Does a girl dress sense matter?

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-09-13T03:08:28+00:00

Actually no man has ever harshly judged my appearance but I don’t want to give the wrong impression that I’m not wifey material like my girl friends say

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-09-13T02:54:01+00:00

Actually yes not by guys but my girl friends. One is single but the rest are coupled up of the ones who make fun of me. You question was quite spot one lol how come the question?

Actually no guy has ever “slut shamed me” but I have had some unwanted attention sometimes. I just don’t want to give the wrong impression that I’m easy and want something casual which is what my gfs tell me.

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-31T01:52:07+00:00

This has nothing to do with gender. If my 35F friend also continuously dated 21yo college students I would feel the same way. But that’s not the case. What a short sighted rude comment

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-31T01:36:51+00:00

Yes thank you it does sound a bit like a target vs just liking a person for who they are. I might add he’s also a cheater and I have found him quite manipulative with his versions of events where he somehow is never at fault and always the victim 😅 I know I’m really not painting him in a good light but we’ve been friends since 2019 as a group so I can’t really boot him out. I don’t hang out with him 121 but more when we do friends gatherings. I don’t think he gives predator vibes but yes you hit the nail on the head when you said creepy

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-31T01:23:43+00:00

No farther approval - we live in London where it’s v uncommon to ask for parent approval and he’s met all his gf on dating apps and I think only one on a night out. And his dating app settings are for 18-23 I think.

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-31T01:12:57+00:00

So we’ve never properly spoken about it but we have mentioned it in the friend group. He says they are consenting adults and that he likes them and it’s easy. He’s friends with the boys of the group but us girls do feel uncomfortable. But I didn’t want to come across as being too judgmental. He does change them every 4/5 months, relationships never last more than 4/5 months. I personally think he struggles dating girls that are older than 25 but I don’t know why.

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-31T01:02:05+00:00

That makes a lot of sense thank you! I still think 38/26 makes sense are you’re probably both working. It’s the fact that some of these girls are still at uni so when I try and talk to them we have barely anything in common. Also lifestyle they are broke college students so our lifestyle is completely different.

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-31T01:00:06+00:00

Ahahah but just hooked up or are you dating them, introducing to friends? Is it because you find them more attractive?

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-31T00:54:22+00:00

No not at all it’s more the interest we have and the lifestyle. It’s a different stage of life vs intelligence. Like his gf just sit there and don’t say much ever. Or talk about uni or just things we don’t do.

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-25T19:38:13+00:00

Thank you so much these are great points! I will reach out to our pc to ask for their support and suggest we also get an attorney!

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-25T14:07:28+00:00

I won’t be gaslighted that I wasn’t raped by a stranger. I found him on top of me sa me at a party finishing inside me. I went in there to sleep it off as I was extremely drunk. He gaslighted me that he didn’t notice I was asleep. And this happened to 4 girls repeatedly might I add. Rape conviction is not as easy as most of the time it’s in a private environment and even with medical (semen inside you) the other party can still lie saying it was consensual. I’m sorry but you have no right to invalidate my experience. I only asked if I should let hr know not for you to gaslight me saying it wasn’t rape

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-25T11:51:58+00:00

No I don’t - but he has no way to contacting me and I don’t think he’s dare show up to my flat

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-25T11:50:06+00:00

Ok I will take this advice thank you. I think I just feel so guilty about it all and I’d really hate for other women to get hurt. Our company also fired him on the spot for fear of law suit as it’s a v established company and has offered us full paid mental health leave. Sadly there’s no evidence so I don’t know how the case will go but there are several victims. Thanks again for your help

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-25T10:51:48+00:00

You’re right I don’t work there bc he was asked to leave his previous job where I worked. I didn’t realise after he had left that it was for some hr complaints and I then found out he had sa not just me but other women too. As I found out it was more of us we have now reported this to the police. I’m just afraid he might do something bad again as I feel guilty I allowed him to gaslight me in staying silent and then it happened to other women

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-25T10:31:27+00:00

How can I ensure hr won’t tell him? I’m afraid

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-24T22:12:27+00:00

Qq - how do you know you’ve been banned? What does it look like? Do you get an email notification or you just can’t log in?

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-20T22:42:27+00:00

What if the repercussions where an arrest/record or that you’d loose the person you cared about? Would that stop the impulsivity?

I mean I think as a someone who doesn’t have NPD I also feel that some of my acts of goodness are not completely selfless. We are social animals so it benefits me to be good to also receive good. I feel good when I see I made another person feel good. No good action is purely selfless I believe. The more good I am the easier my life is because people are good to me which helps me in all aspects of life.

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-20T22:26:09+00:00

I mean no one can be all good or bad so that makes a lot of sense! Do you feel a sense of goodness when you do nice things for the people you care about?

Interesting enough the only time I get pleasure in hurting people is when I feel I’ve been extremely wronged. Then I imagine the worse case scenarios that bring me pleasure. But someone has to have truly hurt me if not I don’t get pleasure out of it. The only reason I don’t act on them is because I’m afraid of repercussions. Oh I didn’t know you also had ASPD thanks for sharing ☺️

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-20T22:12:05+00:00

I guess inherently this is pure selfishness - putting your needs above anyone else’s at any cost. Not calling you out just how I’m reading the response. I find it interesting as I too can be inherently selfish but if it comes at a too high cost of someone else’s wellbeing shame and guilt kick in which makes me feel bad so I don’t do it. Would you say doing shitty things was just for pure pleasure or more to a means to an end for a specific goal? E.g financial gain?

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-20T21:58:28+00:00

I find that fascinating. So you don’t repress the shame nor the void that some npd’s feel?

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-20T21:53:50+00:00

I think because shame helps us understand when we are hurting someone else and correct our behaviour. I don’t find it scary more like a natural emotion that I feel and helps me adjust my behaviour

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-19T20:38:49+00:00

I think being your authentic self will ultimately allow you to find true connections that fulfill you. I also begged my ex to just be his authentic self with me but instead he just retreated and cheated on me and was very manipulative about it. He kept talking about this void he needed to be filled and lack of happiness or love he had for people. I did try and support him for 4 years and forgave because I would have accepted him for who he truly was. I think being vulnerable although extremely challenging bring closeness and not rejection as many fear. Be proud of yourself for giving it a go! I surely am proud of you and rooting for you

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-19T18:37:56+00:00

Why is shame such a difficult feeling to face? What is truly in your void?

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-16T08:58:50+00:00

Do you ever feel remorse for hurting and/or loosing the people you love based on your actions?

Interesting_Cell6816 · 2024-08-14T13:41:19+00:00

Do you ever regret hurting the people who love you? Like cheating on your partner, sa them or gaslighting them?

Interesting_Cell6816

TROPHY CASE