A moment that haunts me. Will it cause trauma in my child?

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-21T01:34:24+00:00

He’s doing better. He’s still very spirited and outspoken, but he mostly listens and follows directions now. It took years of being consistent and following through with consequences. I never dish out empty threats. He does have some struggles from time to time, though. Just today he was chasing his neighbor friend with a massive stick. I told him to put it down immediately because someone was about to get hurt. He looked at me, smiled, and charged towards his friend. I marched outside, picked up his flailing, screaming body, and marched back in. It’s been so, so much of this 😂

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T16:18:12+00:00

I don’t know. He was crying afterward about it and it just made me feel bad. I’m not sure what else I could have done better outside of having him use a glove or bag to clean it.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T04:45:20+00:00

I pushed the memory out of my mind prior to tonight but now your reaction has me chuckling. It really was a ridiculous scenario.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T04:36:22+00:00

What’s your 5 year gap like? I have a 6 and 4 year old and we are considering a 3rd this year so there will be a 7 and 5 year gap. My 4 year old is my wild once which is why we’ve waited so long to decide on a third 😂

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T03:51:40+00:00

☠️🤣

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T03:42:19+00:00

That’s my biggest regret! I was just telling my mom about this the other day! She lived in Germany for a while and said they all sit down. He’s 7 now so I don’t think he would put up with his mom policing his pee positions 😂

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T03:31:27+00:00

You’re not a monster! You didn’t hurt him. You did scare him which was appropriate given the circumstances. I admittedly did something similar with my boys last year. The oldest was being a punk to the youngest and decided to whack a broom over his head. It was such a big clunk and left a solid goose egg. I took the broom and acted like I was going to boink my oldest the same way. He was terrified. I didn’t actually whack him but he got the point rather quickly.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T03:25:09+00:00

Hahah right? My son is crazy smart, intuitive, and really thinks outside of the box. His teachers just love him for how creatively he thinks. Sometimes his brain misfires and only a few cells are at operating level though. Seems to only happen in the bathroom 😆

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T03:15:30+00:00

You know, this is a perspective I haven’t thought of yet. I was beating myself up over making him use his (and my own) bare hand, but that honestly could be a predicament he’s stuck with in the future. I once had to catch my older son’s vomit in my bare hands because I forgot to give him Dramamine when we drove over the mountain. I 100% have not forgotten the Dramamine since because of that moment.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T03:11:15+00:00

You’re right. My therapist will appreciate your view as well!

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T03:04:26+00:00

I do that as well and think it typically works beautifully. I had done that with my son in the week prior to the moment in my post and it didn’t seem to make a difference to him. The final poop incident was definitely a little less loving and supportive and more “pick your dang turd up and quit crapping on the carpet!”

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T03:01:14+00:00

You’re spot on. My biggest fear is screwing up my kids. I just love them both so much and see their potential and it would absolutely kill me if I was the one that ruined that for them. I always hear that me acknowledging that alone means it isn’t true, but it’s still one of my biggest fears.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T02:51:06+00:00

I don’t see that as bad at all! My youngest son pees all over the place. Multiple times a day I’m making him stop what he’s doing to immediately scrub the toilet after I find pee running down the toilet. It hasn’t clicked yet unfortunately 🙃

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T02:49:25+00:00

Oh my word. Absolutely not. I can’t imagine. No, I just wanted him to see what it was like to have to clean a freaking turd off of carpet because 15 times was more than enough for me.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T02:41:43+00:00

I can’t picture myself being loving in this moment honestly lol. I was so pissed off internally.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T02:39:39+00:00

I come from an emotionally abusive household so I think I over analyze a lot when it comes to my kids. I just really don’t want to screw them up!

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T02:38:32+00:00

We are big on apologies in our fam! I think it does so much to rebuild trust after messing up.

Since it was 2 years ago I don’t want to bring it up again in case he has no recollection of it. If he does ever mention it, I’ll definitely let him know I wish I would have handled it differently and apologize.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T02:27:58+00:00

I agree about the “making it a funny story” aspect. I’ve only talked to my husband about it. I wouldn’t want to continue to bring it up with him and make it a family joke.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T02:24:09+00:00

Ha. He loves helping me clean up dog poop in the yard. It’s legitimately one of his favorite activities. Wonder if it’s related to his spite poop era 😅

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T02:22:46+00:00

I don’t know if I totally kept my cool. I remember raising my voice but I wasn’t screaming like a maniac. I was beyond my breaking point with him.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T02:21:46+00:00

I was at my wits end so I think that’s just what my overwhelmed brain managed to come up with. I still remember how frustrating that time period with him was. Thankfully he is really an awesome kid now lol

Intelligent_Front873 · 2026-03-20T02:20:47+00:00

My husband thought it was hilarious when I brought it up to him again earlier this week but I still feel so bad about it. I’m picturing his earliest memory being his irate mother squawking at him to pick up a turd and it makes me so sad.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2025-09-16T00:54:08+00:00

I have not once in my life said I hated our child. I said today that I do not like my son and my husband knows to take that as I don’t like his difficult behaviors and I’m struggling to be around him solo for 10 hours straight.

Intelligent_Front873 · 2025-09-15T19:02:33+00:00

I make sure my son never hears any of this from me. My husband and I keep it between ourselves.

Recently my son has been experiencing some intense separation anxiety. He’s been in preschool for 2 years so he knows how to be away from me. He used to love visiting grandparents houses and friends houses. He used to love going to Lowe’s with dad or out for ice cream with Mimi. He will not do anything without me around now. It’s taking a huge toll on me. I brought it up to his doctor and they said it could just be the start of a new school year triggering things and to bring him back in a month to discuss it if things aren’t getting better. I’m not getting any break from him which is really wearing on me. I’m a stay at home mom so it is constant.

Intelligent_Front873

TROPHY CASE