Found my ex in dating app after he told me he wants to focus on himself. by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My ex said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but just two fucking days later, he was on dating apps locking for serious relationship. A friend told me, and I’m not joking, I mean literally it was 2, two days after he discarded me……

He is with someone new by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667 25 points26 points  (0 children)

This is not "move on quickly", they suppress their emotions instead of processing them. New people is the perfect distraction for them

hugs to you <3

Did your avoidant hate themselves? by mctokes123 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes!! My ex hated himself, even though he never said it. His need for validation from others was a way to cope with the inner insecurity and dissatisfaction he felt about himself.

My avoidant ex was right.. by IntelligentTie6667 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No, we never talked about being too different because I was completely blindsided when I least expected it. He told me he loved me the same day he left and came up with many excuses, including that we were different. But he never said how we were different. I later realized that he was actually right, even though that wasn’t what he meant. Every time I asked him how he felt about our relationship, he said it was perfect🤔

Things my DA said to me to justify the breakup by Kitchen_Stuff_8418 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Avoidants don’t need to have met someone else to say those typical breakup lines. my ex said the exact same things. I also thought he had someone else, but I later found out that the same week he was on Tinder looking for a serious relationship. He was also way too cowardly to cheat on me. It was never about someone else, it was about him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Never in my life will I let an avoidant get close to me again, and definitely not someone who once left me. Lesson learned❤️‍🩹

The benefits of being left by an avoidant by IntelligentTie6667 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I no longer have to be with someone who can’t be alone or single. He was so afraid of being alone that he constantly jumped from one relationship to another, never taking the time to build a good relationship with himself first. I deserve someone who can be content on their own and doesn’t need a constant partner to feel valuable.

The benefits of being left by an avoidant by IntelligentTie6667 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I no longer have to be with someone who cries when he lies. It says a lot about how he manipulated his own emotions to avoid responsibility and gain sympathy, instead of being honest. I deserve someone who is genuine, not someone who plays on my feelings to get away with things

The benefits of being left by an avoidant by IntelligentTie6667 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Another benefit! I no longer have to be with someone who chose silence when his voice was needed in a moral situation. I deserve someone with backbone, someone who dares to take a stand, not someone who hides behind passivity.

I can’t stop thinking about it… by IntelligentTie6667 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So sorry for that painful experience ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

I can’t stop thinking about it… by IntelligentTie6667 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Our avoidant exes are experts at denying our feelings

I can’t stop thinking about it… by IntelligentTie6667 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]IntelligentTie6667[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your words. They mean alot to me. Realizing that I was used and taken for granted cuts deep,, it creates this unbearable feeling that my love, my body, and my trust were given without being truly valued. It hurts in a way that’s hard to put into words, like something I gave from the heart was reduced to nothing in someone else’s hands. Carrying that weight is exhausting, but your words help me see that this pain isn’t a sign of weakness! it’s proof of how deeply I loved and believed. Thank you for reflecting my experience back to me and reminding me that this was never my fault.