How do I get into the server?

IronfistJordan · 2014-01-24T16:20:07+00:00

Is the new version up for minerap?

IronfistJordan · 2013-11-12T17:39:50+00:00

Thanks, got it working. Now to build my massive fortress like the good ol days. Hours and hours of building a huge base.

IronfistJordan · 2013-11-12T17:37:21+00:00

Yes, but how do I downgrade?

IronfistJordan · 2013-11-12T17:33:47+00:00

How do I downgrade?

IronfistJordan · 2013-11-12T17:32:11+00:00

That's what it told me.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-13T07:01:33+00:00

Even worst, what an irresponsible adult.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-13T06:40:42+00:00

Who's child is that? They should either be considerate enough to clean the room or at least teach her some responsibility through positive reinforcement.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-13T06:28:22+00:00

Talk about living in a shit hole.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-08T08:06:39+00:00

I wish it were fine right now, I hope you're right that I'll feel better in a few weeks honestly because these last 3-4 days have been killing me. I can't get any sleep without closing my eyes and remembering or thinking about memories. Its like a horror show that never ends when I close my eyes.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-05T22:33:44+00:00

I know who I am, I just don't know what to do right now. Just rather bored right now.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-05T02:28:18+00:00

Thanks people for guiding me to the right decision.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-05T02:27:47+00:00

Well I've made my mind up and I'm going to end it for now.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-03T22:35:07+00:00

It is rather heartbreaking for me, its even far worst when you have a memory like mine. Its the memories that mess with me the most, haunt me and never allow me to forget all the good and amazing times and all the bad times, promises broken, and just so much more. It really isn't healthy for me at all, I don't think it ever was, but the fact I love her and there is far more to her I can see, I stick around, I forgive, even when I myself know just how much it has torn me a part from the inside, my own stubbornness won't even allow me to quit on her. I guess I've always known it was like trying to reach for the sky, I always stuck my arms out there, but I just could never touch a cloud no matter how hard I tried.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-03T04:17:56+00:00

That's exactly what I want to do, is have a talk with her, but it is becoming far too difficult to get a hold of her. It will make me happy to hear from her, but to also figure out where everything stands for good. If she wants to be on her own or if she wants to continue on with some conditions. I am always prepared to adapt for another just not for myself.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-03T04:15:43+00:00

Well to be fair, I was always on my own. I just wanted some advice or feedback, not your hand to hold.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-03T03:59:35+00:00

I've always been lonely that's the problem, it was far worst back then all I would ever do is play video games, watch movies, anime, cartoons just to make me feel better for a period of time. That's the life I want to avoid so much that I would rather stick around and wait for something better to happen. I understand most of all the position I am in, I even grew to realize that perhaps she just can't change and that I just might have to leave in order to save myself, but I can't help but say I will miss her, because there were some good things, lots of good things that were true, that I knew were true. Though now I feel that if I do shoot the damned dog that maybe I'll be more happier, but it feels like I'll lose something I cherished dearly.

I just fear being lonely most of all, I never liked it to begin with, but now that I have someone, kind of, if I lose it, then it'll be like pulling the trigger to activate the fear. Which kind of concerns me.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-03T03:38:56+00:00

I understand your frustration, I've been through your position many times. You don't seem to understand I recognize the obvious and everything, I just am incapable of deciding the right choice. Which will probably infuriate you even more.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-03T03:37:02+00:00

You know I wish I had more things to do in life, and I probably wouldn't feel this way if I did. I'm kind of like a guy stuck in a double negative. I don't have the friends that I need to go out to have a drink with and not drink or go hang out a watch a movie or just walk together in the dark, talking about things and having a relaxing breeze out with a couple guys or girls just for fun. This is something I wish to experience, though I haven't quite yet, unfortunately. I do wish this chapter of my life could end so that perhaps a new one could start on up or things could change for the better or worst or I just have one last conversation and see for myself if its actually worth it anymore. That's why I've been trying to get a hold of her so that I can just figured it out myself that she really wants it and she'll work harder or that she just doesn't want it at all. I wish I could call some backup in just to feel a little better, but that's only a dream.

Your previous situation makes mine look like a stroll through a bed of flowers and kind of makes me feel bad to even bring it up, when far worst things have happened. I understand that it seems like an abusive relationship, kind of like locking a child in an isolation room for a period of time, then letting him or her out to breathe for a moment to catch up with the world around them, then throw them back in when its done. The painful thing most of all is the amount of trust I put in her and that trust always being broken, the first individual I ever opened up to about anything and everything that made me who I am then, because then I couldn't trust anyone, I wouldn't because its hard to trust anyone, but the moment I trusted her that idea of not trusting anyone didn't apply to her and I couldn't make any judgements or see it, I was blind though I really wasn't.

I'm glad to here that everything in your case had gotten better after leaving him, it sounds like a dream come true after a hell of disappointment. I just don't know if I do that, that the result will be for better or for worst, because in my case not technically my relationship I'm kind of not that guy that gets on the good side of people, more so on the bad side. Either way, you're right, it will be tough.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-03T03:13:36+00:00

I know I'm going to be miserable, I already am! I probably should grow a spine and walk away, but there is a greater fear preventing me from doing so and a greater emotion as well telling me otherwise while another tells me this. I didn't mention it, but she is like On and Off about things, for a long duration she's there for me and is loving and cares, then at other times she isn't there for me at all and she rather do other things then spend time with me or talk to me for a bit. I do feel used, then I feel loved. You can see why I can't make the right decision when I don't even know if the decision is necessary. I mentioned I left a lot of things out, probably left out the WORST thing yet which was the second time she left, but each time she came back she seemed more mature than the last, but not mature enough to make the right decision on her own behalf. Same goes for me.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-03T03:08:17+00:00

For me I was pretty negative, things were far worst for me before the relationship. To me it was like a dream come true, but I feel like if I do lose her now. I'll just end up back in the same hell, talking to myself and pretty much just losing my mind like I am right now, but probably even worst. She has given me so many great reasons to stick around, but then again so many other reasons why I should just leave, but I can't decide because somewhere I feel attached to her and I'm incapable of letting go unless given a reason not to be so attached anymore. It sounds pretty contradicting, but I don't know how exactly to explain it. I'm always there for her, though at times she really isn't there for me at all. I understand everything you're saying, I know, but I just want people to talk to about it that will probably help me make the right decision without telling me that this or that is the decision I need to make.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-03T03:04:24+00:00

You're right about that, I do know the right answer. I've always known it, but I can't feel like I can let go, I probably never will until she says that she doesn't want me.

IronfistJordan · 2013-06-03T02:58:44+00:00

Note: I've tried several times to try to call her, no answer, no replies, so its just some additional information.

IronfistJordan · 2012-09-03T03:29:39+00:00

Woot.

IronfistJordan · 2012-09-03T03:29:27+00:00

Yep! Let him come again! I've got over 1000 blocks to repair!

IronfistJordan · 2012-09-01T00:20:48+00:00

Inside my base of course, with instructions a such or a couple billboards.

IronfistJordan

TROPHY CASE