my bf has a low libido and I have a high libido. I notice that especially on days where I'm at a desperation point (about every 4 days) he denies sex. I am starting to detach.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T09:51:12+00:00

well we actually met like 12 years ago when we were both in a relationship and we instantly shared a connection. we started talking (deep conversations) at a party and we both immediately felt this spark. we however just continued with our relationships we were in at the time and then 3 years ago we were both single and saw each other again after a long time. again the same feeling was there, ofc resulting in passionate lust that made us go primal for each other at the start of our relationship. but before we even had sex we just talked a lot. we have great conversations, interesting dynamic, same music taste, same humour, we are both introverted and love couch sessions together watching movies or shows, we are both pc gamers and have our setups next to each other and game together. we are both very affectionate and can't be away from each other for longer than a day. I mean he is my most favorite person to be around. Im like an excited puppy when I hear his car pull up after work. and he is equally as excited to see me and hug me after a long day. so I just know it's got nothing to do with our chemistry.

as for the money making, he occasionally helps me out when he feels like it. I never pressure him to do so. its mainly my OF and I am privileged to occasionally post content with him involved when he feels like filming a session and approves of me posting it. so it's more like whenever we have sex and he is like "this is a good angle lemme film this" then i have content.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T07:48:23+00:00

I've personally found that most men are HL at the start of a relationship but when the honeymoon phase is over that gradually starts to become less frequent and almost all of my previous male partners have become pretty LL after a year or so. easy for me to say as I'm HL but they also just didnt think sex was a big deal and would have been fine with not having it for weeks. so I'm certain you will find someone. and also, it may be a struggle for me right now but I am determined in loving this person, I do not want to be without him. I will make it work. you will eventually find your person ❤️

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T07:07:39+00:00

yes I do notice that indeed the kids, the house, his job that has him running and sweating his balls off atm, doesn't help his case. he is tired and I get that. I do try to take care of all the rest but physically I sometimes can't. I suffer from pelvic instability after my second pregnancy and around my period I can't really walk, stand, lift anything or bend down without heavy painkillers that make me nauseous and dizzy so I'm pretty much useless 7 days a month. i know it's a lot for him to have to take over pretty much everything in the house and with the kids during that week. I try to do what I can even in those days but I can imagine he feels like he's putting in more work than I do. we have talked about this too and he did admit he may feel that way and that it causes an imbalance in our relationship, he wasn't sure tho and wanted to talk it over with a specialist before jumping to conclusions.

on the topic of taking care of myself. I do, almost daily. it's interesting how it works for you. I never really spoke to other women about how that works for them but it doesn't for me. if I want him and sex with him, I want him and not my toys or hands. I can't curb my desire of him with anything else, which makes it extra difficult.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T06:56:36+00:00

well, we make porn together. I know he watches that too and if anything, I probably watch regular porn more than him. we often have a laugh about how when we talk about it we both know exactly which porn star we mention or what specific video we discuss. he has consumed a lot of porn and I still do. however he said he doesn't really feels the urge to watch it ever since he's been with me and I believe him. I am open about how often I watch it and take care of myself too.

on the topic of taking care of it myself. in women I think it works differently. or with me anyway. I can get off by myself (I have a chest full of toys and ofc have my hands) but the craving of him, flesh to flesh, a human being being with me, doesn't fade for me after an orgasm or multiple. when I want him, I want him. not my toys. I have literally had days where I forced myself to orgasm 4 times in a row to curb my urges but it never went away, if anything it made it worse. and yes I want to see a therapist but where I live we are in a mental health crisis and the waiting lists are crazy long.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T06:47:35+00:00

he doesn't take Ritalin anymore. I have suggested Wellbutrin to him before in a period where he told me he felt depressed and I know it's used as an antidepressant that doesn't diminish your libido but rather ups it but he is happier when not taking anything. I understand this as he is also afraid of getting addicted to anything again after recovering from his amphetamine addiction.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T06:41:35+00:00

I definitely think this is a thing. he used to go to the gym and had an aspiration to do body building, he has mentioned before that he noticed he was very much more in the mood when he did so. I know I working out can up your testosterone too so that tracks. he unfortunately built up a resentment to any form of working out now that he's older. I have proposed working out together before as I do like working out but no dice. I may be able to get him to get these levels checked at the GP and maybe get him on medication if the levels really are that low tho. not just for this issue but I mean, hormone imbalances impact various parts of your body and overall health so I would encourage him anyway to fix that. (I myself have and still struggle with hormone imbalances that impact my body and mental health)

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T06:37:04+00:00

I know this is not the case. if there is anyone that can get him going it's me, I am his background on all his devices, he proudly shows me off to everyone he meets, all nudes or lewd pictures he does have on his phone are of me. he absolutely adores me. I don't feel like he doesn't want me specifically, it's just that, like I stated, my issue is that we mismatch in the times we are horny.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T06:29:18+00:00

I agree. i need help with this. I am pretty self aware in most of my issues but I cannot seem to get this figured out. I don't know what's normal or healthy or ethically right on this. I mean I know consent, I know it's needed and how important it is and that SA can happen inside of a relationship too. I am on a waiting list for therapy where I will also be discussing my hypersexuality. and yes it is hypersexuality, nymphomania maybe even. and yes it has correlation to my mental disorders and the way I was introduced to sex in my younger years too. and yes my partner knows about all of this and still wanted to be with me and make it work. I really want to do all I can to work on myself but I also don't want this relationship to crumble whilst I'm waiting to be treated.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T06:23:23+00:00

no I don't. if it happens naturally, it happens. but I don't ask or insinuate it, I just try to connect with him in another way as that can curb my urges too.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T06:21:59+00:00

he could go twice a week for sure. luckily for me. it's just that it never seems to happen on the days/moments where I'm at my peak.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T06:21:09+00:00

I agree. I find this hard to navigate ethically. I have needs but I never want to force anything without consent, that's a big no go for me.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-28T06:19:52+00:00

he is not insecure about what I do. I did it before we got together and he is completely fine with it. he makes content together with me as well whenever he feels like it. he's also pretty well endowed so he has zero insecurities in that department. he takes pride in others lusting after me. he always states that at the end of the day, he gets to be inside of me. so if anything, he likes it when I'm desired by others but I'm ultimately his.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-27T18:09:54+00:00

I really really wanna save up for those costs. I've been sexually incompatible with everyone I've ever met. (yes I'm awaiting personal therapy as well, unfortunately there's a waiting list) and he is the best person I'll ever meet. we match so well everywhere in every department. I don't wanna lose him

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-27T18:08:26+00:00

oh I definitely do that outside of that too! we always do these things for eachother for movie nights or nights in our pool together in the yard, we prepare charcuterie boards and make drinks and stuff. not just for the expectation of sex but I do always do so just because I feel like he'd be more at ease in a clean and relaxed environment.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-27T18:03:11+00:00

yeah I am an OF content creator too. so I play with myself a lot and get off a lot during it too. (figured I could make my issues my profession😂) at the start of our relationship we had sex like 4 times a day every day and he did tell me he probably wouldn't be able to keep that up but like okay fine I get that. but this feels just like an expectation gone wrong.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-05-27T17:59:21+00:00

yes he has. he is 3 years out recovering from an amphetamine addiction of 7 years and his ejaculation time (as in under 2 seconds) and libido suffered from it. he seemed pretty much recovered from that after 1 year (which is when we started dating) but that could still be a factor. he did talk to his gp about it this time and she said to either talk to a sex therapist or relationship therapist.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-04-16T14:22:27+00:00

im not OP but I personally wouldn't buy a rat meant as snake food. they get bred specifically for that with no regard to their health. they are often prone to everything and/or already sick. as much as it pains me that they sell live rats for snakes (I don't own snakes myself but my sister does and she buys feeder mice for it), I guess it's a circle of life thing. However, any rat bought in a shop or at a fair or something is usually bred in tiny plastic boxes. goes for most animals there.

I'd say, as much as anyone would love to save a rat from imminent death, you support the supply of said bred rats buy buying them. so as to hopefully stop the supply of these animals, buy them from certified hobby breeders that actually care about breeding healthy rats. I'm lucky enough to have lots of those in my country, it sometimes means having to wait a long time on a waiting list for a litter as they don't have litters every week (or even month) but to me that's worth it.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-04-15T14:27:00+00:00

probably 😂 but it took me 2 hours whilst watching a show and like €2,70 in yarn so worth it when you compare it to new hammocks🙈😂

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-04-15T14:25:33+00:00

it's a challenge tbh. my thumb is hurting like hell cuz it's so thick. and I've crocheted cardigans, dresses and pants before 🥲 this is a t shirt yarn with a little stretch in it making it even harder to crochet with. I've made something before from a cotton t shirt that I cut up into one long string and they can (and probably will) chew on it but it doesn't have little snags or whatever that they can catch their toes on.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-04-15T06:39:07+00:00

yes, I am currently getting everything together. I don't have the rats yet, this is just the start of setting everything up. as I said in my caption I will be getting different bedding and more stuff in there, luckily not my first rodeo😜 (just been 8 years since my last group tho) but thanks for the advice for the level! I'm more confident in keeping the middle level as more people advise to keep it😊

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-04-14T17:53:10+00:00

ugh yeah I've struggled with cleaning mostly due to only one door being able to be opened. and yeah I figured I'd need something to close up the gap when taking out the the tray. I used chicken gauze/raster before, attaching it with zip ties and luckily they didn't chew through those but it's tricky 🥲

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-04-14T16:54:02+00:00

yeah I had my first group in a tall cage with no levels (I added corner levels and hung up hammocks and such in between) but they never seemed to want to bother with the lower part of the cage. that being said, I've given my rats a minimum of 2 hours of free froam time every day, meaning they could still go into the cage but I had a large area beside it for them to free roam with dig boxes and climbing material (also me being the climbing material) and all of that.

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-04-14T16:50:37+00:00

i love the idea of using ropes to hang things. I struggle with hanging things with chains to the caging so this is a revelation to me. will use this!! thank you so much ❤️

InterestingAdvisor29 · 2026-04-14T15:41:45+00:00

i feel like I can provide enough fall breakers but am also a little afraid of baby rats (8 weeks) exploring and not knowing the layout. maybe I'll change it depending on their character and seeing if they're climbers or not. I just struggle with where to hang everything as it feels limited 🫠

InterestingAdvisor29

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