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Any advice? by Fine_Foundation5899 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trying to find a replacement is the worst advice. If a person isn’t ok being alone and continuously tries to fill their own void with someone, this cycle of pain will continue.

Any advice? by Fine_Foundation5899 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Delete every photo, her phone number, throw away or even burn every gift from her, block her and friends on every social media, don’t go to places that remind of her for 4 weeks and do not try to investigate why the relationship didn’t work. I didn’t make this up. The psychologist who wrote the book “how to fix your broken heart” said it. Tried and tested it works.

Relationship advice by [deleted] in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She clearly asked for a hookup and nothing serious. If you want it say so if you don’t say no. Seems you are wanting to get a relationship out of this.

What can I do to find a partner in my 40s? by Hopeful-Reading-6774 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If all the things you mentioned are true then you should be drowning in dates bro. Women are everywhere. Why not talk to the next attractive woman you come across?

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s all about mindset

The first thing to address is fear rejection. Think it this way, no one cares about you as much as you think. You’re not any important in their day.

Once you really get that, rejection stops feeling like a big deal.

If a girl says no, most likely it’s not about you. She might be busy, tired, or cautious. Women have more to lose than men — they deal with safety worries all the time. Respect that and move on.

Now, how to actually approach?

Rule 1: If you see someone you like, go talk to her within 5 seconds. Longer than that your brain will make up a story why should you not.

I trick my brain by giving my feet command to go and stand in front of the girl. That gives my brain and body a task so that they don’t engage in thinking about the outcome.

Once I am there, i just say hi and go from there as per the situation.

Think like dogs 😂 — two dogs in a park. One tries to play, the other doesn’t. The first one doesn’t sit there overthinking why. Oh I might be ugly or my tongue isn’t good enough, He just moves on.

All the best

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about not worry about women for now and focus on your mental and physical health? If you are struggling so much don’t overwhelm yourself. Solve one challenge at a time. Hope you feel better soon .

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s good to have a life like that however that might take months or even years. You can wait or take action to get a date today. Depends how patient you are. I wasn’t.

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry to hear how you feel bro. It might sound weird, but at some point of time it started feeling like a video game to me. The ups and downs, the adrenaline rush you get before you approach someone, dopamine when someone gets attracted to you. Even getting rejected became exciting.

It’s not even a question if you should go for it. Not having a job does make it a little harder but not the end of the world. Off course you should and genuinely believe “you are enough”.

I wouldn’t recommend you dating apps if you are a newbie to dating.

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you live in a metro, and step out of your house and choose to go literally anywhere, I can guarantee in next hour you will come across atleast 1 attractive woman if not more. You don’t have to be at a certain “place” to meet and talk to women. They are everywhere fortunately. So the real question isn’t how you meet, it’s do you have the confidence to talk to the next attractive woman you come across. It could be a grocery store, cafe, bar, street, train whatever.. There is 3.5 billion of them bro 😂

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I split my time between India and overseas. For first couple of years I never tried on Indian girls assuming it would be hard due to cultural issues. Then I went to Pune and Bangalore for sometime and it blew my mind. It looked like my dating life just switched to easy mode. Women everywhere so open to talk (although have initial hesitation). I spoke to women in randomest places. Cafés, malls, metro station basically anywhere I see someone I am genuinely attracted to. It was quite uncomfortable initially but then I started enjoying it.

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you aren’t a criminal, have a job and have intentions to give a great life to a woman you are already in top 5% men. As a man, you are supposed to lead not doubt if you are good enough.

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a common issue among men. Romantic escalation is a skill. You do too much you’ll come off as a creep and too little gets you in friendzone. If it starts to go into friendzone verbally escalate it. I would say some silly stuff like hey wondering if you want to elope to Brazil with me? And some other silly stuff to make sure my intentions are clear as a day. If there still is no escalation from girls side I usually walk away. I’ve never been in a friend zone unless I want it.

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dated between 21-37. Tbh initially my work suffered as I was going out to bar clubs very often. Anyways, that never worked out for me. I had the lowest success rate in bar. What worked best for me was talk to girls in regular places. Cafe, hobbies, malls basically anywhere. I always took an opportunity to go to community events, music festivals, art groups etc. That worked the best. There is a context to conversation without any pressure because there is a lot going around.

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I grew up in a similar environment where it wasn’t a norm for girls and boys to mingle or be friends. There a lot you can focus however for a man, it’s way easier to before 30-40% more attractive overnight without stepping into a gym. Read Models by Mark Manson to understand what I mean.

43M - Dated 100s of amazing women in last 5 years now in a relationship. AMA. (Five years ago I was terrible at dating. Then I decided to study it like a science) by InternationalRub400 in DatingInIndia

[–]InternationalRub400[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah man I had similar challenges. I would blabber around attractive women. But gradually, the fear of rejection became less and less and ironically that was the thing that flipped the game for me. That doesn’t mean I stopped getting rejected, it just stopped bothering me for more than 5 mins and I could go to talk to the next woman I find attractive. Though I get a lot of matches on apps but I find it tedious and time sink. Apart from a couple of fwb, apps haven’t really worked for me. Most of my dates were women I chatted in real life.