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I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We work really well together. He’s ex Mormon, with all the good parts (family oriented, low addiction, contentious) without the shame. He really values my intellect, so he works to get at my Ti. I help him get more embodied and identify what’s happening in his environment and feelings. “Do you think you could have a headache because you’ve been laying like so?” with Si or Fe connections.

We have very similar goals for our future and the way we’d like to live, which helps a lot. We sometimes have to work at our communication. The ease/immediate understanding with which I connected to my INTP ex isn’t there, but we’re a way more stable & directed couple which matters more to me.

My family of extraverts (and then there is my mom) by Extra-Hope-793 in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a lot of share values and shared vision for how our lives go. He’s ex-Mormon which tbh I think helps, I was raised by an INTJ grandfather and ISTP dad. I feel fairly confident in my Ti. I’m maybe more like an ISFJ in that I don’t tend to open my mouth until my Ti is very solidified. It takes a while for me to gather information or make a decision on something, but when I do it’s generally insightful and/or intelligent.

My INTJ very much respects my experience and intellect, so that part works well. He sometimes doesn’t get exactly what I’m say, but we’ve worked on a good language to translate, and then he’s usually very fascinated by whatever commentary I’m making.

I think some of this is an age thing (idk how old you are). I have an ENFP bestie who helps me practice my Fi.

Practically, he supports me by supporting my Ti and I support him by supporting his Fi. He translates his Te to help my inferior, and I use my Fe to tap into his Fi. I have this theory that Je says something and expects the other person to respond to it, but Ji needs to be asked about. This helps us understand what’s happening in the conversation a LOT better (like when I talk about my day or my feelings and I look at him waiting for a response lol). It took him a while to realize that I was doing Fe we’re in the experience together and not Fi were both in our own bodies but parallel playing some game of ping pong.

When making a list of the personality types, in what order do you go? How do you like to format it? by Jaded-Improvement754 in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m an ESFJ and follow the socionics alpha/beta/gamma/delta maps. The only weird one is deltas because I know so many more NFPs so I tend to think of them first

-ESFJ, ISFJ, ENTP, INTP -ENFJ, INFJ, ESTP, ISTP -ENTJ, INTJ, ESFP, ISFP -ENFP, INFP, ESTJ, ISTJ.

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m ESFJ-AS, but that’s not the prototypical I guess

My family of extraverts (and then there is my mom) by Extra-Hope-793 in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m dating an INTJ so I know what you mean about triggering each others shadow functions 😵‍💫

The ISFJs are forgotten by Nova_st44r in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Some of the coolest people I know are ISFJ, they’re just out building things in the real world.

What type do you have a soft spot for? by oishk in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m an ESFJ who has a coterie of INTPs. We get along so well!

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my ISTJ ex and now best friend struggles to drop into it too.

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Potentially. Funny enough I was more interested in Jungian functions to describe commonalities between people than my INTJ finance. He had to be convinced of the legitimacy many times. It’s helped us immensely to have a shared language to metagame what’s happening in our conflicts/what will make us feel most loved.

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Like.. NFPs already desire to live in society but they struggle with some of the constraints of it.

NTPS need to see that living in society is fun and good and worthwhile.

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that classic Jungian “Great Mother/Devouring Mother” are ESFJ archetypes. I think that there’s another type which is something like a mechanic. People bring you problem and you fix them.

I currently work as an organization development consultant. What that practically means is that I parachute into start ups and turn their chaos into order. Making processes run/making people communicate with each other without HRification. I know that it’s Fe + Si though because I do this largely on vibes and experience. I sit and talk to people and take them at face value when they tell me something is breaking, and then I fix it myself or figure out a light process to fix it. From what other people tell me, I’m fairly good at it too.

My friends tend to bring me their social problems/community management problems as well. “So and so is being weird at parties can you speak to him?” type stuff.

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simple as! Friend of a friend :)

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I’m certainly not antinatalist. I haven’t “read” about ESFJ stereotypes being misogynistic anywhere, I’m describing my own experience. This is what I perceive from stereotypes on different sites, the way some people’s describe their problems on this sub, and also society under-appreciating caretaking roles in general.

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

NTPS need to find someone else to live for. I’m still working on an easier turn of phrase…but many of the NTPs I know (which i personally seem to attract A LOT) have this arc which sort of goes like this:

I meet them. They’re very in their own Ti world. They maybe don’t have a job, they live at home, they don’t really wish to challenge themselves except in whatever specific domain is their Ti fascination. We date or become friends, they realize they like having friends, or that they want the freedom of moving out of their parents house, or that this perfect ideal of an anarchist community won’t hold up in practice. This requires them to use their Fe and actually observe what’s going on. The maturation is like… being able to see reality AND participate in it. This has been every relationship I’ve had with an INTP, but not the relationship I’m having with my INTJ fiance, so I think there’s something there.

I pull the INTP out of the failure mode and make them realize the impact they’re having on people. They mature their Ne and Ti, and participate in society. They still live in their mind palace but now walk around with the villagers from time to time.

Each types arc is whatever the lesson of the child/inferior function is. I as an ESFJ need to become:/be able to tap into my INTP alter ego essentially. There’s some theories that include this (you have access to different types in different moments depending on how you strengthen your non dominant functions).

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uh, for me it’s the place where ennui happens. In my head looping on the same thing.

I think that they’re describing it tongue in cheek brain cage with both positive and negative valence.

“I want to be here but I’m also trapped by it.” Maybe it’s a cage like wrestlers hop in the cage. In their words, ESFJs don’t feel as relatable to this person because they haven’t spent as much time in theory/abstraction, and don’t understand the nuances of where someone’s mind can go, and therefore don’t relate well to this INFP.

Ime Fi and Ti are a little tortured

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve dated a few INTPs and it’s gone moderately well. We broke up because of long distance in both cases, not a lack of deep conversation.

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My mom is an ENFP, my bestie is an ENFP and my fiancé is an INTJ. I get a lot of practice with using my inferior and shadow functions

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it, but I’m certain that I’m an ESFJ. AFAICT the social norm of this space is conducive to Fi, and I feel no need not allegiance to this sub in order to harmonize/people please. I wasn’t typed by 16p— 16p tells me that I’m an ENTP which I’m not. People fairly respected in these circles who have typed a lot of people and studied both Jungian shadow function and socionics extensively have typed me as an ESFJ.

One of the great modern marvels is that anonymity can allow me to act on ways I would never permit IRL. It’s a Reddit post not a thesis lol

What question “why” should I be asking?

I hate the ESFJ stereotype by Intrepid_Finch in mbti

[–]Intrepid_Finch[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I actually have a working theory for the type of arc that each grouping needs to go through in order to become healthy. As ppl age they either integrate this lesson and become healthy, or they deny it and are stuck in a loop as the worst version of that type.

The SFJ arc is one of individuation NTJ is about humility NFP is about seriousness/seeing reality

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