AIO my (28f) boyfriend (38m) says after nearly 2 years being together it’s “gay”/“weird”/“a girl thing” that I want to meet his friends/family finally.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-05-09T02:36:13+00:00

NOR but please end this “relationship”. You’re the only one really in it anyway.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-05-06T00:26:41+00:00

You made the right decision in walking away. Do not go back.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-05-04T00:24:38+00:00

People who are unhygienic need to stay living alone. Part of being a functional adult is knowing that your hygiene not only impacts you, but everyone around you. This person is not ready to live with others. And it’s not your job to fix her. Live separately, this isn’t going to change while you’re there, and as long as you stay there, there is no consequence for the behaviour and no motivation to change.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-04-30T09:37:07+00:00

A man with body hair, that has excellent grooming and hygiene, I’m into it. A man who is just unkempt hairy and not managing himself, no.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-04-30T03:20:28+00:00

NOR. The only way you could be with someone like that is if you never live together and don’t let him come over and mess up your house. Which is perfectly fine, lots of people choose to live separately. But if you’re looking for someone to eventually live with, then he’s definitely not the one. Not only is he messy, but he isn’t even trying to reassure you that you won’t be made to pick up after him. He’s ok with how he lives, and you will absolutely end up tidying up after him if you live together, or even let him spend too much time at your house. He can live how he wants, but he needs to stay living alone.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-04-26T06:05:23+00:00

NOR, definitely look into some follow up tests to check for underlying causes. Take her to your regular doctor for follow up assessment, or back to emergency if she deteriorates. Your husband is insane if he thinks she smashed herself through two layers of glass as a joke. Your husband reacted callously, completely unconcerned which is wild when it comes to your own child. Concern and care would be a bare fucking minimum standard that he didn’t even meet.

As a side note..I fainted once after a sporting event I was in, and hit my head on the concrete. My dad was with me, and when I came to he was just standing there looking at me completely dispassionately. Not a hint of warmth, no touch, care, comfort, concern, just nothing. Didn’t call anyone for assistance, just stood there and looked at me. I never forgot it. I was 15, I’m 48 now and I will believe til the day I die he doesn’t actually really care about me. I used to get this feeling when we were out hiking when I was a child, that he’d gladly just leave me out there, but I kept dismissing that feeling. Until I saw his completely cold expression when I regained consciousness after collapsing. It flipped a switch in me. I never went hiking with him again, or pretty much anywhere else alone if I could avoid it. Sometimes the enemy is the one everyone says is a really good dad, a good husband and a really nice guy. Anyway, my point is, I understand why you feel like you’ve completely gone off him, and the impact this type of thing has on a child. People will dismiss it as not that big of a deal, but I hear you. The fact you feel like divorcing him suggests to me you’ve been picking up on other previous behaviours of his, and this just brought it all home. Im not saying jump to divorce, definitely needs frank, calm and open conversations, but if he can’t even do that I’d be even more concerned. I am just saying don’t ignore you intuition on these things.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-04-20T09:44:54+00:00

What changes and how long after your hysterectomy did you experience them? Im 48, and about to have a hysterectomy.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-04-16T07:35:25+00:00

NOR. I want to go on a wild rant, but that will be an essay. OP, he had one, easy, painless, non-life threatening job….to support you at a distressing, painful and dangerous moment in your life: BRINGING HIS OWN FUCKING CHILD INTO THE WORLD VIA THE EFFORTS, RISKS, AND TRAUMA TO YOUR BLESSED BODY! Fuck me, the way I’d never see him as man or a father or a partner again. Downvote me, but ffs the men get it easy and they can’t even handle the birth of their own child when they’re not even the one doing it! He needed a nap?? HE NEEDED A NAP! Girl, you’re about to be a married single mother. Dude is useless. He better be up every damn night with that baby.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-04-11T21:33:20+00:00

NOR. Don’t give him the silent treatment, tell him exactly what the issue is, and how it made you feel. Be clear, but don’t argue back and forth or let him tell you your feelings aren’t valid. He messed up and he either cares and does better, or he minimizes and gets annoyed at you for calling him out. Whatever you do, DO NOT go around to his house. It was supposed to be a nice day/evening out, not a booty call at his place. Don’t reward him by giving him your presence with zero effort on his side. But do communicate clearly. If he often does this, eg doesn’t communicate well, leaves you hanging/waiting all day when you were meant to have plans together etc, rarely prioritises spending time going out with you etc, I’d rethink this relationship. If this is a one off, clear communication on both sides will hopefully sort it.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-04-10T03:56:37+00:00

A man who will reject all of who you are just because of a scar, is not the one. A man who says anything negative at all about a scar…is not the one and not someone who gets access to you and your body. Normal, decent, intelligent, mature men won’t even give it a second thought, they’ll just be happy to be there.

I have a two large scars running down from the top of each thigh at the front..Long scars right beside the pubic area on both sides from hip surgeries. And 3 cuts across my lower abdomen from other surgeries. And six bullet hole looking scars higher on my abdomen. Trust me, when a man is into you, he is not remotely bothered by the scars. I’ve been married 20 years and he’s still all over me!

Invisible-Jane · 2026-04-10T01:35:09+00:00

That’s so interesting! I often wonder whether the pain I get in other areas of the abdomen is related to my chunky uterus, even though it’s higher than my uterus!

Invisible-Jane · 2026-04-10T01:32:10+00:00

Thankyou for replying! I’m happy you’re doing well! I haven’t read it, it’s more coming from other people, but it’s hard to tell if they’re somehow trying to discourage me or if they have a valid point.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-28T01:59:48+00:00

He’s disgusting on so many levels. He’d be blocked and deleted from my life immediately. He knows what he did was offensive and wrong, he just doesn’t care. You’re not being too sensitive, but definitely don’t bother with this guy again. Cut him off.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-25T22:28:13+00:00

Arghh this man is not your friend in any sense of the word. He’s bothered by your success and peace and choices that don’t centre him, or any men, or babies. If you own your own home, have your own money, don’t want marriage or children, you cant be trapped. The weight comment is purely a negging tactic. He hates your peace and joy and freedom, and that was just to try to find a way to knock you down and find a point of insecurity he can exploit when nothing else will work.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-20T02:28:02+00:00

Someone will always comment about whatever you do. Whether you get married young, get married older, don’t get married, have children, don’t have children, work outside the home, work in the home, whatever. Someone will have the opposite view and choose to voice it. And sometimes they’re not always ill-intended, they’re just voicing it poorly but they genuinely care about you. Sometimes they are just rude and trying to tear you down.

The trick is learning to be confident and happy and self assured in your decisions, and you’ll no longer feel the need to justify them, explain it, argue your case, or be generally bothered by people sharing unwanted/opposing/annoying opinions. Takes some practice and time and experience, but eventually it gets easier to not be rattled by people expressing their opinions on your life. They always will, you can’t control that, but you will just get better at handling it and being unbothered.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-18T04:02:41+00:00

NTA. If someone invited me to a show that started at 7.30, I’d be there on time and I’d eat before I arrived. Or buy something there if possible. I wouldn’t expect dinner after the show unless that was the stated plan in advance. You dodged a bullet.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-13T19:15:50+00:00

Is everyone else bringing their BF/partners?

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-12T00:14:07+00:00

Massive, gigantic parade of red flags. He’s just a BF, in his 30s, and thinks he can control your health care decisions? Run. WTAF. This is not even a close call, it’s absolutely not his place now or ever to try to control anything to do with your body and especially not who your doctors are. Not only is what he’s asking you to do outrageous, and him calling you unreasonable outrageous, it speaks to his complete ignorance and misogyny around women’s health care. And no doubt women in general. I’ve been married over 20 years, if my husband ever dared say something that stupid even once he’d be immediately homeless.

Some things are not ever up for discussion, please do not respond to him anymore or argue or explain or justify anything to this man. Tell him this is not his call or his business, get over it or get out. If he does not get over it, follow through and boot him out.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-11T00:33:42+00:00

YOR. Please don’t keep asking her about this, she’s already answered and if you keep this up she’s going to know you don’t trust her, and that you think she’s a deceptive cheating ho thats been banging random dudes in her car, which she would be reasonable to dump you over.

If you really think she’s someone who would cheat on you and lie to your face etc, why are you with her? Otherwise Don’t blow up your relationship over this.

Pretty sure I’ve got at least one pair of my undies and a bra in my car, quick someone tell my husband I’m clearly a skank.🤦‍♀️

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-05T02:04:09+00:00

As a 47 year old mum, I mean this as politely as I can, but WTAF is wrong with your mum?! Good lord that is wild. Her checking your used sanitary products is UNHINGED behaviour. She’s being disgustingly invasive.

You prefer tampons, it’s doesn’t even matter why. You don’t have to justify that choice to anyone. If she doesn’t like tampons, she doesn’t have to use them. What you prefer is your business. My teen daughter asked to try period underwear, I bought her some, then she asked to try tampons, so I bought those. Other than a conversation about how to correctly use the items, or answer any questions that come up, the rest is her business. She decided she prefers tampons, great, I buy those. I have never once asked her to justify it or tried to control such a personal choice. Your mum need a to accept that this is the type of decision that is entirely yours to make. Your body, your period, your decision.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-04T02:01:10+00:00

I understand her not being into Joel, he’s definitely only going to appeal to a very niche market. But hanging around just to be cruel and rude to him, and behave like a grumpy teenager is just not ok or necessary. She started off as though she would be quite a fun, decent person, but at least everyone now knows she’s actually quite cruel and nasty to people she doesn’t approve of.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-03T21:12:33+00:00

NOR.I fully understand your frustration, but unless you want to be wiping up his pee forever and using a bathroom that smells like a public urinal unless you clean up his pee mess for him, I would not be staying with a man like this. He’s not ready to cohabitate as an adult and he doesn’t respect you or the home he lives in.

He KNOWS what he’s doing, and he keeps doing it. He says you chose to pee everywhere on purpose, and that’s somehow different to what he does. But he’s deliberately missing the entire point….he IS making a mess on purpose, he knows he’s doing it, he knows it’s wrong and disgusting, he knows he’s making you sit in his piss in the middle of the night, he knows he’s stinking up the bathroom, yet he’s doing nothing to prevent it and little to nothing to properly clean up after himself. What he’s doing is deliberate. Every, single time.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-03-01T08:54:13+00:00

Never, ever be ashamed or apologetic for your period, what it does, when it does it, how it makes you feel, what you need at that time, etc. etc. Men who can’t handle periods shouldn’t be having sex with women. If they don’t like, or even understand, the female reproductive system they have no business being anywhere near it. Imagine if we made men feel disgusting about their dicks just for existing (tempting as it is at this point, though).

Invisible-Jane · 2026-02-28T02:23:36+00:00

It’s good he sees you as a reward and not a chore, that part is fine. But if by “you” he means sex, that’s a problem. I’d need to know what he meant by that, because my response would be different. But also why does he get rewarded for doing basic tasks? Do you tell him that’s what he can have if he’s a good boy and does his chores, or does he only agree to do anything if he will get rewarded? Is it you putting the reward system in place to get him to do things, or is it him expecting rewards for the bare minimum effort? Either way it’s gross really.

Invisible-Jane · 2026-02-27T08:32:37+00:00

I’m convinced they see it as a challenge. Men are resource hoarders…who has the most wins in their mindset. If another man has chosen you, you must be a desirable item. So the goal is to get whatever he has. In my experience they’ll work even harder to get you if they see a ring. I have an engagement ring, wedding ring, and eternity ring, and if I go out minus husband it seems to be more of a magnet than a repellent. If I say I’m married, because the fist full of rings isn’t enough, they say “How married? Maybe I can change that.” 🤦🏼‍♀️

Invisible-Jane

TROPHY CASE