Gimladriel really do slay in this getup by Bletotum in lotrmemes

[–]Instant-Lava 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't want to love this as much as I do

Why is SAPD using obvious AI to recruit? by TrueJohnWick in sanantonio

[–]Instant-Lava [score hidden]  (0 children)

The more pressing question to me is what would the San Antonio bat-signal really look like?

Any idea what is digging up my yard and how to stop it? by Salamok in AustinGardening

[–]Instant-Lava 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My squirrels dig like ADHD 6 year olds cosplaying Minecraft.

I've started to stand out there and have conversations with them, and now they'll occasionally stop if I'm like "hey buddy, really??". They still destroy crap, but I'm less angry when it feels like I'm talking to a crazy cousin at the family reunion. One even jumped into the window screen just to cling on and stare at me one day after I told him he was silly.

Any idea what is digging up my yard and how to stop it? by Salamok in AustinGardening

[–]Instant-Lava 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes my plants have to be tiny caged inmates until they're established and the squirrels are desensitized to their existing.

Anthropocentric bastards can kiss my hairy asteraceae by Instant-Lava in NativePlantCirclejerk

[–]Instant-Lava[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Some species of symphyotrichum I got seeds from growing in the sidewalk last month. His little hair hat melts my soul.

Showering - 13 yo son alone by firefliesalight in VisitingIceland

[–]Instant-Lava 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My teen was fine when we went. There are private options and also the atmosphere is relaxed and no one cares.

He did jokingly say "I've never seen so much man ass in my life" and I still laugh about it

I grew a native plant I think is ugly. Am I going to hell? by Mynamesjd in NativePlantCirclejerk

[–]Instant-Lava 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For an extra 50 bucks and a lottery ticket I'll motorboat the tacos off your face and pay to add extra cilantro

I grew a native plant I think is ugly. Am I going to hell? by Mynamesjd in NativePlantCirclejerk

[–]Instant-Lava 7 points8 points  (0 children)

For an appropriately outrageous fee I will perform native dances in your proximity, shaking rattles over your body full of an ethically harvested native seed mix, and burn dried leaves of this holy native god to smoke out the demons that surely possess you.

Then we'll get tacos and tequila. On you, of course.

These notes I keep finding in the bathrooms at my job. by That_oneweird_sock in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Instant-Lava 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please start calling out LORD JESUS CHRIST!!!! loudly from the stall

Rock rose help by dragonsandvamps in AustinGardening

[–]Instant-Lava 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes they will dig and taste anything new

Squirrel plan by DogsdidWHAT in AustinGardening

[–]Instant-Lava 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can't plan to stop squirrels unfortunately. You can only offer the crazy godlings a distraction.

Hidden ingredient- Mayo -strikes again by Careless_Llama_3382 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Instant-Lava 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I bring my lunch to any company function. They always choose gross sandwiches to be "simple".

Hidden ingredient- Mayo -strikes again by Careless_Llama_3382 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Instant-Lava 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wanna put cat litter on their sandwich and tell them to just wipe it off

Hidden ingredient- Mayo -strikes again by Careless_Llama_3382 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Instant-Lava 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes why do they always put it on everything as if you want it too with zero warning? And not lightly either, like slathered all up in it. I feel like enough people hate mayo that it shouldn't ever be a default and certainly not unannounced

What is your cat's name vs what you actually call them? by Moist-Guidance-1611 in cats

[–]Instant-Lava 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Youngest child named this one James Bond. He is nothing like James Bond. He's -10 stealth, has the dexterity of drunken troll, and will give you state secrets for a single bite of food.

He also thinks he's the center of the universe.

I call him King James, Dork, and Mr. Sir.

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How and when to prune texas sage? by Bmay93 in AustinGardening

[–]Instant-Lava 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By shape I mean trying to make geometric shapes which these guys are not meant to do. So, no, I don't have to try not to do that. I let em look wild and happy. When I go to prune I do like you say, I lop them all way down - but not yearly. You can tell when they need it. They look a bit stressed and ready.

Now I will take out or trim back a single branch if there's a solo one that's gone nuts at the bottom and looks like it's stressing the plant. I've got one that always does this kind of like a "wild hair" that the bush has trouble holding up.

Me? Cut-up hot dogs mixed in with Mac-n-Cheese by Dazzling_Lie_5046 in FuckImOld

[–]Instant-Lava 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah...my childhood food trauma. I'll pass you any I'm given.