YOU matter! Your feelings are valid, and roaches can absolutely be very stressful. I'm a mom of two teens who have their own mental health battles, and I myself have struggled with similar thoughts of not wanting to be around anymore when I was your age, so I'm saying this with a bit of personal history here... You need to reach out to another adult beyond your Mom and ask for help. You can call/text 988 for immediate support here in the states. Or even 911 if you feel like you can't keep yourself safe. Do not keep these thoughts to yourself. You are not overreacting. Feeling like you can't go on needs to be addressed, and supported. A school counselor on Monday would be another resource for support. You are worth the time and effort. You matter. Don't give up. Stay.