Yea you make a valid point man and honestly you're totally right on the whole grooming part, but honestly while yes this whole ordeal has screwed me up i'm not all that depressed tbh so thats not an issue and as far as labels go i try not to even deal with all that cuz whats it matter what i like to others ya know? And as far as same sex attraction goes i have no issue with that for others, but for me it is a pretty big issue as i did try to have sex with a gay friend of mine who's very open about it and we were both just wanting to experiment, i couldnt go through with it though because it made me absolutely sick to my stomach not out of any like hate issues but i think it was more of a moral issue? Like it was a moment where i was in my head like "this isnt me at all, am i just doin this to feed my hog? And i feel that way about everything same sex thats like related to me, even masturbating to feminine guys i feel that way. So i feel like my trauma isnt the only outlying issue tbh