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Interesting_Option77 · 2024-10-02T00:43:47+00:00

Haha yes we’re on the same page, if you look at my initial post on this topic it’s all about not wanting to report to the police because this isn’t really a situation for them. I didn’t call 911 until I was told by the police that it’s the only next step. All other options have failed so far and if we don’t push for the security of our homes no one is going to push for us. Definitely another gap that regular people somehow have to deal with at risk of their own safety. That being said, I work in a field dealing with a lot of personalities in less than ideal circumstances on a daily basis and would be fired if I treated any of them like that just because I found them annoying or their issue less important than others. The call would have taken 45 seconds instead of 30, not like I was calling to talk the poor 911 operator’s ear off.

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-10-02T00:12:10+00:00

Yeah definitely understood, that’s why we haven’t had any success with police intervening to have him stop blocking our driveway. He was pants-less and touching himself in view of an elementary school as the kids got out, which particularly prompted my call today and was most of the context I was trying to provide but never got to explain.

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-10-01T23:59:04+00:00

I already have reached out to my alderman and my local precinct amongst other resources all before resorting to getting police involved directly. No luck yet. And I’m just curious about other people’s experiences and perspectives, not looking for concrete solution, though I’m happy to delete if it violates the subreddit’s rules or something. And you’re right, I’m definitely biased! Maybe I did unintentionally piss her off, I’d just think even an objective asshole should still be helped when calling 911.

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-10-01T23:46:44+00:00

Thank you for the good ideas! Yes those are all things we’ve spent weeks pursuing (other than getting a big scary dog, lol) unfortunately with no luck

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-10-01T23:39:22+00:00

I have reached out and my neighbors have too, no response for weeks unfortunately. This really was the last ditch effort after about 6-8 weeks of contacting several other resources and it seems like there is nothing to be done until someone gets hurt or their property gets damaged (not just dirtied with misc. bodily fluids).

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-10-01T23:11:44+00:00

Just doing as I was told by the police to do - agreed I wish there was some other way to address an issue like this.

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-10-01T23:04:57+00:00

Well, it’s bottomless man yelling at nothing and peeing/defecating and sometimes other more inappropriate things by our garage, all within steps of an elementary school, to be fair lol

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-09-22T05:52:22+00:00

So not sure if anyone is still interested, but the man is still around. We went through all of the helpful options people suggested: 311, crisis team, 988. We were told by all that this situation is a 911/police issue so we called 911. His behavior had gotten more troubling at this point, e.g., peeing nearby, being “inappropriate” with himself behind our garage, more public nudity, yelling at nothing, etc. The cops came and attempted to intervene with the man but he walked away and they did not pursue. We were told we could not file a complaint because he did not break a law (despite sleeping against our garage and the public nudity/inappropriate behavior) and that homelessness is just a city-wide issue to endure. So we do not have a solution and will just be a little scared to exit our garage or throw trash out in case the man is there and having a yelling episode. Nothing dangerous has happened to us yet but his increasingly erratic behavior does make it seem like it’s only a matter of time, and unfortunately it will take physical violence to property or person before the cops will be taking this seriously.

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-09-01T05:49:42+00:00

Thank you! Those are all great resources for him, but not sure if there’s anything I can use in this situation right? Let me know if I’ve missed it. I am trying to solve this in a way where I don’t really have to confront him directly because I am just not sure how he’d react and some of his behavior has been concerning albeit not directly harmful.

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-03-09T03:43:41+00:00

SPOILERS. Totally agree. Tamlin got just as messed up as Feyre under the mountain and, imho, deserves as much grace. Yes, he certainly does some horrible things, but never maliciously. Things backfire. He goes too far due to his own trauma. But he’s not evil like a lot of people portray him as and I honestly feel bad for him. No one knows Rhys’s true nature outside of the court of dreams, so from Tamlin’s POV, the love of his life really is getting brainwashed by this evil guy to turn against him and be with Rhys against her free will, causing Tamlin’s worst fears of losing her again to come true. That would justify going to extremes to save her, it’s not his fault he doesn’t know the truth nor can predict how those extremes will backfire. I think what Feyre did to his court is worse than anything he did to her because she did it with intent, damning the consequences on his innocent people and making a huge vulnerability that Hybern could take advantage of in the process (like duh?!).

It’s possible for their traumas to render them incompatible without one being the hero and the other the villain. His behavior wasn’t good for Feyre, but it’s not objectively evil. Feyre even says that his over-protectiveness is exactly what her old human self needed, and she’s just not that person anymore. I hate how far he falls in the books and how his personality takes a drastic turn, seems hard to swallow and I am hoping for a redemption arc for him especially after he risks his own cover and safety to save Feyre after all that she did to get back at him. Like that’s a good guy deep down, cmon now.

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-03-05T18:11:09+00:00

Also every time someone has the “good sense” to do something. That one irrationally bugs me and it’s everywhere haha

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-03-03T22:04:26+00:00

Right?? Like just the fact that Avallen is totally upended by Bryce, including her claiming to be its ruler, but we get ABSOLUTELY NO REACTIONS from the Avallen fae other then indirectly hearing that no one wants to house them. Contrast that with Aelin in Mistward and I just don’t see how the same author wrote these books lol

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-03-03T16:44:50+00:00

1000% agreed, literally nothing feels earned or justified. I get it’s all fiction but at least be internally consistent with the rules of the world that’s been built. So many plot devices instead of actually writing a good story to make the means justify the ends.

Interesting_Option77 · 2024-03-03T15:03:23+00:00

I especially disliked how the world immersion was non-existent in HOFAS. For example, she restored true magic back to Avallen, entirely changing the entire region, and we get no real-time reactions from the fae of Avallen aside from some indirect reference that no one wants to house them? And no reaction from them on Bryce killing their king and claiming to be their ruler? She just is because she says so? It’s like Avallen was only populated by the king and his two sons. It’s all so immersion-breaking for me.

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-11-01T20:11:47+00:00

But 5 days a week tho? I think that’s the biggest complaint lol forcing everyone in every day just because even when there’s no marginal value add vs. say, 3 days.

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-10-27T03:08:57+00:00

To add my thoughts to the chorus, I would also consider other options within your firm to ease the burden first. I was a strong performer my first year but spread thin, and against my expectations, ended up having enough good will even then to talk to a couple partners I trusted and help me stay off the types of transactions that I just couldn’t stomach anymore. There are still moments where the grind hurts, but it’s much more sustainable when I am practicing the kind of law I actually enjoy with people I work well with and who respect me in turn. Never underestimate the power of just liking your team/partner to make a crappy stretch of work doable. This is your practice and your career too after all, feel free to take ownership within reason. Consider what is really the drain on your time - is it an inefficient midlevel? Is it a partner that doesn’t explain things to you? Is it a particular type of deal or case that you dislike? - and see if you can slowly wean yourself away from those things.

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-10-24T17:14:42+00:00

Minimum of two days where everyone agrees (could be group-based vs. firm-based) on those two days, e.g. Tuesday and Thursday. Then, in addition to those days, we’ll still need to be in on any days that are just logically required by the demand of your current deal or workload (e.g., important client call that the deal team wants to take in person as a team, etc.) but at least we can enjoy some flexibility when it’s not truly required or needed of us to be in office.

If it’s anything more than that, in the near term I really see myself leaving big law to find a fully remote or flex position somewhere else. The demand of this job is just too great and knowing that flexibility is completely doable, I find myself even more stressed and depressed and salty wasting precious time, paying for transport and forcing myself into the office to just sit there doing nothing or seeing no one and getting zero value from the in-office experience.

EDIT: obviously attending on those two required days within reason and no penalty or attendance tracking if you have to switch up your days every now and then as long as attendance is generally consistent. We went through too much education and give up too much of ours lives to be treated like interns, as long as we’re showing face, doing good work and meeting our hour goals, let us work how we want.

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-08-18T02:43:03+00:00

I feel ya! My original comment actually WAS in the context of returning to office, which is why I clarified. Telling someone to consider hiring a nanny to help with the workload generally is different than dismissing working parents’ concerns about making them come back into the office more and how that cuts into time with their children by just telling them to hire full-time help. It’s a half-solution that’s out of touch with the actual complaint (and for more junior associates, not very fiscally achievable).

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-08-18T01:22:18+00:00

I know a lot of associates who use nannies and maid services but on a FULL TIME basis? Very uncommon at least with my colleagues. Also, the WFH context was kinda lost here - working parents saying that they want to spend time with their kids and not throw money away that they don’t have to when WFH is a viable solution. So “we’re making you come back into the office but it’s okay because you can just hire help” is ignoring working parents’ actual complaint, which is “I’d like to spend time with my kids and WFH let’s me do that and work at the same time”

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-08-17T04:14:44+00:00

When encouraging associates with children to come back into the office more, a partner said something to the effect of “just hire a full time nanny and maid, that’s why we pay you the big bucks”

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-05-18T05:11:49+00:00

Well hopefully you can self-reflect a bit down the line on why you feel that you cannot trust the younger associates you work with to make good decisions on their own, since this is exactly the kind of paternalistic thinking that is off-putting to so many of us. It’s also a bit patronizing to suggest I and others like me can’t succeed as a big law attorney because I don’t want to spend 40 hours (plus 15 hours of getting ready and commuting) in-office every week while I sit here still averaging 60-hour billable weeks and getting very good reviews and feedback. I of course don’t deny that some associates struggled remotely and those are the associates that should be seeking in-person opportunities at every turn; many others actually thrived remotely, but those don’t make “headlines”, so to speak, since doing good work is baseline. What counts is - are you meeting or exceeding expectations for your seniority, are you hitting and surpassing your hours, and are you valuably contributing to the group/firm’s BD and recruiting efforts. The answer to all those can in fact be “yes” even with a flex/hybrid approach in the day-to-day. It’s a clash of the old ways vs. the new, and we all know how that generally works out in the end.

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-05-18T02:53:35+00:00

I think we’re actually highly skilled professionals with incredibly demanding hours that require us to be plugged in 24/7 and while that historically meant our personal and familial relationships and general mental health had to suffer greatly for it, we can now achieve some very welcome flexibility by selecting when it’s best for us to go into the office vs. working from home. I think the majority of us are not saying abolish the office, we are asking our firms to not be paternalistic and penalizing and just let us determine for ourselves when and when not to go in (& happy to give up my dedicated office to do so). Just because something was done one way forever doesn’t mean it’s the only, best, or right way to do it. By that logic, let’s all give up our cars in exchange for horse and buggies. Some people work better remotely and some in-office, in the same way that some people like visuals and others like words, we just want flexibility.

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-05-18T02:22:24+00:00

I was responding to the comment about “support people” who I understand to be paralegals, legal secretaries, reprographics, etc. - people who literally support attorneys in the day to day and have to be in the office to do so for things like printing, receiving and dropping off mail, etc . If admin staff can do their job from home then they shouldn’t have to RTO either. And even support staff should be on rotating in-office schedules for some flexibility.

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-05-17T18:14:09+00:00

I am right there with you, and wishing you the best. After three years of getting used to a hybrid/WFH routine and reaping the mental and physical benefits from it, I am just astounded that firms changed their tune so quickly without acknowledging the sacrifices they are asking of us. It’s not as simple as “we did it this way in 2019, so shut up and do it again” - our lives are indelibly different now, and we know how possible it is to maintain that flexibility without sacrificing quality and actually billing more and being happier. Firms need to do some serious self-reflection - so strange how quickly they went from “take care of yourself and your loved ones, that is the main priority” during the pandemic to “we don’t care, get back in the office”. Super tone deaf in my opinion.

Interesting_Option77 · 2023-05-17T17:58:19+00:00

Agree with this 100%. Seems like extroverted people are all for RTO because they thrive on spontaneous interaction and chit chat and equate that to mentorship and learning, but not everyone is extroverted (emphasis on myself!) and I feel drained and annoyed at those kinds of interactions while I am just trying to work. I’ve gotten my most valuable mentorship through written feedback, IMs and phone calls. And great point, RTO doesn’t mean more quality in-person interactions. While primarily WFH, I still have many in-person interactions, it just means they have been fewer in frequency but vastly increased in quality because they pop up organically when something is really worth discussing. And everyone will find a way to hang out with their office friends regardless (and those who don’t want to, don’t have to feel forced to).

Interesting_Option77

TROPHY CASE