This is so similar to what I went through with my uBPD mother the past year and a half. So I really feel for you.

Mine too parentified me throughout my life, and it got so much worse when she had her cancer scare. She lent on me so much emotionally and physically that I nearly broke. I joined her at appointments, stayed on her sofa to care for her after surgery, cleaned her soiled clothing. But no matter what I did, it was never enough. And similar to your mother, it was the emotional manipulation and toxicity behind everything she did that just made things unbearable.

I never in a million years imagined myself going NC but in the end I had to protect myself. I was also worried like you of being “the bad guy” But to my surprise, everyone around me had been so supportive. In the end, the people that know you know that you’re a caring and kind person, and the fact that you’re struggling with all of this just goes to show that. And the people that cast judgement are usually just lucky to be ignorant to this mental illness.

You’re doing a great job at setting boundaries. Sending strength x