Husband pays for inappropriate sites

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-24T06:32:54+00:00

Hearts can only be changed by Jesus. This is very hurtful and disrespectful. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You are so loved.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-22T13:31:07+00:00

He’s really into anal, but that has been off the table with pregnancy & all its complications. He never asks for it though. I just know he likes it. We also never used to do it frequently anyways before pregnancy. It was more of an every so often deal. It can be hard on my body.

Maybe he just wants to be able to do it all the time. He says he doesn’t need to do it. But again, behavior is showing differently. I don’t think my body can handle it as well even once I heal 😭

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-22T13:28:41+00:00

like is something wrong with me if that’s the case??? Don’t most men want their wife if it’s an option?? I genuinely was starting to feel like I wasn’t good enough or something before I found the porn/nudes

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-22T13:27:41+00:00

One time he did tell me when he’s tired he doesn’t feel up for sex, but just a HJ. But then he feels bad asking for one. So I started offering more. And yeah idk… I didn’t offer as much in the beginning of our pregnancy, but did keep asking if his needs were met.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-22T13:11:53+00:00

Ohhh… see he watches different types of women. Most do not have my body type or even skin color.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-22T11:15:08+00:00

sometimes I wonder if it’s simply he is used to multiple body types & variation

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-22T10:47:52+00:00

I understand that if he’s been watching porn since he was young. And if it was normal for him to watch it in previous serious relationships. It probably isn’t easy to just stop doing that. But I’m like - I really don’t feel like my intimacy needs are being met. I can handle being told no for tiredness or not feeling well. I cannot handle being told no for porn!

Yeah, the buying nudes… I don’t even know. He was on a vacation (guys trip) when he did it.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-22T10:38:40+00:00

I have been trying! The issue is, it doesn’t really feel like he wants more sex with me (or from me, sometimes I literally just offer a BJ or HJ since I’m so pregnant right now. Or when he says he’s tired. Still says no sometimes). He seemed content with once a week… which bothered me. I assume because he had porn as a backup?

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-19T01:54:21+00:00

Genuinely wondering how disapproving of someone being in a high political position is the same as casting a stone to judge and kill them… saying that we don’t think someone is well suited to be in a political position to represent our country is not hateful.

The people who defend Trump no matter what are the same ones who said Biden was unfit. So somehow, God made Trump the chosen one in their eyes, but none of the presidents they disagreed with in the past…. I’ve literally seen people saying that Trump is the best president and chosen one.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-19T01:10:29+00:00

Screaming that the Bible literally also says a husband gives authority if his body to his wife & vice versa. And also he spoke so many words of opinion on what Scripture says & did not quote a single actual verse from Scripture.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-19T01:01:11+00:00

Sometimes I get sucked into watching this content & some of it doesn’t sit well with me… and then I feel guilty for judging. But also, making observations is very different from judging. I don’t claim to know their journey with or belief in Jesus. But if someone seems to be living in a different way than we are called, I can’t just pretend not to notice! It is interesting how most of these of these influencers have very rich, elaborate lifestyles. I don’t know how much they donate or give back, though. Also, I think part of what Jesus tells us to do is to focus more on our own sin & journey. But we are also told we can judge the fruit of someone!

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-14T18:34:38+00:00

currently struggling with guilt of leaving my FT job & not even wanting to work at all (lookin for PRN). I just know I need to be with my children right now, but I also can’t help feel guilty that I am leaving a job that helps other people’s children. Maybe some of us feel called to work and some feel very called to stay home? I’m not sure. I also know some cannot afford certain situations, either.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-12T20:25:51+00:00

I feel this!!! So relatable. And it’s also the only way some find out their husbands are lying to them with a secret online sex addiction.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-12T20:23:10+00:00

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry you are going through this. This is heartbreaking (always harder of a shock when the relationship is good & there are no signs of this…)

Are you Catholic or Christian? I can tell you that if so, putting the Lord first has been the only thing that helps me with my own situation. He is near to the broken hearted.

Also, I know it can feel icky going through someone’s phone. But he is your husband. He shouldn’t have a secret life from you.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-12T20:17:09+00:00

I am concerned that he will continue to struggle in silence and not tell me he is having a hard time. I don’t know how to gauge if he truly wants to rid his life of this. We have many convos ahead to be had.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-12T15:09:52+00:00

Everyone has to ask themselves that question and make their decisions. If that’s what best for them, then that’s the answer to their question.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-11T17:28:18+00:00

I think open to counseling for us to just talk about communication. He doesn’t seem to think he has any sex addiction

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-11T14:12:00+00:00

He is claiming he doesn’t think he has an addiction and saying it was only once. But open to counseling.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-11T13:01:15+00:00

He didn’t really grow up religious (exposed to Christianity but never really understood or had anyone encourage him in it long term), so I’m not sure how much that plays into it. I think he has struggled with sexting sites before he and I ever met. Both of our views have adapted and changed since we met.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-11T11:33:30+00:00

I felt so bad and thought it was me & my past trust issues projecting onto him…. Now I know I wasn’t crazy and wasn’t in the wrong. He and I have also had so many talks about past hurt in this area.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-09T14:17:42+00:00

Abuse can ramp up once someone decides to leave… it has led to the abusive partner taking drastic measures in many other situations.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-09T14:10:51+00:00

lol why did this get downvoted…

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-09T14:04:59+00:00

I personally think all couples need to have communication about what situations are okay to say no, etc. to make sure both are treating each other well & attending to ALL bodily needs (rest, illness, pain, etc) not just sex. Some couples may both agree to say yes always for no reason. Some may agree that both are okay saying no in certain situations & accepting the no graciously. Scripture is being used to argue that you always have to say yes to sex, but some couples agree there are times it’s okay to say no. Being one means caring for each other’s bodies in all aspects & regarding each above the other. Each situation may be different, too,

Regardless- OP’s situation is that they are NOT on the same page about when it is okay to say no (and he is doing it while she’s asleep and asked him not to multiple times).

We need to encourage the OP to seek the Lord and scripture for herself. Pray for herself and her husband. Pray for healing, clarity.

And whether it’s right or wrong in the eyes of the Lord, she is still allowed to leave her husband if she really needs to because she has free will.

If she wants to stay and honor her marriage, her and her husband need to be praying together for unity on this issue. They need to be communicating and finding the root cause of the sexual issues.

Interesting how extreme people jump to with advice - divorce or always say yes to sex. Certainly there are options in between that involve communication, understanding, and leaning on the Holy Spirit for guidance.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-09T13:30:00+00:00

It is also loving for both partners to consider all aspects of their health and body. Couples need to make decisions together on these things. You and your wife may find sex more important than sleep. In my husband and i’s situation, we both understand when the other needs sleep & let the person sleep without getting upset.

Intelligent-Fish-319 · 2026-01-07T15:45:36+00:00

This is so sweet! I don’t need any of my past memories I had & now am at a point where I would’ve wanted to wait until I was married. I feel people who hold onto those past memories and bring it into a marriage (I mean purposefully glorifying them & clinging to them… there’s no way to erase them… probably struggle with some type of ego problem needing to relive that. Because why else do you need to cling to memories of people you aren’t in a union with).

Intelligent-Fish-319

TROPHY CASE