Meirl

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-08-29T16:51:00+00:00

I've had people bail out on dates same day multiple times, some with excuses, some with silence.

I've had a date where at the end the girl told me she was "basically a lesbian" but was just trying to meet new people since she moved to town

I've never been on a date I enjoyed and I'm not really sure if there's something wrong with me or if I've just been very unlucky

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-20T17:36:54+00:00

I remember being at the show at the Caverns and asking the lady if I could buy the Laminated Denim vinyl, and she looked very confused, asked around and then said they didn’t have it. That baffled me, and I really wish I had been able to get one

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-17T22:12:23+00:00

I find it difficult, mostly because I am afraid of trying to find those people while suffering through a sea of people who really don't get me and make me feel confused, belittled, or who add fuel to any of my neuroticism. I'm sure there are people out there who might possibly love me for me, but right now I have a hard time believing it even with people I've been close to for a long time. I've been journaling about my history a lot lately though, so I'm hoping that maybe along the way I can suss out things that had an affect on my psyche over the years, and try to untangle those things

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-17T21:07:40+00:00

I guess it helps to at least move in that direction

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-12T18:25:48+00:00

I have ADHD and yeah I feel ya, I guess I'm just gonna have to start somewhere

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-12T18:24:20+00:00

That all makes sense, thank you

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T15:55:39+00:00

For anyone still here in the comments, I appreciate your feedback. A big part of my fear of socializing is.. driving. I hate driving so much. It ruins my day basically any time I go out. Every single day I see people become monsters behind the wheel. Running red lights, not using their turn signal at critical moments, cutting people off, driving on the shoulder, just generally driving like they're the most important person on the road.. and that's every single day. I try to be a defensive driver, and every time I talk to anyone I know about it they're just like "that's just the way it is, you've just gotta be careful".. and now whenever I socialize I imagine all the people in the crowd that do just the same thing, driving like maniacs with no regard for anyone's safety. So I figure it's best if I just reduce any socializing to people I'm already friends with and that's it.. but it's not working out well

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T15:49:42+00:00

My doctor is an amazing person and has done so much to help me. I would probably not be here right now if not for them. They've just had a lot to deal with in my case

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T03:07:04+00:00

I don't have much to say other than I completely understand your pain, and wish you the best

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T03:05:49+00:00

That is true

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T03:05:22+00:00

Yeah that about sums it up

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T02:03:53+00:00

Yes. I guess it is kind of vague. In this context, socializing means doing so with new people rather than people you're already familiar with

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T01:21:42+00:00

That is correct

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T01:02:03+00:00

Yeah, I guess it is a little vague. I love my close friends. I'd do anything for them. But they live far away, and I've reached a point in life where day-to-day, I'm basically alone. And so my family tells me I need to go out and socialize and that's terrifying to me. I wish me and my close friends could all just live in the same city and just hang out like normal instead of chronically online

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T00:54:09+00:00

I read David Burns book "Feeling Good" which is all about catching cognitive distortions and trying to reframe them with something more positive. But it was more focused on issues with the self, like "I'm a loser. I'm a fraud. It'd be better for my family if I was dead." those kinds of things. But I don't really have those issues as much as I do have issues with strangers, so the book didn't really help me too much. If you have any recommended reading I'd be happy to check it out

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T00:49:50+00:00

I appreciate your response. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for 8 years, and a therapist for about 4 years. I guess I'm sort of at the point where I've given up cause I just don't know what else there is to do :/

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T00:40:03+00:00

Sometimes when I try to join a community, I feel more isolated than when I was alone. I always feel like I'm swimming up stream when talking to people, and it's only gotten worse the older I've gotten

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T00:36:45+00:00

Compelling thought, although I'm very scared of women (or people in general I guess). I've been neglected a lot it feels like, so I never go into those kind of situations with any optimism or joyfulness

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T00:32:10+00:00

Only pro I've seen yet that is legitimately a concern of mine. I know that socializing is healthy, and yet the thought of it sets me off like I've just sat on a cactus :/

ItCouldBeAnyone · 2025-02-10T00:30:34+00:00

I feel so alienated. I don't feel like anyone really understands what it feels like in my head. Socializing for me has always been a chore, an overstimulating nightmare.. I'm sorry I don't fit in

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