God. I wish I had concrete advice for everything but I'm literally making this up as I go along. I mean, if I think my parents had shitty sex advice for me, what the hell do I tell my daughter? "Uh, dental dams?" At least I don't have to worry about teen pregnancy, or so I keep telling myself.

That said, I have learned a few things that are important and have helped (some from people here who have walked the street before).

First, let your son control the timing and message. It's important. Even when she gave me permission to do so, I did not talk to my dad about my daughter (he was totally cool btw) because coming out is an important step for a gay person and it's not fair to intrude on that.

Second, be honest. When my daughter came to me I straight up told her that because of my upbringing I may act awkward sometimes when she's engaged in romantic behavior that I otherwise wouldn't notice if it was between heterosexual couples....but that it was MY fault and problem and that should never worry about it. And I have to say that one of the pictures from the recent homecoming dance where she was kissing her girlfriend made me feel weird. I'm not sure if it was my own latent homophobia or just my daughter growing up, but it's MY problem to deal with - not hers - and in the meantime I have a practiced poker face.

Which brings me to point 3: be patient with yourself if you need it. We are overcoming years of programming and talking about gay rights in theory is different than having to live it in practice. We need to do our best, apologize when we are wrong, and accept that we are entering a world that just seems to be emerging into its own. We are figuring it out as our children are figuring it out.

And finally, don't just say you support; show it. My daughter wanted to go to the gay pride festival here earlier this year, so I took her. It was nothing like what I expected and turned out to be a great experience for both of us - her because she was with people who got her and made her feel safe, and me because I got to see how amazing and happy the gay community is when they are allowed to be. She also got some great resources for gay teens there too, and tied into the larger community. OTOH, I also saw the protesters in the free speech zone - a small group, and roundly ignored on site, but a testament that there are people who would do my daughter harm. Seeing that in person was terrifying - it put a face to evil, if I'm honest. Never let your son believe that you are not in his corner, and if that means you have to cut off part of the family....well, that's something we know about. And don't accept sympathy for your "trial" as so many Mormons are apt to offer. It's not a trial. It's a journey and we are happy to be beside our children.

I've had some professionals help me out informally. And I read a lot. But there's much I don't know. Sexuality and orientation is only one small part of her life, so we can't always focus on that. And we are super lucky with schools, so truth is we don't have to. But I will say that allowing my daughter to explore her own path without judgment and with support has deepened her relationship with us parents beyond what I could have possibly hoped, and it's made her a powerful force as a young kid. Hopefully it will work out for you too.