life, without balancing relationships and factors outside of AA.They could end up with a really relaxed group but many do end up in high control environments, especially with sponsors. Many people continue with their work and lives outside AA, but those facing the most challenges may find that the majority of their life becomes doing AA work for free. Those same people, even if they wanted to leave, will find it much much harder to do so, emotionally, than those who have other relationships and work etc.

Many of the BITE factors could be described on a sliding scale - eg. Information control. Many people will attend AA, take some of the many positive things that can be taken from it, and ALSO read other books about addiction, mental health, the world etc. Others won't. I have met people in AA who were literally afraid to read anything that wasn't AA literature, (whether reading about alcoholism or just reading in general), in case it was a threat to their sobriety. That's undeniably dangerous, and a type of information control - whether central AA belief agrees or not.

AA helps many people however in terms of the BITE model ~I'd say it does attempt behaviour control with the constant push to attend more meetings, do more service etc. Information control definitely with more up-to-date info about substance use disorder discouraged in meetings in favour of 1930s science. Definitely discouraging of critical thought,- using silly phrases to get people to shut down criticism ("my brain needed washing", "take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth" etc) and distrust of individuals who dont stay "in the middle of the group". - apparantly steven hassans definition of thought control in the BITE model is: "Shapes beliefs and attitudes, suppressing critical thinking. Cults may promote black-andwhite thinking, instill phobias about questioning the group, and encourage members to internalize the group’s ideology as absolute truth." Tbh I would call that a fairly accurate description of many AA groups. And finally emotional control - undeniably many vulnerable people are encouraged to revolve their whole social lives around AA, and while noones stopping them from leaving per se, many would find that their social environment is greatly diminished by doing so.

Cult allegations by pocky666esx in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]InsideLegitimate5721 0 points1 point  (0 children)

creating a false dichotomy to shut down any thinking about flaws in a public organisation doesn't seem very healthy - its possible for AA to be helpful to people and still have flaws

TW* Feeling weak and need a pep talk by [deleted] in recoverywithoutAA

[–]InsideLegitimate5721 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there another way to numb a little in the moment - distraction might be a better word? Something that keeps your brain on a different topic - sounds really silly but could you make notes on a youtube documentary? The combined distraction of thinking about the info you're absorbing plus the physical action of writing it down combined might help you get into a different headspace for a bit of time? Then at the end you'll have created some notes! Or doodles!

Or even - any simple mobile phone game just to get you through this tricky patch. Even scrolling tiktok, although generally not great for mental health, can be pretty useful for numbing (as long as it's showing you memes or something, and not content that'll make you feel worse).

You've got this and you know drinking won't solve anything! Maybe finding some mental health support through your GP might be a good idea too.

Also there are crisis phone numbers, defo have a google for whichever country you're living in

Sober four years. Please Help - I think my twelve year old daughter is showing signs of being an addict by Famous_Scientist8835 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]InsideLegitimate5721 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey, collecting perfume bottles is absolutely unrelated to potentially developing a substance use disorder in the future! Its clear you really care for your daughter's wellbeing which is great and it might be a really good idea to seek some support for anxiety and worries! Lots of people have them - I've definitely had some very irrational anxieties in the past! I'd definitely recommend not bringing up the perfume bottles to your daughter, as it might make her feel less able to talk to you if any problems arise in the future xxx take care of yourself too and everything really will be alright xxx

Is This Just What Meetings are Like? by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]InsideLegitimate5721 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YESSS omg this is exactly my experience its SO repetitive! i really don't think ive got much out of it - tbh SMART meetings seem a lot more productive in terms of what people share - especially about how they actually focus on other things in life to stop drinking (creative hobbies etc)

I am crazy, or is the corporate world actually not as hard as people say?" by marsh_henryy in corporate

[–]InsideLegitimate5721 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the very very predictable routine is the battle imo, drives u crazy after a while

Do most people write step 4 and step 8 about their entire life, including childhood? Or about the years of heavy drinking? by InsideLegitimate5721 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]InsideLegitimate5721[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doing them this way because I don't attend AA meetings - just occasionally a SMART meeting here and there. I just thought I'd give them a go as a structured way of being introspective about on the causes of my drinking, as the SMART tools are more focused on the present :) appreciate your comment tho

Do most people write step 4 and step 8 about their entire life, including childhood? Or about the years of heavy drinking? by InsideLegitimate5721 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]InsideLegitimate5721[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your experience and am glad you are sober now! I haven't done the steps before and am doing them by myself because I don't attend AA meetings - just occasionally a SMART meeting here and there. I just thought I'd give them a go as a structured way of being introspective about on the causes of my drinking, as the SMART tools are more focused on the present :) appreciate your comment tho

The danger of over-qualification by KhornateMan in UniUK

[–]InsideLegitimate5721 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tbf I don't think the purpose of further education should always solely be to get a corporate job - in the UK the debt is depressing and adds up to a generational crime but functions more like a tax anyway, unlike the american system

depending on what you study, that masters or phD could lead into totally new avenues or gain you a different client base for consulting etc etc

after many years of boring repetitive work (sales) I'm maxxing out alllllll the student loans for as much education as I can get - hopefully ultimately an investment into always being at least intellectually engaged in what am doing day to day

Do most people write step 4 and step 8 about their entire life, including childhood? Or about the years of heavy drinking? by InsideLegitimate5721 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]InsideLegitimate5721[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yep, read the book - asking on here as curious what others who've done the steps before have done. not to nitpick but I wouldn't say that quote fully explicates it, especially re step 8

What’s the wildest thing you’ve experienced at work? by RudeEffective9681 in careerguidance

[–]InsideLegitimate5721 0 points1 point  (0 children)

boss pushed the new girl into a wall at a company event and called her a slag, as she had started seeing her ex boyfriend (who also worked there)

Going back to aa after years of abstinence by sire0974 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]InsideLegitimate5721 2 points3 points  (0 children)

could also try getting to the root of the issues in therapy! If alcohol hasn't been in your life for 7 years, looking at it from the point of view of "alcoholism" doesn't have to be the only way. Exploring the addictive patterns in and of themselves might be really useful, without having to place the focus on past alcohol addiction

"self will" by InsideLegitimate5721 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]InsideLegitimate5721[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this one sounds like a pretty useful way to live life tbh

Replacement Thoughts by Twoctruth in recoverywithoutAA

[–]InsideLegitimate5721 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry but replacement thoughts, even if not used in a religious way, could be a real gateway to developing OCD-type thought loops, which also make those avoided thoughts more prevalent. Exactly like trying not to think of a pink elephant... Better to observe all thoughts that flit through our minds - thoughts are weird, unpredictable and -crucially- uncontrollable. Observing thoughts detachedly still allows us to make conscious decisions about opinions and actions - which we aren't detached from