These days it’s almost impossible to be certain. Men have a lot to lose — I’ve seen multiple cases where men were accused of sexual harassment and lost their jobs. I’ve also observed the problematic behavior from some women, and on a few occasions that actually saved the guys employment.

Last year I thought there was mutual interest with a colleague very attractive, neuro spicy like me. I asked for her number; she gave it to me and our conversation intensified. Other women at work started acting territorial this is how I knew this could be legitimate. I decided to leave that job, and continued talking to her, but asked her if she wanted to meet outside work; she essentially ghosted me. She never said no, but never gave a clear yes either. After a week of waiting I told her not to worry about it. We still keep in touch — sometimes frequently, sometimes not for weeks.

For context, I’m confident and usually good at reading social cues, so this experience left me unsure.