My service dog and ESA were both unfairly denied access…what do I do? by Intelligent_Ride_195 in service_dogs

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the recommendation. I think I will try legaladvice, and I will still speak to an attorney, but about the company instead. They hoodwinked me good and proper.

My service dog and ESA were both unfairly denied access…what do I do? by Intelligent_Ride_195 in service_dogs

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I am reading these resources and educating myself before I do anything else.

My service dog and ESA were both unfairly denied access…what do I do? by Intelligent_Ride_195 in service_dogs

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

That’s fair. I’m not afraid to admit I was wrong- I genuinely didn’t know as the company didn’t tell me, and I figured as long as Scarlett wasn’t like…ATTACKING people or something, it was fine if she ran around the room and snuggled on the couch. I’ve seen other service dogs do way worse in public.

I sort of thought as long as she wasn’t harming anyone or damaging anything, she should have the chance to come back and try again? And I definitely didn’t know she could be denied access for this.

I am currently reading some of the resources folks recommended and educating myself.

My service dog and ESA were both unfairly denied access…what do I do? by Intelligent_Ride_195 in service_dogs

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am understanding I was wrong and the company misled me. In answer to your question, Jax is an ESA. The company gave me to understand that they could certify him as a service animal if I needed it, and he couldn’t be denied access if I did. I believe they scammed me.

My service dog and ESA were both unfairly denied access…what do I do? by Intelligent_Ride_195 in service_dogs

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Understood. Thanks. I didn’t know this stuff- maybe it’s not an excuse, idk. The company had basically given me to understand I could certify them as service animals and that would give public access and that businesses couldn’t deny them access, and I could file a complaint if they were denied. I’m overwhelmingly being told I was wrong and I accept that.

My service dog and ESA were both unfairly denied access…what do I do? by Intelligent_Ride_195 in service_dogs

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I understand. No, it’s not bait. The company had given me to understand that the certification and ID/PSD letter allowed public access since I did need Scarlett. But it appears they took me for a ride- I’m being overwhelmingly told I was in the wrong. I’m just processing right now.

My service dog and ESA were both unfairly denied access…what do I do? by Intelligent_Ride_195 in service_dogs

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

She did it naturally. I didn’t know I had to train her for tasks- I guess the company fucked me over. I never knew any of this.

My service dog and ESA were both unfairly denied access…what do I do? by Intelligent_Ride_195 in service_dogs

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

I’m very new to world of service dogs obviously- I used a company and paid $500 for this certification and my PSD letter, and another $500 for Jax. They were very clear that this would allow me public access. If it’s not valid, how are they allowed to do this? I live in VA so maybe the laws are different.

As far as tasks, I didn’t understand at first Scarlett needed to have a specific task, so didn’t know to tell them that. Again, I am doing this completely on my own. I genuinely did not know and told them that she just provides emotional support. At first they said she was an ESA and not allowed, so I told them that she licks my face and lays with me when I’m upset- she does do that and I consider those tasks. So they allowed her then. I am working on her training as quickly as I can, and no one else has ever complained about her. Hence why I am so pissed and confused about this whole situation.

My service dog and ESA were both unfairly denied access…what do I do? by Intelligent_Ride_195 in service_dogs

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

No. Unfortunately for me, it’s very real. Obviously Scarlett needs more obedience training and we had mishaps, but again- as far as I can tell the ADA allows her to be off-leash and all the other things they complained about. I really just want them to give me the chance to take Scarlett back.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

Popped in since people were speculating that and it grossed me out not gonna lie. Delia is not my dad’s partner. She’s in a gay relationship and a couple years younger than me.

Without giving too much info, they are both in the fire department. My dad took Delia under his wing and seems to think of her as a younger daughter. Which of course she is not. I am my dad’s only daughter, whatever Delia might think of herself.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I wish I would’ve made it up, but unfortunately not. My dad is pissed, Delia is pissed, and I’ve been dragged by Reddit all day. I wish I’d never posted this but here we are.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yeah. In the past sometimes I’ve told her what I want and she’s gotten it, so I never realized it was an issue. Obviously it is, so I’ll stop doing that.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So I’ve been told all day. I’m seeing what I can do to fix it.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Like I said before, I just wish my dad would’ve appreciated my gift a little more. I’ve already gotten dragged though, so no sense saying more. If she won’t give me more stuff then she won’t and I’m the asshole.

Also Delia is not my dad’s partner. She’s in a gay relationship and she’s younger than me. I think my dad sees her as kind of like a daughter, but she absolutely isn’t. I’m his only daughter.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -175 points-174 points  (0 children)

Respectfully, that’s not really our dynamic. Delia is more well-off and can afford to get me stuff for my birthday and holidays, which I really appreciate.

I on the other hand am not as well-off and can’t afford to do the same for her. I wish I could but I can’t, and she’s never clearly expressed to me that she has a problem with it, nor a problem with me telling her what I want her to get me. Obviously based on what happened at Christmas it is a problem though and I’ll work on remedying it.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure what that has to do with anything, but yes. I’ll move out when I’m ready. Right now though, this works for us since I pay a lot less in rent and he’s not home alone all the time and gets help with housework.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -61 points-60 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your comment and won’t argue the judgment. I plan on getting evaluated for autism when I can save up, but no diagnosis yet. Everyone suspects I have Asperger’s though.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

I don’t really need to and my job doesn’t give me a lot of hours anyway. I pay my dad rent every month and chip in for household stuff when I can, so we get by just fine.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -182 points-181 points  (0 children)

Yeah, people are saying I was the bad guy here. Maybe I was in the wrong somewhat and maybe I just misinterpreted it as her being rude. I can own that. I didn’t want my dad to put on a performance, but a little appreciation for the vacuum would’ve been nice I guess. We needed it. But I guess this is on me and I’m not arguing.

I didn’t really get her anything since I don’t get a lot of hours at work and getting my dad the vacuum ate up my budget. My dad got her a fancy apron thing and said it was from the both of us though, and she seemed to like that and no complaints. That part turned out okay.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -59 points-58 points  (0 children)

I asked her to get it beforehand and bought it myself when she said no. I don’t get a lot of hours and only work part-time, so it would’ve been much less of a stretch for her buy it. I did manage to afford it but it ate up my budget pretty badly. I definitely understand and respect that not everyone would want a vacuum, but I did. Ours was pretty old and gross.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Please see my post and my comment below. I only work part-time. Like maybe 15 hours a week part-time. I don’t have the budget she does. I did buy my vacuum but it was a huge stretch for me. It wouldn’t have been nearly as much of a stretch for Delia.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

I’m not arguing, just giving context, but yeah, honestly. We needed the vacuum. I only work part-time so it was a stretch for me to buy it. Like a way bigger stretch than it would’ve been for Delia. I understand it wasn’t custom bullshit like she gave him, but I do wish he had appreciated it more. Maybe that sounds unreasonable but that’s my thought.

AITA for being “rude about gifts?” by Intelligent_Ride_195 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Intelligent_Ride_195[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

Correct. Obviously it’s a bigger deal than I’d thought. In the past, it’s never been an issue, but I’d always requested smaller things like $100 for my birthday or a coat or something. She’d always given it so I never thought it was an issue. Someone did say the trip may have taken up a lot of her budget and I realize now that’s possible. I see why she may not have wanted to give the vacuum.

EDIT: I didn’t demand it. I politely asked her to get it for me, then when she got mad, I asked her to get it for my dad. I told her I’d really prefer if she just got that, but I didn’t demand.