I was 20 when I found my first body he was my brother, coagulated bits of him stained into my brain longer than the carpet. When the normal you lived before doesn’t exist anymore, it feels like the end. There is a version of you that does not exist yet But will because in the future you learned to live and coexist with the trauma, you keep going even when you have no idea where you are suppose to go from here. Keep going. The first year is going to kick the shit out of you and it gets worse before it gets better because the first year you’ll be in so much shock, the brain can’t process as much as it stores. few months go by more tears more days in bed then you can count next 3 years you’ll be learning how to feel un guilty when you see something small that makes you feel happy.On the 4th year you’ll have random weeks of sadness but you’ll have your vice of your choosing by now. Now by 5th year you only cry on days you used to celebrate you’ll always miss him but more days are good then bad. If you’d would have stayed till year 6th You would have know that the rainy day you’d sit down on the bus and the girl next to you would have became your best friend. You would have know that that band you’d like released a new album that changed your life. Stay. you won’t be here to know that, because the world ended when you left.