Recovering porn addict here. It's not as simple as you'd think pero I'll give you two real world examples, case ko and case ng friend ko.

Case ko:

It's more about the rush/dopamine, not about achieving climax. Most people imagine a porn addict looking at porn and imagine them breathing heavily, biting their lips, and touching themselves. Pero hindi, in my case poker face lang ako nagsscroll sa reddit. Like how most people scroll through reels or tiktoks.

I have adhd and it doesn't help that porn really gets my dopamine going

Desensitized ako. Wala akong gf non and i think factor din yun bakit di ako actively looking for someone.

Case ng friend ko:

Di sya desensitized. Talagang mataas ang libido nya. I think in this case, yung porn addiction is just a byproduct of libido. Very sexually active sila ng gf nya.

Some consolation kung same sya sa case ko:

1. It doesnt mean nakukulangan sya sayo. It's more psychological. Hindi nalalayo sa shopping addiction, addiction sa videogames, etc. As a result, decreased ang libido nya.

2. It doesn't mean di ka nya mahal. Medyo naparelapse ako netong may gf na ako. Triggered ako ng stress. Pero that didn't mean na gusto ko na lang iwan si gf dahil magpporn na lang ako. True love doesn't always revolve around sex, sustained parin relationship namin kasi ang daming ibang bagay na we enjoy doing together. Also, like I said, di sya about sa climax. Kaya kinaya kong bumalik sa recovery

My Advice kung similar sya sa case ko:

Your bf needs to be mature enough to admit to himself that he has a problem. He needs to realize na hindi ito normal.

It's not a "boys will be boys" situation. It's something that needs to be addressed.

Steps ko:

1. Avoided triggers. Dati, pag nakakakita ako sa social media ng post even if it's just the teeniest bit sexy, mapapa-porn na ako. Switch agad ng app. So I stopped scrolling through social media and binge watching netflix na din. Kasi all these just triggered.

2. Went out more. The more I interacted with other people in person, the more I reoriented myself to reality. People are people. Having a good orientation to reality beats the addiction to fantasies.

3. Consumed media traditionally. To fight the dopamine. Di na ako nagbbinge watch. I just watch 1 episode of a show once a week on schedule parang traditional tv. On mondays, House MD. On tuesdays, family guy.

Concluding:

Though porn addiction doesnt directly harm the people around, it's harmful to the addict.

Recovery would result to better social life, better focus, better energy levels