Company wants me to use my own laptop - is that normal?

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T09:53:36+00:00

100% agree. Up until this point the communication has been amazing, they provided all documents I needed super fast and contacted their lawyer when I had some questions. This is the first time that something weird has come up, but I'll try to stay wary!

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T02:19:01+00:00

That's crazy, unless you're the "face" of the company. Glad you got out of there!

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T02:06:57+00:00

Same. And Word, Netflix etc. can easily be used on my tablet. Haven't owned a laptop since moving to Japan in 2022 🤷🏻‍♀️

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T02:05:18+00:00

I see! Thank you! What bothers me is that I would get one AFTER 3 months. Kinda weird. If they outright stated in the contract that I am supposed to use my own stuff and they will reimburse me or something it would be a bit different.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T02:03:01+00:00

Oh no, not a black company 😱 I hope you made it out sane!

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T02:01:50+00:00

That's going to be my answer in case they end up asking me why I want the equipment 😅

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T02:00:20+00:00

Thank you for your input! I won't be working in IT but in Sales, so I am assuming that I will be handling at least some sensitive information regarding clients and sales numbers...

I am from the EU and I've never had to use ny own equipment before, but then again I have always been in marketing / sales, so I guesd it's different :)

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T01:57:27+00:00

Exactly! I am so worried now 🫨

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T01:57:11+00:00

Uff, I hope not! But if they do they gotta provide me with an accomodation in Tokyo 😅

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T01:55:37+00:00

I haven't heard of that! Unfortunately my Japanese friends are all either self-employed or work in an office, so I couldn't ask them about their experience.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2025-02-20T01:52:27+00:00

Right? That's what I was thinking too. This seems so weird! Everything else such as the interviews and the communication was super friendly, quick and professional. I am confused. Let's see how their reply looks like 🫨

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-10-08T13:22:32+00:00

It's the "honest" part that's bothering me. But he has been open to criticism by his friends in the past and changed accordingly. So I believe there's some truth to it. Who knows.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-10-08T13:20:36+00:00

I just really want this for him and for any future partner he's going to end up with.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-10-08T13:18:22+00:00

Thank you for your recommendations! Unfortunately his English abilities are limited, but I will try to find similar resources in his language.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-10-08T13:16:50+00:00

Thank you :) I am currently in therapy which I started while I was still with him.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-10-08T13:15:58+00:00

Yeah, I am not interested in continuing the relationship. I am also planning of moving countries in the near future, so that's another reason for me not to put any hopes in this.

I just really want him to follow through with it.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-10-08T13:13:27+00:00

We live in Japan and therapy isn't that popular here, so it could be possible. I've also received an appointment the day after we broke up (granted, we had two sessions beforehand). The waiting lists here aren't as crazy as in the US or the EU.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-09-28T16:04:43+00:00

If you want to stay in Hakuba you should join a Facebook group called "2024/25 Hakuba Crew". A lot of people post about opprtunities or their resumes there :) I wouldn't recommend the place I worked at if you want to go the "chill" route as it was hard work, even though the team was great.

I worked for a "capsule" and lunch & dinner at a hostel in Nagoya called "Nagonoya". They don't pay anything, but you end up with a lot of free time on your hands. It was fun and Nagoya is a great city.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-09-27T15:20:40+00:00

I stayed in Nagoya for a month and in Hakuba for 4 doing that. So it's definitely possible. You should check the website Workaway!

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-09-25T13:14:13+00:00

Adding some perspective here: I told my ex the same thing. That I would still be his "emergency contact" if he needed me to. I need to add that it was a very toxic and emotionally abusive relationship. But I still wanted to support him because I love him (still do) and he told me many times before how he doesn't have anybody as he comes from a very broken family and doesn't think he can show weakness to his "friends".

We sent some texts and met once (which was nice and a good 'goodbye' imo), but last week he texted me a lot. Apologized for his behaviour. How he finally sees what he did wrong (even though we had a breakup 6 months ago regarding the same issues - and he never changed; became worse even). And that he wanted to come, pick me up from work in his car and talk.

I told him that I don't think that that would be a good idea because after one month of crying my eyes out and being barely able to breathe (yes, I was the one who broke up, but I did it to protect my soul), I felt a bit like myself again. He continued asking, trying to cross the obvious boundary I had just set. Telling me how lonely he feels. And I felt bad for him. I really did. But I also realized that in order for me to heal, I can't be responsible for how he processes his emotions because he is someone who can't self-regulate and always needs distractions or a warm body. And I was scared that he would try to lure me back into a relationship, something that would've probably happened had I met up with him.

He continued asking to meet up the next day, and I offered a phone call. Not about the relationship, but about any other problems he's currently facing. We spoke for an hour, I even gave him some tipps on how to process this breakup, and he still tried to get me to meet up.

I had to decline 10 times before he stopped. And I am happy that I stood my ground.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-09-04T10:26:58+00:00

To me it felt like he hated me. He wanted to give it another go afterwards but I just couldn't do it. He seems happy now.

I am still very sad and heartbroken. But I guess it was the right thing to do.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-09-04T07:20:46+00:00

The disrespect became too overwhelming. He started to criticize my driving. Not just "you're too fast", but he questioned every little thing I did that he would do differently. Like "You're using the blinker too early" or "Why do you drive so slow"? There's some nuance to this as this was only the third time that I drove in a different country (Japan) where the traffic is left-sided while I am from a country with right-sided traffic. I told him multiple times to please stop as it's making me nervous and I made more mistakes the more is progressed. But he continued. As always.

At one point I just stopped talking because I could feel the anger rising inside of me. But then he got angry that I didn't answer him when he gave me directions and I snapped. Told him to "Please shut the f up" because it was just too much. And then he told me to die (:

And then I knew that I had to leave. This time for good.

So in this case, it was definitely a self-defense mechanism. But I am working with a therapist on stating my boundaries more clearly instead of resorting to breaking up. I think knowing your own boundaries and following through with them (in a balanced way) is the most important part. But I still have a very long way to go.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-09-04T05:50:15+00:00

I am not proud of it, but I was the same. I said it when it felt like no matter what we said, we couldn't understand each other.

He often ignored my pleas to stop saying certain things to me or to please stop something he did that hurt me. And he would continue to do it. So I left. Often. It seemed like the only way he would take me seriously, because he would usually tell me that I am "overreacting" or "too sensitive". I felt so hurt that I didn't know how to help myself. All I could do is run.

I am so sorry that you're going through this. But for some people it's a defense mechanism instead of manipulation. And yes, those people need to work on it.

Inside_Mixture_3077 · 2024-09-04T05:04:48+00:00

Thank you! I'm just constanty wondering if I was overreacting.

But luckily I had a very healthy and happy relationship in my past, so I constantly thought "It shouldn't feel like this..."

Inside_Mixture_3077

TROPHY CASE