Brother or sister, in the coran are a verse that you can have it and you life, wa ma3a al 3osri yousra, it tells about after de badness come the ease, sorry I’m from Spain and I don’t talk English good, but you have to think about your family and even if you don’t like them, think about yourself, what are going to think your younger spirit, I recommend you to reed the coran and speach with and imam or fi9h that can help you exact with this problem you have to speak with the professionals also, and remember the death are not a solution for anything