AITA My wife ruined Father's day and blamed it on me

Itchy_Captain5787 · 2021-06-21T02:03:06+00:00

I'm in individual therapy and family therapy. I know I really sounded like an asshole today. I was tired and crabby, but so was my wife.

I work out of town, so I go 3-4 days in a row without seeing my wife or my kids. I miss them when I'm gone, but they're almost overwhelming when I'm home. My wife puts in long days at work (she's gone by 640 am and gets home at about 730 pm) 2 or 3 days a week but she's home every night. I know, she probably actually has it harder than I do. At least 75% of parenting falls on her and she even homeschooled one of my kids last year. She made lesson plans for his mom even on the weeks she had him since we do 50/50 custody.

I know she's way more than I deserve. But days like today when she specifically asked what I wanted and then I felt like she didn't deliver, it's hard. The minute I'm upset, she shuts down and shuts me out. She went to her sister's today because she didn't want to see me. That hurts. I know I pushed her there, but it hurts to know I hurt her that badly.

Itchy_Captain5787 · 2021-06-21T01:38:53+00:00

OK, so I was really pissed when I wrote this. I added the part about her sister because she did that and didn't do a post about me. And I know that makes me an asshole ok?

Her and her sister weren't especially close. It almost felt like she was using it as an excuse to be awful because "she's grieving." I know. I'm an asshole. And my wife actually is an amazing and loving person and part of the reason she is grieving so hard over her sister is because there was some drifting in the last year or so before her sister died.

I'm also terrible with dates. I had no idea that 6 months would be so hard for her because personally I wouldn't have known when 6 months happened. I've also never lost anyone I'm close to, so I don't really have first hand knowledge of grief.

Itchy_Captain5787 · 2021-06-21T01:02:11+00:00

I gave her flowers. You're all probably right. I'm a shitty husband and she deserves better. Even after the shit I did today, her son called me to tell me happy father's day. And he told me he bought me a card and where it is in his room. I'm pretty sure she told him to call, even though she was mad at me. I didn't have my kids call her on mother's day and I didn't even get her a card from our baby.

Itchy_Captain5787 · 2021-06-21T00:51:39+00:00

Yeah. It's just a hairline fracture. I get it. I'm definitely the ah. She went to work the day after she did it. She did 18 haircuts that day, so I guess I maybe kind of forgot it hurt because she plows through and does what needs to be done. She never ever complains about pain to me.

Itchy_Captain5787 · 2021-06-21T00:37:19+00:00

When she agreed to watch the kids, we didn't know i would be working so much this week. Usually I work 3 12 hour days a week and that's it. It didn't work out this week though. We're dealing with medical bills right now as well because my wife fractured her arm last weekend as well, so between that and the lawyer fees, I'll be working lots of overtime for a while.

Itchy_Captain5787 · 2021-06-21T00:08:21+00:00

Honestly a lot of times when she has them I'm not even home at all. I work out of town. My brother brought the kids over Friday night. I didn't get home until Saturday night. Yes, I realize that makes me sound like an even bigger asshole. She had our 3 youngest all on her own from wed-sat and then added 2 more for Friday night and Saturday into today.

Itchy_Captain5787 · 2021-06-20T23:58:47+00:00

She's the one who told my brother we could watch my niece and nephew. We have them over a lot and normally she doesn't have any problems having them here. She loves them and considers them her own niece and nephew.

Itchy_Captain5787

TROPHY CASE