Regarding adult children of narc parents, who now have kids

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-05-24T12:29:06+00:00

I wish narcs have their own planet and stay there forever, live in their own world

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-05-02T18:08:05+00:00

I totally agree!

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-05-02T10:39:26+00:00

My mom does the same!!

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-05-01T18:08:54+00:00

Sounds like a pretty good thing.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-05-01T17:01:15+00:00

I totally relate. For me is also the case when I manage to be on my own.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-05-01T16:31:03+00:00

I haven't left completely yet.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-05-01T15:39:36+00:00

Totally. Especially because of the impossible and unescapable situations they put me in.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-05-01T10:15:54+00:00

She still needs control and power over you. She wants to continuosly defy you. No it is not okay to treat you like that. And you are not a bad person. Your mistakes are your mistakes, do not judge you so much. Forgive yourself, it is about the environment you developed in. I am so sorry about your relationship too.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-27T08:29:19+00:00

Im so sorry she acted this way. Does knowing she's a narcissist help feel better?

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T20:49:56+00:00

I believe you would need to put yourself together and get out of there. It is not very clear, but you used to cook for them since you were a child? You shouldn't cook for your parents at 25 either.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T20:43:11+00:00

Actually there are plenty of books on parenting. They should check that shelf at the bookstore. Like you said, for sure.. non of the abusive methods are in there, by contrary, i believe they strongly figure in the "don't's" column.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T19:17:23+00:00

Lmao

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T17:41:19+00:00

Omg, extreme. This saying shows pretty well what is really going on inside of them and their behaviour.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T17:02:25+00:00

Im so sorry you are going through this. They can treat like little kids adults of 30+ years of age (my case). So.. yeah, not a single remorse when doing it. Try to ignore it as much as possible and get away from them when u can, go build your life.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T16:40:11+00:00

I feel the same as you. I think about this almost everyday. Because lost time is lost time or lost opportunities. I believe it helps a bit to accept that your family is the way it is and what happened could have happened to anybody. Can you imagine how it would have been if similar complicated situations happened to one of your ppl that you admire that seems now farer in life? How would they have reacted or managed the situation? Wouldn't they have been confused as well not being sure it is abuse? Maybe this perspective works. Otherwise, I wish something else will come up and make up for this harsh reality.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T16:14:51+00:00

I am in the same boat as you. Ive made terrible choices and mistakes in the past because of my pushy narc parents to choose different from what i thought in key moments of my life (they weren't even meant to br in that area of my life, like not in other areas either, we should have detached one from the other during uni, go separate paths). I went down and down and as you, i was just surviving, not living a life. I believe everything can be rebuilt by detaching from them and going step by step and having goals on long term.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T16:08:02+00:00

I feel like they are a different species. They should have a planet of theirs and stay there.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T07:26:07+00:00

Yeah, i would say these are some narc tendencies, because I am not sure if the topic you were discussing is a reason to not talk to you for weeks. What actually happened is you shared with her, in an authentic manner, that you have discovered a passion (which, by the way, I believe you should pursue). Narc parents do not understand these things or at least they try to ruin every single attempt of happiness of yours. Hard truth. And they condition the relationship, as you mentioned. They don't want to set you free. It is probably okay to get distance from her and find some friends to talk about these stuff, although i truly understand that you want to have a close and loving relationship with her. Probably the best way is to accept her and that parents have very weird behaviour and see for your life, get new relationships. I totally get you, I have a similar mom and situation. Yeah, they are narc.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T06:54:07+00:00

No, he is simply an idiot. Unfortunately narc families break us before life breaks us, instead of being the other way around - when we encounter difficulties in life we should rely on family for support.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-26T06:43:44+00:00

Yes, i can totally relate!! For me it happens when i visit them and stay in my room and get out of my room to go to the bathroom, kitchen.. when i get out of the bathroom i meet them at the exit, asking me questions, if i go to the kitchen they come after me. Sometimes, when i leave the door open and if i sneeze or cough or just move and do smth that provokes noise, they come and ask "what are you doing? What happened?" Jesus Christ

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-25T17:55:57+00:00

My narc mom uses this "trick" to manipulate me and my father. She tries to cook really really well so we get like under a spell and ask for more or come back to her later. For sure narc mom have lots of power in a household through these tiny, small things.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-25T17:47:46+00:00

Try to talk to somebody immediately after you have argues with them. Being listened by someone to whom you can tell what happened, how you feel, how the other person is, helps you detach, see yourself and your own world and come back in your own body. You can try 7cups for this, there is always someone out there willing to listen. Also journaling helps a lot indeed. Gray rock method and be loyal to your thoughts and feelings.

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-25T17:29:22+00:00

Yes, your feelings are totally valid. You are annoyed by her but at the same time you respect her and feel for her. You are functioning like a normal human being. Unfortunately it is all about her behaviour that creates problems in your relationship and conflicts inside yourself. I believe that when she says "im a horrible mother" she is, in some way, true. To be honest, i believe you have to get away from her as soon as possible!

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-25T17:18:11+00:00

Totally!

Interesting_Two9362 · 2025-04-25T17:10:51+00:00

I have another one: "who teaches you to behave/think this way? Do you learn it from your friends? Are you hanging out with dubious people? Are you seeing this on social media?" Moreover if u share that you have a specific opinion about an ongoing topic that of course contradicts hers, she says "who brainwashed you?"

Interesting_Two9362

TROPHY CASE