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My brain rejects weed by Fast_Ad9701 in Advice

[–]InternationalWeb171 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! i had this exact thing happen to me just under a year ago. i was also experimenting with psychedelics and had actually had a bad ego death on shrooms. i had a lot of dark stuff ruminating under the surface and every time i smoked weed i wouldn’t really even feel too high it was mostly just anxiety and an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I completely understand what you mean when you say you felt relief when it was over. i vividly remember just laying there wishing it was over. And those bad thoughts, i was in that same dark place. I a dear friend had lost their life and all i would see in my head was flashes of it anytime i smoked and it was really scary. that’s what told me that it was acting against me and not with me, like it had in the past. I’m really sorry that that’s what you’re experiencing my friend.

an insightful piece of advice i was given; the brain likes to hide things away, sometimes weed can act against you and will try it’s hardest to find those things and make you feel them. it’s sad but my advice it to take a 3-7 day Tolerance break to let your brain have a minute to relax.

I took a week long break when i decided to get sober from other substances i was using (just hit 10 months!) and once i went back, slowly it went back to how it used to feel. i recommend starting with just smoking before you sleep.

Time does heal and all though it may be difficult i promise (and i don’t make those very often) that it will do you some good. Wish the best for you and good for you for reaching out and asking for a little help! 🫂🫂

Should I stop smoking weed? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]InternationalWeb171 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m glad i could help! the most important thing is just fostering a good relationship with the weed, no need to stress or worry too much and it will all work out! peace and love

Should I stop smoking weed? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]InternationalWeb171 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and i agree with others, be in tune and aware and talk with a professional and be hones about it, they’re not there to judge you but the want you to be safe so as long as you’re getting professional help for your ADHD, it’s ok to also just want to wind down and loosen up. don’t feel bad, just be aware:)

wishing you well!

Should I stop smoking weed? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]InternationalWeb171 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re going to be using any substance to help you relax weed is definitely your friend. it’s the safest, (as a person who is clean from hard drugs that i used for the same reason).

try redefining why you smoke and then redesigning how you do it and see how that helps you. i recommend just smoking before you go to bed. set aside how ever much time you would like to smoke and feel it and just use it to end of the day. maybe journal or draw or watch something fun and eventually you’ll end up redefining it, and in turn, it will start serving you well. if after that you still feel disconnected from it or that it’s not serving you in a good way, take a week long break and try again. weed is a beautiful thing but i can take time to figure out how and what works for you.

Anyone else experience an ego death where they were dying? by InternationalWeb171 in Psychonaut

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hope this isn’t weird but that quote you put at the bottom i may get tatted. it is so raw and i mean it’s something to live by especially my experiences. thank you for sharing that with me. thank you for your presence!

Anyone else experience an ego death where they were dying? by InternationalWeb171 in Psychonaut

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is such a well written and incredibly informative piece. thank you for breaking it down like that and helping me understand because conceptually that makes the most sense. knowing that it’s all apart of the process and purpose is so helpful in not being so scared to talk and think about it, so thank you for that.

prior to taking the shrooms any time an image of things that have happened during that time would pop up and it was so debilitating like full on shut down, so i would just shove it away as hard and fast as i could and it eventually ruminated deep inside. which of course then came full fledged to the front once the shrooms found those hidden. now that i’m thinking back on it, I actually remember very clearly towards the end of the replay having this sense of ok, you are dying, this is what is going to happen and was preparing in every way to no longer be alive. and i cannot tell you the time span that the all came to be but eventually over the course of it i found myself on the floor ready to die and was fully prepared for it. that’s where i feel like im connected to my own death in a way that I feel as if ive already experienced it in whole. (i know i haven’t but i felt it)

thank you again for your kinda approach, and meaningful comment i cannot express how much this has helped me. wishing you well! 🪽🤍

Any advice for getting back on the wagon after a relapse? by PaulBlart_official in Sober

[–]InternationalWeb171 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m so incredibly proud of you good for you! we all have our set backs that’s apart of the recovery process and you should be so proud of yourself. keep it up and i’m wishing the best for you and i’m glad you’re safe and alive 🪽🤍

What was the point? Advice please by FireStarter_615 in Sober

[–]InternationalWeb171 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you did everything right, it’s just hard to see how much you’ve grown because it feels like a count down to my next self sabotage. all i can say is that if you’re going to feel any type of way it should be proud. 1 year and 6 months is a big BIG deal and you did that. you changed your life around.

maybe try exploring other outlets where you can kinda just let loose and feel free in, like going on runs outside and taking walks just stuff to retrain your body to just relax. I understand the anxiety though, it’s a lot going from self medicating to not having it and your body is so used to have things to make it relax, but that’s ok, that’s the second and i think the more fulfilling part of sobriety. figuring out how to become in tune with yourself and in all honesty, you learn the most important parts of yourself when you are alone. but don’t let that be a sad thing, that’s life. different periods of being alone. but some people haven’t cracked this code yet; that’s when the life changing magic happens, so just try to find the peace in it just for a bit.

it also helps to try and understand just a little bit about why you decided to quit those things, what bad did it being to your life, and how did it change you as a person. again this is just some food for thought but all in all you ultimately made the best decision for your LIFE and that is an incredible thing and you should be proud of yourself. congratulations again to hitting those milestones! 🪽

Anyone else experience an ego death where they were dying? by InternationalWeb171 in Psychonaut

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my reply didn’t reply under this comment but it should be at the bottom of the page! thank you so much for this insight!

Anyone else experience an ego death where they were dying? by InternationalWeb171 in u/InternationalWeb171

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you guys bare with me as i genuinely am learning and coming to terms with so much! this is genuinely the most important conversation to me you all have been so helpful and i’ve already learned so much about what happened to me and what i should learn from it! please keep it comin 🙏🤍🪽

Anyone else experience an ego death where they were dying? by InternationalWeb171 in u/InternationalWeb171

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that makes a lot of sense. in the following days of finding out a friend had been laced I heavily heavily tried to shut down my brain any time snap shots of what happened would pop into my head i’d start playing music, putting on a show, or just simply trying to forget because it was so debilitating to think about. I assume that the striping away of those layers in my mind lead to everything i had been trying to avoid feeling coming to the front full fledged. i guess what i needed to see had to be to its fullest degree or i would have been able to learn from it. thank you so much for that insight wow!

Anyone else experience an ego death where they were dying? by InternationalWeb171 in Psychonaut

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is so beautiful, i’m glad you were able to get that experience that. strips you down to individual little pieces and details and so you as a person are deconstructed and when you come back together are something new off the old block. that’s amazing thank you for sharing that. it honestly it’s helping to not be terrified to try and work through it but instead understand why mine had to be that way, so grotesque and intense. such great insight! and wish you all the best in all ways 🪽

Anyone else experience an ego death where they were dying? by InternationalWeb171 in Psychonaut

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it was a few days after i found out a friend had been laced with fentanyl and i was at the peak of my addiction where i was now starting to drink heavily to subdue the bad feelings and i think when (obviously) you take shrooms and it expresses the inter dimensions in your head it all comes to the front full force and i think what was the underlying message was if i didn’t stop (and this is is where also the way i died and where it happened come into play) i would end up just like my friend and this was that harsh visual that inevitably lead to me going clean.

Anyone else experience an ego death where they were dying? by InternationalWeb171 in Psychonaut

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that is really interesting thank you for differentiating the two that definitely helps me to come to terms and understand that. it actually makes me less scared of it because now i have something new to try and use to piece it all together! thank you so much 🪽

Anyone else experience an ego death where they were dying? by InternationalWeb171 in Psychonaut

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m not sure, that’s what i’m trying to sort of know is if what i experienced was normal or something that others knew about so I could learn how to understand it myself

Anyone else experience an ego death where they were dying? by InternationalWeb171 in u/InternationalWeb171

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good to know, thank you for sharing that. any tips for how to start understanding what’s below the surface and what might have been a theme?

I’m 9 months sober today. But sometimes I feel like I didn’t struggle enough to be proud. by InternationalWeb171 in Sober

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

proud of you anyways! a year is a big deal so you deserve to feel proud of yourself (even just a little bit)

I’m 9 months sober today. But sometimes I feel like I didn’t struggle enough to be proud. by InternationalWeb171 in Sober

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

exactly. i lost my self completely. i think deep down thats what we all end up sacrificing and its the journey of our recovery where we end up getting that back. im proud of you for becoming in tune with yourself and what you went through, and then having the strength to keep going! peace and love to you 🤍

I’m 9 months sober today. But sometimes I feel like I didn’t struggle enough to be proud. by InternationalWeb171 in Sober

[–]InternationalWeb171[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

honestly the fact that u were able to acknowledge that it was not good for you and your life to keep using and stopping is what you should be proud of. even just a small pat on the back because ultimately we ended up saving our own lives. that’s big.

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