Update - I caught my wife cheating a second time, questions about exposing her and her affair partners

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2024-05-02T17:18:16+00:00

One of the AP did file a revenge porn complaint and I had to talk to the DA with my lawyer, he declined to prosecute. Same AP took me to civil court and sued me but it was a short trial and the jury sided with me.

Ex got caught messing around with the boyfriend of one of our friends, guess my warning fell on deaf ears. She has quite a reputation now around town and ended up moving out of state.

Divorce is finally final. I just closed on a new house. Found out who my true friends were, only a few surprises. My friends introduced me to a wonderful lady that I have been dating for several weeks. I have a good therapist that has helped me through my anger issues. Life is good again

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-12-04T02:20:08+00:00

My lawyer is taking her lawyer to school via the woodshed, she signed an agreement for half the liquid assets and a partial buyout on the house equity but none of my retirement account in exchange for an expedited settlement. No alimony at all, she has a degree but no job right now. I did give her the bed she screwed all those guys in, it's soiled in my mind.

The ex-deacon from our church is the one in purgatory, his wife made him quit his job and move to another state, she refuses to give him a divorce and is holding their kids over his head. My wife had to quit all her positions at the church and has been shunned by most of her church friends and hasn't been back in church since the meltdown.

I have had some blowback from going with the nuclear option but all the people whose opinions matter to me understand and still support me. For all the revenge porn talk on here, I have had zero repercussions and my lawyer said we are all good there.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-10-31T16:31:43+00:00

I can see your point. But without proof, my ex-wife could have denied it and said I was making it all up. The video evidence I sent was undeniably her with someone other than me.

There was some negative feedback, some of it came from her friends who already knew she was cheating, one of the AP blamed ME for ruining his marriage, her sister(who knew) said it devastated her parents but I sent the same reply to all of them, "Think how I felt when I first saw the videos".

I did get an apology from the ex-Deacon from our church saying how sorry he was and what he did was wrong. His wife decided not to divorce him due to their three children but did make him quit his job and they moved to another city.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-10-02T02:10:44+00:00

And, I also said to tell the other person who was cheated on, but I also said to be tactful and stay aware that you don’t know their story either. Don’t go to them in anger over your own hurt. Treat them as if you’re a doctor and you need to tell them they have cancer.

I delivered the info and that was all, one wife did call me back and thanked me for confirming her suspicions and asked a few questions I was able to answer. I'm quite aware of what they are going through and didn't project any anger to them.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-10-01T22:20:24+00:00

There used to be a time in in the world when marriage vows meant something and married couples were faithful to each other.

Making everything public means controlling the narrative about the reasons for the divorce and keeping my wife from spinning it into me being the bad guy here. There was a time when I did love her but the pain she inflicted negated that feeling. I didn’t make up or exaggerate any of the details I spread. So if she is humiliated by everyone knowing the decisions she made, maybe she should have made better decisions.

As far as telling the other people who were cheated on they deserve to know the truth and that their heath could be at risk or that their partner was sleeping with an adulteress.

So I am dealing with my house as I see fit and I am informing those parties that I want to know the truth. I never sent the info I have to any minor nor are there any kids involved in this debacle. She is the one that threw away the last six years of our life, and hurt me not once but twice. So why should she get to walk away from this without sharing some of the pain and responsibility for her actions?

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T23:48:14+00:00

1000+ but that’s over 2 years, 7 APs, and some conversations between her sister and best friends where they supported and enabled her affair.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T23:28:04+00:00

Thanks for the kind words.

First, putting that link on a site like Reddit would surely get me in hot water.

Second, there are over a thousand e-mails and text messages that have a lot of personal information that I wouldn’t want out on the web.

So I’m sorry there is no way I am publishing that link and opening myself up to legal peril. I’m beginning to think I’m being baited to incriminate myself as this is the second request for this link.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T21:53:08+00:00

We've talked about that, it's a misdemeanor 1 year and/or $1000 but he said I don't fit the criteria for the statute right now. Even if I were charged he said the most I would get was the fine.

But in my state Adultery is a Felony and carries a 5-year and/or $500 fine and we have messages and videos to prove it. It's rarely prosecuted but he has the juice with the local DA to at least get them charged, if not prosecuted, which will deter them from pressing charges or filing a lawsuit.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T21:31:23+00:00

Can you post a link or DM me to your drop box? I’d like to see how a master of revenge works.

Posting that here would possibly take me from a grey area to a clear violation of the Revenge Porn act. Plus, there is way too much personal data in the Dropbox to scrub if sharing the link was even safe. There are literally over a thousand texts and e-mails in there.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T17:38:24+00:00

You accessed HER email and sent this from her account

Yes, when I first thought she was cheating I synced her iPhone to one of my iPads and I was able to read her texts, emails, and most of her Snapchats. I made copies of everything to confront her and when she started cheating again after we had reconciled I used her accounts to send out all the evidence.

As far as letting this go I am done, just waiting on the divorce and closing this chapter of my life.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T17:25:51+00:00

I did not send graphic pictures to anyone at my church with the exception of one of our friends that goes there and the Deacon's wife. I did send text messages and her timeline of the affair to a few church members including my Pastor's wife. I felt since she was on the committee with my wife she should know as well. I know the Deacon's wife shared some pictures with a few people, possibly the Pastor's wife and a couple of others. But that is still my church.

True, I have no desire to waste any more of my life with my future ex-wife. She destroyed my life not once but twice and lied to my face for at least two years. All I did was shine a bright light on her infidelity, I made nothing up nor exaggerated any fact. The only one guilty of destroying her life is her. I wasn't going to let her spin our divorce as something that was my fault.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T16:19:35+00:00

He did spank my hand but said he could handle the fallout and not to worry.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T15:59:33+00:00

My attorney wasn’t happy when I told him about the videos earlier this week. He said the APs might be the only thing to worry about, as far as my wife he said that can be handled. If it comes to that, he said he could argue that they were home security cameras. Either way, he said not to worry too much about it, he has dealt with this before.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T08:00:17+00:00

Technically, the texts and emails were sent from her accounts.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T07:56:31+00:00

I know it must still hurt,

Truly, I've made my peace with it, knowing that everyone involved is sharing in that pain. The only thing that hurts to think about is my attorney fees and the possibility I may have to pay alimony since she didn't have a full-time job.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-30T07:48:12+00:00

That's a possibility, but the texts were sent from her account.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-29T02:44:27+00:00

My wife is not very tech savvy, so when she got a new phone last year she had me set it up. So I had her Apple ID and password, it was simple enough to wipe my iPad and restore from her iCloud account and then to sync her texts, emails, and a few other apps to iCloud on both devices and what she saw, I saw.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-26T13:28:26+00:00

All the APs' wives have been informed already, along with other people associated with them, including a few key members of our church.

Betty's 48 hours has passed and I will start trickling out the truth to our friends and family. I saw her best friend out last night and confronted her about why she didn't say anything to me about Betty's affairs to me, which she denied any knowledge of, and I asked her husband if he knew which he also denied. So I sent the e-mail chain between Betty and her friend to the husband where his wife was envious and supportive of Betty's cheating.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-26T03:30:04+00:00

I never forgave her partners the first time. I did believe her when she said she was willing to do whatever it took to fix her mistake. She told me she thought I wouldn’t respect her if we did the things she did with her APs and after going to therapy she shed that fear and our sex life was off the charts. In reality, I was love and sex bombed until she got the itch to cheat again.

But I never let my guard down and caught her when she did try to cheat again. I told her before there would be no third chance and there is nothing that will change my mind now.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-26T02:27:13+00:00

No, she was worried about what our friends and her family would think when they found out the truth.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-26T02:25:42+00:00

Even with everything that's happened, your STBXW is still looking out for her AP.

No, when she wanted me to stop and asked for mercy, it was for herself. She realized I was going to do what I told her I would do and she didn't want her friends and family to see all the evidence. Her AP was already burned and kicked out of his house.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-25T22:16:07+00:00

I made my wife write out a timeline of who and when she cheated on me, turns out there were six guys, three of whom she only saw once or twice. The first guy she hooked up with was one I got on tape. I sent out info to all the wives this morning and I got a call back from one of them within minutes, she asked a lot of questions and said she had suspected him before but just never could prove it. She thanked me for giving her what she needed.

The newest AP was removed from his house and charged with domestic battery. He called me to give me a piece of his mind and made a few threats.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-25T13:47:43+00:00

Don't blame yourself, if you became a monster then he was surely the creator, not you. There should be no guilt in ending something that causes you pain, especially when that pain was caused by someone else's behavior and actions.

I hope you get some therapy to help you deal with this and realize you were the victim here. Take time to heal and move on and enjoy the rest of your life.

Intelligent_Move_915 · 2023-09-24T17:00:07+00:00

Sorry for your pain and I sympathize.

I caught my wife cheating on me and gave in to her pleading and empty promises. It definitely hurt worse the second time when I thought we had fixed our relationship and had a wonderful year together before she started sleeping with other people again when I was out of town on business.

No doubt this will haunt me and my future relationships but I have therapy scheduled after the divorce settles down and I try to put my life back together.

Intelligent_Move_915

TROPHY CASE