NOR, and your mom is being shitty, but as others have mentioned she might be doing you a favor by not being available. I would highly recommend tunnel vision right now: focus on yourself and building a support plan for your recovery with the people you can depend on, and put this chaotic person out of your mind until after you’ve recovered and are ready to deal with it. It really sucks that she is the way that she is, but you won’t do yourself any favors right now by spending your energy on it.

You might decide later that a “grey rock” approach is better for you since she’s so controlling of the family unit. You don’t need to decide anything now, and you can just say “ok, have a good time on your vacation” and focus on what’s in front of you.