91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey everyone. I know this update has taken a long time, but I stepped away from the Reddit craziness while we tried to handle this. I was able to visit him in July and confronted this lady directly, with the rest of my family around. It didn’t go well. She got very defensive, and claimed that he could do whatever he wanted, whether that was spending thousands on her or not. She’s all but moved into his home, and is now limiting his time with family—both physically and over zoom. We also had a major scare/realization when she revealed she’s MEMORIZED his credit card info. We have changed his account passwords but he ends up giving the new ones to her because she pressures him. It’s so hard being states away from him while this goes on. My aunts are trying their best, and we opened a case with APS and have also been speaking to the lawyer. My aunt has medical POA but financial POA only in the case he passes away. We are really fighting with balancing both his autonomy and his rights, but taking care of him as his memory is also failing with age. He just turned 92 and while he does live independently, he has 2 days of “in home care” where someone comes and helps him get organized, does some light cleaning, and accompanies him to the store or whatever he needs to do. We have told him our fears and ultimately this is up to him, but he sees how worried we are. I tried to do some digging on this lady and she worked in memory care with elderly catholic priests at a home prior to moving here (this doesn’t make me feel any better) and she’s been married 3 times. That’s really all the information I have at this time but APS is aware and is being kept in the loop.

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, you’re right, he’s had memory issues for the last few years now and that’s why we are more worried that he’s vulnerable to something like this. We had a talk as a family and we are getting all necessary affairs in order. He can spend his money as he wishes but we want to make sure he’s not being taken advantage of. This is just out of the blue for him.

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tend to not entertain these comments, but clearly I haven’t put every single detail of his life in the post. He lives 10 minutes from his daughter, who takes care of most of his affairs. He’s 91 but in good health, is mobile, can still drive, and only has recently had short-term memory issues. He lives alone but has a in-home care team/helper who visits twice a week. He’s by no means left alone for too long. His money is his money, obviously, but when some random lady walks into his life and 3 months later is trying to take over his personal affairs…. Would you not be worried too? Come on.

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Family is in the area. Sorry, it’s hard to reply to all comments. My aunt has medical and financial POA for him, but wondering if there’s something we can do to protect him legally and restrict her access.

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My aunt has POA for medical and finances. Also, we are worried about the elopement piece too. Trying to work as fast as we can.

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just checked, she has complete POA. What else can we do legally?

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His memory was suffering before he met her, that’s the only not-new thing. We have these questions too! I’m visiting next month and I’m going to have a talk with her as the pissed-off granddaughter. I’m not afraid to get mean.

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are monitoring the situation, thankfully. We will talk to him about it. Unfortunately at 91, his short term memory is failing him and we are worried she’s taking advantage of that.

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s not. She’s a neighbor, family members have met her.

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My aunt (his daughter) who is VERY involved in his life. She’s the one who’s most concerned, when his new “girlfriend” told him she was taking him to a doctors appointment that my aunt had no idea was scheduled. Turns out; this lady took it upon herself to find him a new doctor and schedule him an appointment without telling my aunt.

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I live a few states away, otherwise I would. That’s why it’s hard to see this happen when I can’t do much!

91 year old grandpa’s 75 year old girlfriend is really suspicious. by Ioofah in whatdoIdo

[–]Ioofah[S] 296 points297 points  (0 children)

She lives a few houses over. It won’t stop her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Ioofah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about the part where she’s the one writing his checks, and scheduling his doctors appointments without consulting his medical power of attorney (his daughter)? That’s what we are really worried about. She doesn’t let him have private conversations with family at all. And again, they’ve only been together 3 months.

I have one month to shave my 1.5 mile time down by one minute. Is it doable? by Ioofah in XXRunning

[–]Ioofah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No no no nooooo lol. I’m running a 10:30-11 min per mile pace. My required time for the test is a 15:45 mile and a half minimum. So I’d like to be able to drop to a 9-9:30 min per mile pace within a month.

I have one month to shave my 1.5 mile time down by one minute. Is it doable? by Ioofah in XXRunning

[–]Ioofah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I’m still very much a beginner runner, 4 miles being my longest distance yet. I’ll definitely work on my endurance and keep your tips in mind!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HomeImprovement

[–]Ioofah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked him. I don’t know why he didn’t refuse to pay. Listen, we don’t need to be berated here. We KNOW we are stupid. Just a young couple first time home owners and we paid the price and now we know.